teach me how to fly like Jordan. show me how you dunk like there's no tommorrow.

I cant turn back time, and I cant stop loving you.

2006-10-16T13:34:00.000+08:00

Hey. Had some awesome times lately.
Not going to school really makes me so high.
There are so many great things bout it.
Getting to sleep in,
Great breakfasts,
Saving money,
Having LOADS of free time.
Oh man. This is the life.

Okay. So there are just about a gazillion books I have read.
Among them,
I finally read “A kiss remembered” by Sandra Brown.
Awesome.
I would say.
A 4/5! HAHA.
Same for “Tidings of great joy.”
And I read “Maybe this Christmas” again.
As good as I remembered it to be.

Well,
I did 8 freaking chapters of Chemistry in one day and haven’t continued yet.
HAHAHA. But better than never.
I started on 1 chapter of Physics. HAHA. WOW! Awesome! HAHA.
Okay. Sacarsm does not become me.
Actually it does but who’s taking note? Haha.
I’m at Chapter 17 of Biology and that’s about all the studying I actually have gotten done.
Oh my! That’s actually quite little.
More than I would have gotten done at school though.
Much more considering I wouldn’t do anything.

Hmm.
Among other meeting with Ruth and Andrea and people,
I met up with Tong last Friday with my other half and Debbie.
She now has this weird accent, kinda like Singaporean, mixed Hong Kong, mixed Sydney.
HAHA. Go figure. Debbie went to cut hair cos Tong was like 2 hours late.
As what we always did with Tong,
We did lame things, cracked stupid jokes and told a waitress she looked like Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Love Hewit and all the Jennifer celebrities we could think of.
No kidding. HAHA.
I saw Daniel in town that day.
The HOT ABC Daniel from THAT show. HAHA.
And Gail’s friend saw Lok from Lost in Hawaii.
How awesome is that?
Just awesome.

Went for job interviews.
It’s so damn good.
HAHA. The surveying job.
Zara called me up.
Offered me a full time position and I’m still considering.
1000 bucks amount excluding commission and 30% staff discount sounds pretty darn good to me. Oh yeah.
Think of what I could do with all that money.
The things I could buy! HAHAHA.

Friday was awesome cos we had cell group over at Uncle Paul’s shop and slept over.
HAHA. Me, Gary, Jehian and Jerome played UNO.
So fun! I scammed Gary and took revenge!! HAHA.
It was all very fun and funny but I guess you have to be there.
We went for a joy ride at 12 plus,
Robin asked where Gail was,
And I said “Cycling to lose weight.”
He said “Huh? She’s so skinny!”
HAHAHA! And Jerome went “HUH! Which Abigail are you talking about?”
I think the fun part was Taboo.
That was like too funny.
The word was wife.
So I went “Elaine is Ken’s…?”
Gail shouted “HUSBAND!!!” HAHAHAHHA!!
The word: Bird’s nest.
“What do they make you drink when you’re pregnant?”
“Bird Shit!!”
HAHAHAHHA!! Gee.
“Aunty Irene is?”
“Busybody!!”
Debbie was so funny when the word was pornography.
HAHAH. She couldn’t stop laughing!!!
And then it started getting X rated.
The word: Mother Nature.
I don’t know why,
But Debbie shouted
“When Joshua and Caleb needs to shee shee, pu put!!”
Everyone was like what?? HUHH!!!
HAHAHA. And Elizabeth and Gail was like:
“Vagina!!”
HAHAHA!! Ken and Daniel heard!! HAHAHA!!
The funny part was when the older guys started getting high on alcohol.
Daniel was drunk and laughing and giggling.
So Ken was like
“I think it’s time for you to go to sleep.”
Daniel walks up to us and says
“1..2..3..!! I can count okay! I’m not drunk!”
We’re like, “ Okay. He is so drunk!!”
“Call me drunk one more time and I’ll wallop you!!! HEHEE!”
HAHA. Then he walks to the gate and stands there for a minute trying to open it when it wasn’t even locked! HAHA.

At around 2, Me, Gary, Robin, Jacque and Gail went cycling.
Jehian and Jerome joined in half way. HAH.
We cycled all the way to Esplanade. So good.
When we came back there was like a whole lot of cops.
HAHA. The funny thing was:
“I’ve never seen a road without a path before.”
HAHA.
Went to sleep at around 4.30 after climbing through one of the windows in the chalet to take a shower.
Gosh. Gary kept waking me up.
And they were snoring so loudly!!
At 5.30, Aunty Darell’s watch timer started beeping!
Then everytime Gary turned he woke me up.
There were this bunch of people hanging outside the shop like smoking and making so much noise.
Then another group walked past shouting.
I sat up and I was like “WHAT THE HELL!”
I was really pissed cos I couldn’t sleep!
The girl went “Oh sorry, sorry! Goodnight.”
Then somebody walked past and shouted “Wake up!! Wake up!!”
UGH! HAHA.
Actually it was all very fun.
Cos me and Gary would always be the only ones awake, we would make noise and
then go to sleep again. Hahaha.
Teresa and all woke us up at 7.30.
Talk bout a lack of sleep.
Hahah.
Aunty Yen was like “Oh no!! Who’s preaching today? We’re gonna sleep!”
HAH.
Stayed over on Saturday too.

Biology practical was kinda okay.
The fun part was being quarantined and cracking all the jokes with Shu shan and all,
Talking bout Grey’s.
Oh yeah!! Episode 3!!
“He's crashing our date.”
“He needs all the help he can get .”
HAHA. I was really annoyed with Derek at that time!
Derek being childish and fighting with Finn!
The bedroom scene.
“My fantasy does not involve two men looking at each other.”
HAHHA.
And the look on Derek’s face!!!
HE lloked like a little boy ready and eager to do anything!!
HAHAHA

I cant stand Episode 4.
The spoiler was really a spoiler!!
And Derek is damn bloody stupid!!
AUGHH!!!

The thing is,
I cant compete.
I cant compete with her, and all the other great girls in your life.
I cant make you happy,
I cant make you laugh and look at me with that mixture of tenderness and love on your face.
And I cant make you love me.
I cant compete.
I give up.
At least I say I do.
But everytime I look at you,
I cant forget,
I cant walk away.
I cant because I love you too damn much.
Not because you’re perfect.
Your imperfections make you human.
But the thing is,
I love you so much despite your imperfections.
Maybe that’s why all this hurts.
The way I don’t mean half of how much you mean to me.

Grey's obsession

2006-10-02T21:42:00.000+08:00

He's 40 and still darn hot! Patrick Dempsey!
And I'm so physched up bout Eric Dane being in the official cast!!
HAHA. All the hotties!!!

Some Mark scenes from Grey's Season 2's episode: Yesterday.

Mark: How come you can forgive her but not me?
Derek: I havent forgiven her, and with you I have no obligation to try.

Mark to Addison: We made mistakes. All 3 of us. But somehow, I lost my best friend and the woman I love.
ARGGHH!!!

Grey's Season 3 Episode 1: The time has come today.

DEREK: "There are moments. O'Malley... moments that in a split second your life changes forever, and before you know it... you're somewhere else."

[In flashback]
JOE: "Straight tequila? Really? You are going to be sorry in the morning."
MEREDITH: "I'm always sorry in the morning. But tomorrow is my first day at work, so keep 'em coming."
DEREK: "Double scotch, single malt please.
[To Meredith] So, is this a good place to hang out?"
MEREDITH: "I wouldn't know, never been here before."
DEREK: "You know what? I haven't either. First time here. I'm new in town. Never been to Seattle. New job soon. Ah, you're ignoring me."
MEREDITH: "Trying to."
DEREK: "You shouldnt ignore me."
MEREDITH: "Why not?"
DEREK: "Cos you could come to love me."
MEREDITH: "So you're saying if I know you I would love you?"
DEREK: "Yeap."
MEREDITH: "Wow. You really do like yourself."
HAHAHA

MEREDITH: "I don’t what to say to you."
IZZIE: "When Dylan died, when, when the bomb went off, did you feel like..."
MEREDITH: "What?"IZZIE: "Like you were moving in slow motion?"
MEREDITH: "He was there and then he wasn’t. Like I blinked and he was gone."
IZZIE: "I feel like... I'm moving in slow motion. Like I’m moving in slow motion and everything around me is moving so fast and I just wanna go back... to when things were normal... when I wasn’t poor Izzie laying on the bathroom floor in her prom dress with her... her dead fiancé. But I am, so I can’t. And I’m.. just stuck. And there’s all this pressure cause everyone’s hovering around me waiting for me to do something or say some thing or flip out or yell or cry some more and I’m happy to play my part. I’m happy to say the lines and do what ever it is that I’m supposed to be doing if it will make everyone feel more comfortable... but I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be this person. I don’t know who this person is."

[in flashback]
ADDISON: "Derek, Derek, Derek, you can't do this, Derek. Derek, we have to, we have to talk about this. You have to give me a chance to explain. What are you doing? What are you doing with my clothes, Derek?! It was one time. I know that's what people say. I know that is what always gets said. It's just I don't even know how it happened, I don't know what I was thinking. It was just he was just here, it was just-"
DEREK: "You screw my best friend and all you have to say is, 'He was just here?' [throws her clothes out the door] Get out."
ADDISON: "No."
DEREK: "Get out!"
ADDISON: "No, no I'm not going."
DEREK: "Get out of my house now!"

[in flashback]
ADDISON: "We can survive this. We're Addison and Derek!"
DEREK: "I can't look at you. I look at you and feel nauseous ... we're not Derek and Addison anymore."
This is so tragically sad. The “he was just here” actually said a lot. Derek was absent, and Mark, Mark was always there for her.

IZZIE: "You know they took his body away. I'll never see him again. How would you feel if you never saw Burke again?"

IZZIE: "How did this happen? Why did we end up here? Why am I alone? Where's Denny?"
MEREDITH: "You're not alone, Izz."

IZZIE: "I just wanna go back to when things were normal, when I wasn't poor Izzie laying on the bathroom floor in her prom dress..."

CRISTINA: "What is wrong with you?"
MEREDITH: "Everything with me is fine, it's Izzie we're worried about."
CRISTINA: "Oh, what did you do?"
MEREDITH: "Denny died. Burke got shot. Let's just have a little perspective and realize that what I did was a tiny, slightly small..."
CRISTINA: "Oh, whatever, just spit it out!"
MEREDITH: "I lost my panties, last night."

CRISTINA: "He has sex with you and he's standing there all McGuilty and all he has to say is, 'What does this mean?'" HAHAH!

Grey’s Season 3 Episode 2:I am a tree

DEREK: "Okay Benjamin, Dr. Yang, as pinched and annoyed as she might be, is going to prep you for surgery today. Have you any questions for me?"
BENJAMIN: "Is that blonde your girlfriend? 'Cause the way you keep looking at her, you might as well just mount her right here, right now."
[pauses as Derek tries not to laugh] "I'm sorry, was I rude?"
HAHAHAHHH!!!!!

CRISTINA: "Bailey's on the warpath ... not the German warpath. The hospital warpath."
It’s hilarious to see Christina intimidated. HAH!

FINN: "You bowing out?"
DEREK: "No. You?"
FINN: "I don't think so."

ADDISON: "Dr. Stevens!"
IZZIE: "Please don't call me doctor."
ADDISON: "Oookay, well, please don't call me Mrs. Shepherd! Ha! That's funny."
IZZIE: "She's drunk."JOE: "This is true."
ADDISON: "Did you know about the slutty sex your slutty friend had with my super slutty husband?"
IZZIE: "You should have a muffin. They're really good and they help you."
ADDISON: "I may be beyond help."
IZZIE: [walks out] "Yeah, me too. Don't let her drive Joe."
ADDISON: [eats a muffin] "Mmm. Good!"

DEREK: "This is a change. From the elevator. A little bit more public. I like that."
MEREDITH: "You're married. You're married and you said things to me."

MEREDITH: "Normally I would like the things you said to me. Normally I would even think the bulletin board thing was funny."
DEREK: "Bulletin board thing? What are you talking about?"
MEREDITH: "But you're married. Which makes none of this normal. It makes me a home-wrecker and I hate the fact that I'm a home-wrecker."
DEREK: "Meredith. I'm not going to pressure you. Take all the time you need. Just so you have all the information. But my home was wrecked way before you came into the picture. I am just now done trying to rebuild it."

MIRANDA: "You can tell me... who's damn panties are on the bulletin board!?"[whispering about the panties]
CRISTINA: "Yours?"
MEREDITH: "This is bad, this isn't good."
CRISTINA: "You better claim them. She thinks they are mine. Claim them!"
MEREDITH: "No!"
MIRANDA: "I know it's one of you. It's always one of mine. Always."

ADDISON: "I thought you were room service."
DEREK: "I feel terrible. I'm not proud of what I did. You deserve better. I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry about the panties, the prom. I'm sorry I did that."

ADDISON: "Yeah. I'm sorry I did that, too."
DEREK: "Our marriage is over."
ADDISON: "Yeah. I guess it is."
DEREK: "It's all my fault. This is incredibly sad. Incredibly sad."
[Bathroom door opens]
MARK: "This is awkward."
DEREK: [looks at Addison] "I feel much better now."
HAHAH!! And Mark is so damn hot in this!! They had to use double scotch tape to hold up the towel!! HAHAH! OUCH!!

MEREDITH: [grabs George] "George! Callie is hot. She's really sexy, almost dirty hot. And she's hot for you. In my opinion you could keep using the darts as a weapons or you could go get lucky with the sexy hot dirty girl."
[George leaves and Cristina enters]
CRISTINA: "Where's he going?"
MEREDITH: "To get laid."
CRISTINA: "There's something wrong in the world when bambi's getting laid and I can't get five minutes alone with Burke." Grey's Season 3 Episode 3: Sometimes a Fantasy

IZZIE: "I hate the bride thing. I hate the pictures in the magazines of the girl with the veil... and the flowers that she's sniffing. Like it never occurred to her to put her nose in there until there was a camera pointed at her. I hate the idea of bridesmaids... and the colors... and does the bustle make my ass look bigger or smaller. I hate the whole thing and I never wanted to be that girl. That girl is stupid... shallow. Why the hell is that girl sauntering through my head?"
That is just so damn sad.

ALEX: "Does it hurt?"
IZZIE: "Yeah."
ALEX: "Where does it hurt?"
IZZIE: "Everywhere..."
ALEX: "Maybe it hurts for a reason."
Alex actually is a really great sweet guy you know. In moments like this, you just love him.

CRISTINA: [about Meredith] "She's dating everyone with a pulse and I'm trying to get Burke out of the bell jar."
ROFLMAO!!!!

ADDISON: "Here's the thing. We both really enjoy each other. Before... and now again and I think that's a healthy realease and I... I think it's healthy... for everyone involved but I do think just because I made what can only be called a transcontintental booty call, doesn't mean we should be trying to make something out of this and we... Stop doing that!"
MARK: "We're good together."
ADDISON: "We aren't. You need to go home."
MARK: "Come back with me."
ADDISON: "You're insane. You're not going back... I'm not going back to New York."
MARK: "Because it was just about the sex."
ADDISON: [slaps him as they almost kiss] "Oh! Um... okay. Well... goodbye."
MARK: "Bye."
I really felt sad for Mark when Addison stood there and said, "Thanks for the sex." People blame Mark for sleeping with Addison, but Addison's to blame too. The guy loves her. And he's always there for her, she's drunk, she makes a call, and he flies over! Cos he loves her, and what he gets is a "Thanks for the sex?" When he checks in at the end of the episode, asking for a room on the 21st floor and Richard asks him "What are you goinh here?" And he goes, " I dont know, I have a thing for ferry boats." It's sad. Cos we all know that he's there for Addison.

MEREDITH: "I'm dating. And it comes with snacks."
HAHA!!

CRISTINA: "Oh look - she's laughing. Because he made a joke, which probably wasn't funny. Ohhh, you funny vet!"
HAHA. Christina is sooo funny jealous. HAHA.

MEREDITH: "Hey!"
FINN: "I was in the neighborhood. Well, really I wasn't, but you are worth the detour."
MEREDITH: "I had a dream about you last night."
FINN: "Was it a good dream?"
MEREDITH: "It was."
FINN: "What was I doing?"
CRISTINA: "Yeah, Mer, what was he doing?"
MEREDITH: "What's that?"
FINN: "It's for you. It's coffee cake, best in the Northwest. I thought I would soften you up. So when I'm asking you for dinner tonight, you have to say yes."
CRISTINA: "Dinner? Tonight? How about that. Are you free tonight? Are you?"
(HAHAH!! Christina is irritatingly hilarious!!!)
MEREDITH: "Actually, I'm not free tonight."
FINN: "Oh. Okay. How about lunch then?"

FINN: "Strawberry ice cream. A patient of mine made it."
DEREK: "Don't you mean your patient's owner?"
MEREDITH: "What exactly is going on here?"
DEREK: "He's crashing our date."
FINN: "Well, where do you think I got that idea?"
DEREK: "I didn't crash your date, it was professional."
FINN: "You can't operate without her?"
DEREK: "I certainly operate well with her."
MEREDITH: "Enough! This is not dating. I want moonlight, and flowers, and candy, and people trying to feel me up. Nobody is trying to feel me up. Nobody is even looking at me. I'm an intern, do the two of you have any idea how much effort it takes to do all this? I am waxed and plucked and I have a clean top on. And the two of you are looking at each other."
DEREK: "Meredith..."
MEREDITH: "No, my fantasy is not two men looking at each other."
FINN: "We didn't...."
MEREDITH: "No talking until one of you figures out how to put on a date. I want heat! I want romance! Damn it, I want to feel like a freaking lady!"HAHA!!! Oh man!! Derek's face was a classic!!!!

Eric Dane:
"I go to the gym four times a week. When I am 60, I want to feel like I am 40. I lift weights and I have a really good trainer," he tells EW. "I eat whatever I get my hands on. You could bottle my metabolism and we would all be billionaires. I miss a meal, I lose five pounds."

Patrick Dempsey:
"Derek is a neurosurgeon," Dempsey said. "He's McDreamy. I don't think he's a real kind of guy, but that's OK."

The just seemed to insult his gender with that quote, although we suppose Dr. Sheperd does set the bar a bit high. Dempsey also shared a story of a recent plane flight when he was asked to help another passenger that suddenly became ill.

"There was a seizure, but I didn't get involved," he said. "People looked at me and it was like, 'Are you going to respond to this?'. I'm like, 'Certainly not, I'm not a surgeon'. People just expect I know how to do a craniotomy."

Chris:
On the innocence of children:
"I had this plate I won at a golf tournament on the top shelf in my library, and Chip wanted to see it, so he climbed up. Naturally, the thing fell and shattered into a thousand pieces. I came home and you could just see the devastation. He felt so bad. He couldn't even get it out of his mouth. 'Daddy, I… I… I… br… br… br…' It was so sweet. I just held him. Talking about my kids just makes me emotional. [Before Finn was born], Lily wanted a girl so bad, she would tell us that if it was a boy, 'I am packing my bags and I am outta here.' So when Finley turned out to be Finley, she felt so bad that she wrote a letter in that adorable kid handwriting that said 'Mom, I'm so sorry. I'm not packing my bags. I'm not leaving you.' The innocence. It hits you right in your gut."I think that is sooo sweet!!! HAHA.

I love greys!!

Dammit. This is just not fair! All the hotties!! Finn, Mark, Derek! They got to see them filming in Seattle!! RARRR! HAHAH

Grey’s Season 3 Episode 4: What I am

SPOILERS!!!:

MEREDITH: "McSteamy! Woo hoo!"
MARK: "McSteamy? That's what you're calling me now?"
MEREDITH: "Yes... but I don't think you are supposed to know that."
MARK: "How's my favorite dirty mistress?"
MEREDITH: "No, now I'm an adulterous whore!"

I cant believe Derek. How could he? Cant he see that all he needs for Meredith to be happy is to love her? HOW COULD HE WALK AWAY!!!!! ARGHHH!!!!And I am so sad for Finn. RARR. I really like him. He’s so sweet!!!

FINN: "So its Derek?"
MEREDITH: "I'm sorry."
FINN: "Can I ask why?"
MEREDITH: "You are a great guy. You're a wonderful guy. And you may even be the better guy, but-"
FINN: "He's the one."
MEREDITH: "I wish he wasn't."
FINN: "He's gonna hurt you again. And when he does... I won't be here. Take care of yourself, Meredith."

DEREK: "You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn't complicate your life. Somebody who won't hurt you. He's the better guy. [pauses] Finn's the better guy."
MEREDITH: "Derek?"
DEREK: "I'm walking away."
http://www.greysanatomyinsider.com/quotes/page_2.html

SEASON THREE

Episode 1: "Time Has Come Today"
The Dixie Chicks, "Lullaby"
Tegan & Sara, "Take Me Anywhere"
Sleeping At Last, "Quicksand"
Emiliana Torrini, "Nothing Brings Me Down"
Gnarls Barkley, "Gone Daddy Done"
Grant Lee Phillips, "Under The Milky Way"

Episode 2: "I Am a Tree"
Moloko, "The Time Is Now"
Mat Kearney, "Crashing Down"
The Chalets, "Theme From Chalets"
Bittersweet, "The Mating Game"
Jesus Jackson, "Running On Sunshine"
Snow Patrol, "Open Your Eyes"
Mat Kearney, "All I Need"

Episode 3: "Sometimes a Fantasy"
Outkast, "Idlewild Blues"
Lilly Allen, "Take What You Take"
The Pipettes, "Dirty Mind"
The Bamboos, "Step It Up"
The Poems, "Ballad of a Bitter End"
Joe Purdy, "Can't Get It Right Today"

Because life without her would be worse than death itself.

2006-09-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

Just look at those eyes and eat your heart out man.
Isnt he just gorgeous? HAHA.
Anyways, I just watched the first episode of Grey's Anatomy Season 3. Oh my gosh.
That show rocks my socks!!! AH!!! I can wait for the rest of the Season!!!
C'mon. Derek FINALLY told Meredith he's in love with her.

I mean like how awesome is that??? :DDDD!!!
Here are some quotes:

Shonda Rhymes: Everyone is plauged. By the past.

Adelle to Richard: I dont have anymore time to give.

Bailey to Omar: I cant. I cant turn back time.
This part was so sad cos Bailey was so crying and emotional. And it was so bloody sad the way Omar was so screwed up over is wife. I watched it with Joshie sitting next to me and I swear!!!He was tearing!!!! And the part Bailey went to Denny's body and apologised. My gosh.

Christina to Burke: Don’t ever die. AHH!! Something so bloody revealing when Christina cries. I mean the big, bad, hard, cold Christina crying.

Izzie to Meredith: How did this ever happen? How did we end up here?
This is so sad.
Here's something Shonda had to say:

I also wanted very badly to reveal the first moment Meredith and Derek meet. It is the night before the interns’ very first shift. And if you remember the first episode of Season One, there was a mixer that night. And there’s Meredith – with her (as George described in the pilot) “black dress, slit up the side, strappy sandals” in the bar. And she meets Derek. And they are so fresh with one another, it’s all so new. There’s none of the baggage that they have now. I just love when Meredith says “so if I know you, I’ll love you?” so SURE that she never will. That he’s just another guy. And when Derek asks Meredith what her story is, she says “I’m just a girl in a bar.” And we KNOW that she’s not – we know about her mother and her daddy issues and her soft spot for sleeping with inappropriate men. But here, she’s just a girl. And Derek says he’s just a guy. But, unlike the first episode of Grey’s Anatomy, we know about his wife. And we just saw his pain at discovering Addison’s infidelity. And this is the “split second”, the moment they meet, that has changed the course of their lives forever.

You could check out the whole thing at:
http://www.greyswriters.com So many things I love bout it.
Everything is so real.
You find you can relate to it.
Cos you dont have to be superman, or this evil villian.
You just have to be human to understand what they're going through.
You see,
The characters are so painfully imperfect,
BUT beautifully so..
And despite all their imperfections, they have people who love them.
Meredtih the "dirty mistress" who's always getting drunk and ends up in bed with all the wrong people,
Like the married guy Derek. her freind who has a huge crush on her, George, and the guy whose pennis she breaks.
But again, despite all those imperfections,
She is loved.
By Derek, Finn.
That's the beauty of it all.
For now,
This is just one of the reasons I love Grey's so much!! :DD 1030/373/1600/8401.jpg">

You feel so sad for Addison, seeing her beg Derek. This is why you simply cant hate her.
All the characters are so beautifully formed.
Shonda has a way of making the characters so mean and hated,
Like Alex and Addison and Mark, but then she shows you why they turn out like that,

What happened before, and then you just cant blame them at all.
You love them.
Like I once said:
Painfully imperfect but beautifully so.
Greys ROCKS!!
So many things I love bout it.
Everything is so real.
You find you can relate to it.
Cos you dont have to be superman, or this evil villian.
You just have to be human to understand what they're going through.
You see,
The characters are so painfully imperfect,
BUT beautifully so..
And despite all their imperfections, they have people who love them.
Meredtih the "dirty mistress" who's always getting drunk and ends up in bed with all the wrong people,
Like the married guy Derek. her freind who has a huge crush on her, George, and the guy whose pennis she breaks.
But again, despite all those imperfections,
She is loved.
By Derek, Finn.
That's the beauty of it all.
For now,
This is just one of the reasons I love Grey's so much!! :DD

Well, the past few weeks and days have been awesome.
Hotties, no school and all.
My life pretty much rocks at this moment.
I love my friends! :D

But I miss alot of them too.
Sarah, PJ, Her, Ellie and Isaku although we werent that cose but we had pretty awesome times, Alicia and Kwan and Tong.
Oh yeah, my life rocks. Haha.

Well, last Friday we skipped school.
I mean what was the point of going for two lessons?
So yeah and Lam and Chong ponned and were so freaking scared of getting caught it was bloody hilarious.
We met at like 7.20, went to Harbour for Macs breakfast.
We then flipped a coin to decide if we would go to Esplanade or Changi Airport.
It was heads. Esplanade.
It as a pretty productive day as compared to school.
Ruth came down.
We were all damn sexy in our curve cut FBTs.
The "fuck me" thing was bloody hilarious.
And the chocolate cafe was so bloody embarrassing!!
HAHAH.

Didnt go to school today :D

I read The next Mrs Blackthorne by Joan Johnston.
It's really nice. Yeah. And interesting.
Seduction by design by Sandra Brown, Silver angel by Johanna Lindsey and The bride wore plaid by Karen Hawkins too, all over the past two days.
Oh and I found Maybet this Christmas by Janet Daily.
As awesome as I remembered it to be.
Cant wait for Tina St John again.

I love the Ngs. They came over on Sunday.
Awesomely cute.
And Teresa was a dear and lent us the clay to make funky necklaces and earings.
Brinjals, watermelons, strawberries, mini shirts, cars, buses, trees, hamburgers.
Ah so damn awesome! :D

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Prison break and Criminal minds.
Yeah. Awesome shows. I just watched Criminal minds cos Phua has it and lent it to us.
Ride the lightning was the episode.
It's so bloody sad I cried.
You guys just HAVE to watch it.
Ah! And prison break.
Wentworth Miller.
He's so damn hot I googled him for pictures and I went through 27 pages of them and never reached the end.
Bloody hot!!

We're not going for Mass tommorrow, going school at 11.45.
I think we're champions!! HAHAHA.
But like I said, I love my life folks!

"How would he ever open his eyes in the morning if he knew it wouldnt be to see her lying next to him?"

He loved her so much he wanted to lay the world at her feet, but all she seemd to want was him.

2006-09-19T13:44:00.000+08:00

James Morisson, The Fray. awesome music people.
It's always so hard to list your favourite music.
And the list just keeps growing and growing.
The latest new music I was listening to was Steven Taylor.
Admittedly, I just listened to him at first cos he was hot :P
HAHA. But yeah. His music's pretty great.
Take a look at this webby and photos and tell me photography isnt awesome.
http://www.shimsham.com
And this page makes you love graphic design.
AND Jude Law EVEN more.
The picture's from there.
http://sofiveminutesago.org/contact/
HAHA. Today me and Kim walked to Dunhill at Taka just to stand there and look at his picture.
He's so darn HOT!!! HAHA.
www.sofiveminutesago.org
Well, you could check out this video too.
It's making fun of the Master Card advert.
It's funny but you got watch it till the end though.
Got it from one of myspace's friends webby. HAHA.

I watched Season One of Grey's Anatomy again yesterday.
So well, here are some quotes and awesome moments.
Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Cos it feels so damn good when I stop.

[When Karev is checking her heartbeat after a sugery of implanting a cow valve into her heart] So, does it beat or does it moo?

Derek:How goes our special super secret silent surgery?
Bailey gives him a really stupid what the hell look.
Derek:I've been practiscing that.
Bailey:You've got too much time on your hands.

[After George confesses bout his crush on Meredith to a patient]
Seriously. Seriously? You're comparing your pathetic love life with my record breaking tumour?

Derek:Miranda.
Bailey:Excuse me?
Derek:It says that on your name tag. Fine. I'll just call you Bailey.
Bailey:You think you're cute, charming, charasmatic in that neurotic, overly mussed hair way of yours. You're not.
Derek:You know technically I'm your boss.
[Bailey shoots him a 'seriously?' look] You dont scare me.

HAHA. Which reminds me of the time that..
Derek:My ex girlfriend is your girl friend's best friend. We've done great surgeries together. Dont you think we could be on a first name basis?
Burke:No.
Later in the episdode..
Addison:Hi Preston.
Burke:Addison.
Derek:What? She gets to call you Preston and I dont?
Burke:I like her.
Derek:What? And you dont like me?
Burke:Nope.

HAHA. Patrick Dempsey is so hot!!

[The morning after they had sex. Meredith gets out of the car and sees Derek.]
Meredith:Crap.
Derek:CRAP?! You're avoiding me!
Meredith:Yes.. And I'm also late.
HAHA.

Intimacy is a four syllable word for "Here are my heart and soul - please grind them into hamburger and enjoy. "

See, once in a while… once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. Once in a while people may even take your breath away. That's what you have to believe.

Patrick Dempsey bout being married without even knowing it until halfway into the show:
I went from being really liked to hated for like three months. I was like ADULTERER. Terrible. HAHA. The way he says it. He's so darn HOT!

Job interview today was okay and Biology paper was great.
Dont even talk bout Chem and Phy.
HAHA. We had sushi at sushi teh. Yeah. SO GOOD.
We walked past the library to drop off books and we were like:
"We'll just LOOK at the books. Just look."
We came out with 11 boks on our hands. HAHAHA.

I just love Grey's.

I wish I could be every little thing that you wanted.

2006-09-18T21:11:00.000+08:00

Hey. Haha. Quite a number of people have been saying that I haven’t been updating,
So here am I since they have showed such a keen interest in what’s going on in my life. HAHA.
Yeah. A LOT had happened since I last updated.
First, I wanna say I cant believe Steve Irwin passed away.
Like oh my gosh! He was awesome!! Animal Planet wont ever be the same without him.
He’s like the very image of it.
It’s so sad! Especially for his little kids and wife!!
Oh okay. So there has been a lot of outings, and yeah.
One of the funniest moments was with Teresa’s underwear rug! HAHA.
ROFLMAO!! Oh wells. The pictures will be uploaded sometime, one day.
Anyway I found a lot of my friends from a long time ago. Ellie, Isaku.
Well it’s fun. And gorgeous eyes and eye candies have been part of my life. Awesome.
The twins were down with hands, foot and mouth disease!
So poor thing!!
The funny thing was that I was wearing this top with a trench coat over,
When I took it off, Joshie went:
JIE JIE NEH NEH COME OUT!!!!!!
I was like SHUCKS!
And dying with embarrassment cos Uncle Patrick heard and he was silently laughing. HAHA.
O wells.
Let me see.
Training has been fun.
With that LOSER ACS Barker wimp that Fat Pat brought down.
And with Lam’s new boyfriend who’s so funny and nice.
He bought us drinks!! :D
The awesome part bout the hols were the late nights and late mornings.
Aw man. AND! The time when we climbed up to the second level cos the school locked it!
It was so funny cos I was totally dressed in black and there were cameras we had to avoid.
There was also an old man who was fascinated with what we were doing.
Halfway through the ladies came and scolded us.
Well, what we did was bring a table and stack a chair on top of it and I stepped on Kim and Debbie’s knee and climbed onto the ledge. I then walked on the roof and climbed over the railing.
HAHA. When up there, I got into the class and took my shoe bag, threw it down to Kim who tossed it to Debbie and did a touch down. Then Kim called me on my phone, told me the locker number and locker code. We were really like a bunch of thieves. HAH.
Then I went to town to watch Devil wears Prada. It’s so funny and nice.
My gosh! THE CLOTHES!!!!
Well, it was fun.
Then there was the stalking, and the hot guy who thought I was smiling at him and then smiled at me and waved.
HAHA. Well, we went to church yesterday to cook. Awesome food :D and lazy Jehian.
HAH. We did the motivational gift thing and Jehian said he was a server.
Everyone just laughed.
Daniel had a funky shirt. I was gonna say I want!
BUT it said “Love one woman, many guitars.”
HAHA. Guess what. The guys did the dishes on Saturday.
I’m so excited cos I’ve got so many plans for the hols.
(Talk bout counting your chickens before they hatch.)
We’ve got a job interview with Zara on Wednesday, job interviews with Levi’s, Topshop, Marks and Spencers, Espirit and Starbucks.
Not forgetting the hotel job with Kim’s aunt.
Which is awesome, cos it means great cash and lots of tourist, which mean eye candies!! And tips! :D
And the best part!! I’m going on a shopping trip to Thailand with Grace, Jacq and Cheryl!! AWESOME!!!
Well for now, don’t even talk bout Prelims cos it’s gonna be so screwed up.
We didn’t even study. Like seriously.
And those who know me know I don’t listen during lessons except Biology and Lit.
So yeah. Busted.
I went Ikea for breakfast and saw the whole group of netballers that skipped school.
Elmo, Emelia, Shi Hui and Jia Li. Champion.
Well, we have been frequenting Wisma’s Starbucks and have been seeing celebrities.
My favourite today was the damn hot guy.
The one in black. My gosh.
Even Juli was saying he’s hot.
It’s so fun. Cos I was going to meet Chong and Dong.
So I persuaded Alicia, Claudia and Geraldine to go with me.
HAHA. In the end, Val went too.
And Juli came down to meet us. It was one hell of a big group.
Elmo asked me to meet them. But I was too lazy and they were watching a scary movie :S
HAHA. Anyway we had lots of fun.
We went into Topshop and tried lots of clothes. They cam-whored. Hahaha.
And we saw this other actor again.
It was very fun.
OH! Marty’s getting married! BUMMER!! HAHA.
Anyway, this guy has totally gorgeous eyes and quite awesome music too!
Steven Taylor!
He and his girlfriend are awesomely cute together!
Dont you just think his eyes are gorgeous? And check out the mini van.
Talk bout funky! Dont you think he just has gorgeous eyes? And an awesome mini van.

Why is it that when you yield, I feel like the one who has been conquered?

2006-08-16T21:19:00.000+08:00

English orals was a blast.
And I passed my Chinese by the way.
A C6.
Gabriel's Angel was bloody sad.
And it's really good.
I miss PJ.
I read A Kingdom of Dreams again.
And it's still as poignantly touching as the last time I did.
Today's quote's from there.
Personally I think it's all quite blown up actually,
And honestly I have my own opinion and having heard both sides of the story it's like yeah.
The point is frankly, it's between them and I think that people who hear only one side of their story or are not involved should just stay out of it.
And as of now, I'm a neutral party.

Forgive me, I loved you too much..
Newsflash: I dont know where I wanna go, what I wanna do.
The only place, only future I know is in your arms.
And now that you're gone, where do I belong?

You said "Easy, I wont hurt you."
But you already did.
Far more than you can imagine.
You said that you love me.
But where is this love you speak of?
I cant see it,
I cant touch it,
And i sure as hell cannot feel it.
All i can do is hear it.
And words aint enough.
They really arent.
So now it's time for me to walk away,
Clench my fists and wrench my guts out.
Yeah, cos if your heart's not in it,
Dont try to fake what you dont feel.
If your love's already gone,
It's not fair to lead me on,
Cos i would give the whole world for you,
Anything you ask of me i'll do.
BUT i wont ask you to stay,
I'd rather walk away,
If your heart's not in it..

Then I will love you despite your hatred

2006-08-08T22:13:00.000+08:00

Hey.
I watched The fast and the furious Tokyo drift. D.K.
It's awesome man.
Like so good.
HAHA. And the cars!!!!
Especially the black and white one.
He's hot man. Lucas Black :D
It's so sad that Han dies.
I was like what the crap?!
The car explodes with him inside and Li wei goes "He dies?"
I'm like "No."
HAHA.
You guys should watch it.
Action packed, Funny, Hot guy and girl, Awesome cars, Awesome driving stunts.
AH!! At the car park going up the slope!!!
I've got an adrenaline rush just thinkin' bout the way they drift.
HAHAHA.
I remember watching the second one with Sarah and Isaku. HAHA.
Anyone who liked the first 2 so have to watch this.

Hate me all you want but dont ever stop loving me.

2006-08-01T18:41:00.000+08:00

On Saturday and Sunday,
We did flag day.
There were lots of generous people,
But very little hotties :(
HAHA.
Oh well.
We managed to sell all the pins and yeah.
It was very fun.
We bought slippers from Fox.
Actually I wanted to get the Ripcurl one,
But there wasnt size!!
ARGHH!!
OH! And I finally met up with Amy! :D
She's dammit tall now.
It's really annoying.
HAHA. But uber fun!! :D
We watched Pirates.
Amy kept screaming at every thing that popped out.
HAHA. The ballet music part when they were in the ball cage.
And the "I've got a jar of dirt. I've got a jar of dirt."
ROFLMAO!
Where's the thump thump??
HAHA.
Yeah. It was good.
I got quite annoyed with some stuff.

On Monday,
We had photo taking and all.
I forgot to bring my shoes.
And I was totally frowning in the photo cos I was stuck behing Boss and Jo,
And between Shi Yun and Hui Yu.
I dont get how people who dont come for training can actually be thick skinned enough to showup for photo taking.
The photographer was annoying.

RARR.
Everytime I see you,
I know I would give up everything I ever knew.
Just to know what it's like to be in your arms again.
And it hurts cos inevitably I would hope for more.
And the higher I reach,
The higher I climb,
The further the distance to the ground,
The more painful the smack when I fall back to earth and realise that we will never be...

We did pitching again.
Lin said I'm getting good :D

I talked about them with Lin.
It sucks and I still find myself wondering.
Why the distance?
Why only memories?
And it hurts to remember what we used to be,
And then snap back into reality.

Today was like whoa.
Chinese was okay cos she let us listen to music.
I was reading The Beloved Scoundrel by Iris Johansen.
It's quite nice.
4/5.
I read Double Standards again.
AWESOME.
HAHA.
Okay. I'm digressing again.
During PE,
Queck made a big fuss over the FBT shorts.
And she was talking to us in such a demanding, 'I'm bigger tha you tone',
That we all got annoyed.
I refused to buy the school shorts and Andrea told her,
"You buy for me la."
HAHA.
I cant remember what I said back to her but she went:
"LESLIE! Mr Francis!"
Reminded me of a kid whining,
"MUMMY!!"
HAHA.
The difference in his tone was so much better.
I really wasnt glaring at him okay.
My English sucks.
RARR.

Jay sent me an email in Chinese.
Dont know how that dude did it but I didnt understand a shit.
So I put it in the online translator and look what came out.
"Your good Anna
How are you? The forest has not sent the email to me. Tells her her to need to inspect her email. God blesses you! Jesus loves you!
- Outstanding Iraq-"
HAHA. I laughed for a good ten minutes.
The forest was supposed to be Lin.
Outstanding Iraq was Jay.

Cos when you're gone, all the colors seem to fade

2006-07-27T18:58:00.000+08:00

Friday.
Did I mention we got busted for skipping Math class?
Yeah. Miss Chee called Lee Ting Ting,
Who called Jo Phang,
Who called Jennny Leong.
Talk bout busted.
It was a good thing Jenny Leong was too busy,
So she didnt call my parents and give us detention on the spot, so yeah.
I went to meet Sarah.
She's still so short! HAHA.
And she was wearing heels and she said I'm taller than you,
And I was like no?
You're wearing heels AND you're still shorter than me.
What the crap. Haha.
It was so fun.
We bought matching bags and pencil cases from Queen Coulter.
She got the bag and me the pencil box.
It's really funky.
HAHA. Chess is so jealous.
She wants my pencil box and my wallet is the one she wanted to get 'cept it was too expensive!
HAHA. Yeah.
We walked all round town.
Sarah bought like 3 bags okay. And she spent 1 K in a day!
What the crap.
We went to trumpet praise and she just grabbed all the latest releases.
It was so funny cos I was like the new CFNI cd's out.
She's like yeah I know.
Next moment she looks at it and goes OH OH!! HEY! The new CFNI cd's out!
Next we switch roles and repeat it with the new Desperation cd. HAHA.
Dropped by Carl's Junior and we bought like 10 burgers.
HAHA. And what the crap! It cost like 77 bucks.
We were like this is so not right.
This is fast food.
Fast food shouldnt cost this much! HAHA. And it was only the burgers.
The American dudes were staring at us.
We cabbed down to Far East Apartments to drop off the burgers at their apartments.
Jo's really pretty now.
Sarah attempted to take off her shirt in the lift.
I was like this is wrong on so many levels.
Imagine if you dont make in time and when the door opens,
There would be two girls, one half naked.
HAHA. She gave up cos we were laughing too hard.
Walked around trying to find a camera.
The people were so rude.
One of them actually told Sarah,
"If you dont know the model number, dont come into my shop."
We didnt bother with the guy any more.
We ended up buying one from Lucky plaza,
It was so much cheaper.
Like 200 bucks cheaper. The Panasonic Lumix.
It's almost as good as a working pro's.

Saturday.
Flag Day again.
We had Mac's breakfast.
Oh yeah.
There were so many rude people.
RARR!! One of them actually purposely blew smoke in my face.
We kept running into Jobelle.
Yeah.
The favourite of the day was the American guy who gave us all of his coins and then gave us two bucks each and said "If I donate twice can I have two stickers?"
And he proceeded to stick in on each side of his chest. HAHA.
Church.

Jay replied my mail on Monday :D
I really miss them dudes.

I officially love Tuesday.
And Lin.
She's such a sweetie.
She brought all the library books for me.
All 16.
Yeah!! HAHA.
AND!! She, Kim and Li wei chipped to buy me Grey's Anatomy for my birthday!! :D
Another reason to love them more.
Plus, I got another belated present.
A Pierre Cardin wallet. YAY YAY! HAHA.

On Wednesday dear Benny got me the Borders gift card.
I love Benny. HAHA.
Especially when she pretends to be angry with me, but then, she cant help but smile.
HAHA. Hmm.
During the Poly talk,
Andrea's head went under some APNN's skirt.
We couldnt stop laughing.
HAHAHA.
And poor Corissa was stuck with Jo. HAHA.
I slept during Chem,
And amazingly, she let me.
I was seriously so bummed out.
We had mock exam after that.
And the functional writing.
For the first time in my life,
I didnt have enough time to complete an English paper.
It wasnt that bad.
I just didnt get to sign off.
Then it was a really big group of us that made our way down to harbour front.
It was so fun.
Me, C/Shermin, Val, Andrea, Gwen and Li ying.

HAHA. Chong laughed bout Andrea's picture till she cried.

Sick bay-ed for like all the lessons cept for Biology on Thursday.
I was so tired.
Did pitching!
Awesome fun!

Take all of me

2006-07-24T20:18:00.000+08:00

What a week.
Let's start from the top.

Sunday.
Hmm. We woke up at round 11.
And then remembered hey!
We're having lunch with Pastor Augustine.
The dress code was really pretty much semi-formal.
Wore formal white shirt with jeans.
Yeah. It was at the NUS society club.
It's like really exclusive of something.
The food was like awesome.
Had a 4 course meal.
Appetizer was like smoked salmon with sweet wasabi sauce.
Then soup and I had lamb chop.
It was bloody good.
HAHA. And the dessert, we had a bit of everything.
Oreo cheesecake,
Tiramisu,
Dark chocolate cake,
Truffles.
You name it.
Just thinking bout it is almost enough to send me into a suger over drive.
HAHA.
After that they went down to visit grandma in the hospital.

Monday.
Yay!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
Haha. Right.
I was really expecting Paul to reply.
But he didnt.
It would have been one of the best presents ever.
Lin dearie got me the notebook, both the book and the vcd.
And yeah. Other presents.
Thanks guys! :D
There was O level Chinese listening comprehension.
I was so bummed out.
It took so long to start,
Half the class fell asleep.
I didnt understand anything.
After that I went with Lin, Kim and Steph to the library.
Went out.
Yeah.

Tuesday.
We skipped SS again.
HAHA. 3rd week in a row.
Training.
Hmm. I cant really remember.

I'm tired and lazy to type out my week,
Cos I really miss P&J.

Flag day on 15th July

2006-07-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

Yeah. We had Flag Day.
Woke up at 745 and met Kim at Queensstown Mrt to make our way down to Chinatown.
That place so reminded me of P&J cos we went for a meeting there.
RARRR!

I miss them!!

Hmm. After that, the whole gang of us,
Me, S/Chermin, Dong, Kim, Gwen went down to PS.
We couldnt decide what to eat.
We were actually supposed to watch Pirates.
I mean we planned it for a whole week.
And then happily Gwen decided they didnt wanna watch but would rather spend money eating.
Right. Forget it then.
Walked around and all.
Decided to eat breakfast at Cafe Cartel.
Yeah. The food was good.
Me and Kim split breakfst menu and lunch menu.
Yeah. It was a good thing we called for a seperate bill.
Such a big hoo ha was made after that.
We walked down all the way to CineMax and back to get tickets for Stanley Tan.

We split up cos there were lots of people.
So yeah.
Me and Kim went around Starbucks and the taxi stand.
We saw a lot of hotties!!
HAHAH. And they had very nice eyes man!!
Drools. Hahah. And they were damn funny.
We targetted all the tourists,
Cos they are so much more generous then the selfish citizens of Singapore.
AHA. There was this guy I asked,
( He had nice green/blue eyes )
And he took out a whole bunch of coins and Kim came and took it all,
So I started hitting her,
And he started laughing and asked me
"Why are you hitting her?" v(AND it reminded me of when Paul asked Lin why she was hitting me! HAHA.)
So I told him,
"You gave her all the coins!!"
And he was like "Oh! I'm so sorry! I didnt look which can I was putting it in!"
And he proceeded to take out notes for me.
YAY! HAHA.

Then there was this cute old American couple.
And we asked the guy and he was like ask my wife.
And again they poured out all their coins.
The guy was like "Poor girls. Cant go back till their cans are full."
HAHA. And when asked if he wanted a sticker,
He said "I'll just point to my wife."
Somehow we found that very amusing.
HAHAH.

And there was this guy who looked like Simon Cowel
( Or however his name is spelled )
He was like clowning around with us.
HAHA. He asked where he should paste the sticker and I was like
" Oh. Anywhere. "
He procceeded to paste in on his chin and make cheeky faces while pretending the sticker was a goatee and he was stroking it.
ROFLAMAO!!

Oh we saw a family of hot guys.
Even Kim was like WHOA!
HAHA.

There was this other hottie who gave us like lots and lots of coins.
He looked like some actor but I couldnt place him.
He asked me to paste the sticker for him and I was like.
HAHA.

This ACS guy who was also collecting donations asked me if I wanted to donate.
I just stared at him and said "Why dont you donate to me?"
HAHA.
There was this fei fei,
We were in PS,
And we were just walking around cos you cant ask in shopping centers.
And he ran up to me and said
"Hey! I wanna donate."
And he was so excited.
A full grown kid mind ya.

All in all it was a pretty great day and I enjoyed it.
Like cmon, a day packed with hotties and nice eyes,
Who wouldnt?

It's hard to say it, time to say it. Goodbye.

2006-07-13T20:21:00.000+08:00

Truth is, I really miss them.
Like really, really.
Today at Popular, someone just said,
"Do you like Paul?"
And me and Lin was like "What the hell?"
Turns out they were talking bout Paul Twohill.
DANG! HAHA.
We've been checking our mail and we feel like slapping him.

Bloody hell.
Haha. I've got our whole clique hooked on reading.
Which is like really funny.
During class you look at us sitting in one role and all of us are reading on under our tables.
HAHA. And all of a sudden one of us starts laughing.
Or someone goes: "Oh my gosh!! So sweet! "
HAHA. and they used to laugh at me.
And I remember telling Chong I wanted to get those plastic pencil boxes,
And I remember very clearly she saying: "So childish. How old are you? "
Now, she has a plastic strawberry shortcake pencil box.
HAHAHA.
I cant remember what happened during the week.
I just know on Tuesday all of us skipped SS after school.
HAHAH. Training was like right.
Played soccer.
I was the goalie :D
HAHAH.
Hmm. Yesterday we all skipped our Humans and went to sick bay.
Chermin got caught using her phone.
Me and Gwen played sick.
HAHA. Hmm. Gwen's being damn annoying.
She keeps calling me Ah Neh.
That's like a really annoying nick name.
RARR.
We were all supposed to go out together after school,
But I was like so bummed out and tired that I just went back home to take a nap.
RARR.
The days are taking a toll on me.

I miss them :(
All I can think is that they lied.

Friday's training was super short.
But super amazing.
Me, Bunny, Lin, Li wei and Debbie were on one team,
VS Judy, Jo, Wan Ling, Qian Ru and Bel.
We kept scoring.
Everyone was like high cos I was high and everyone got high.
Everyone was like Whoa what's with Anna today.
I did alot of beautiful lay ups, passes, intercepts, lan di.
Our team had a lot of on court chemistry.
Bunny, Lin and Debbie.
HAHAH.
RARR!
We won. Training ended at like 4. 30?
Me, Lin and Qian Ru went to Macs to eat.
I paid for everything.
Fries, McFlurry and ice creams.
HAHA. RARR!
I was telling them bout the books I read,
And I told them bout Whitney my love.
They were so fascinated with it and they were like HURRY!! Some more!!
And they followed me around to listen bout the story.
HAHAH.
Then Lin asked if Qian Ru still wanted to borrow Joy Luck Club and she went
"Is that the story we just heard?"
HAHAH.
At the bus stop we were waiting for Lin's mom,
And we saw this American dude wth really really nice eyes.
And me and Lin were like PAUL!!!!
RARRR!!! I miss them!!
And Lin kept staring at him okay,
He turned around and smiled at me and Lin was like ARH! HAHAH.
Yeah.

Youth Cell was awesome.
Uncle Augustine cooked his trademark mee siam.
The Ngs came!!!
WHEE!! He shared bout the end times and the mark of the beast.
Yeah.

I really really miss them.

The room.

2006-07-10T22:05:00.000+08:00

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seeming endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I have liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realise that I recognized the names written on each card. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was.

This lifeless room with all its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I have betrayed”. The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I have read”, “Lies I have told”, “Comfort I have given”, “Jokes I have laughed at”. Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I have yelled at my brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I have done in my anger”, “Things I have muttered under my breath at my parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents.

Often there were more cards than I expected. Sometimes less than I hoped. The sheer volume of life I had lived overwhelmed me.

Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even million of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked “TV shows I have watched,” I realised the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of the shows, but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful thoughts”, I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled out the file only an inch, not willing to test it’s size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at it’s detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had ever been recorded. And almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!

In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. It’s size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a single card, only to find it stronger than steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to it’s slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I have shared the gospel with.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on it’s handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried.

I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity and sorrow in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me.

I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. “No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant, it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.” I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on it’s door. There were still cards to be written.

Whirlpool of emotions

2006-07-07T20:06:00.000+08:00

This past days have been like WHOA!
Overwhelming pretty much says it all.
Yesterday there were lots of people at the wake.
Uncle Jim and Aunty Lai leng was there.
HAHA. Unle Ian warned her not to crack any jokes.
ROFLMAO. Okay.
So when Aunty Sally went up during the eulogy we all started crying.
Uncle Victor, Jehian, Uncle Paul, Aunty Wendy all came down.
The funny thing was that they got the table with all char siew paus.
HAHA. I found it really amusing.
Aaron was lone ranger again. HAHA.
I found out his girlfriend's name again. Haha.
And I figured out who Uncle Jim looks like.
Ken Lim from Singapore Idol.
I'm serious. No kidding. HAHA.
Everyone was like YEAH!
Then Abigail tried to sing me a song.
I was like WHOA! Dont sing to me.
Sing to Uncle Jim/Ken Lim. Haha.
We were really hyper cos I guess we were really tired.
We were really nuts. Haha.
We had a cousin bonding session throughout the night till morning.
Except for Aaron who went back.
Lone ranger. HAHA.
And I think the genes thing in the males of our family was hilarious!!
Should have seen Aaron's face.
We finally did the Bye Aaron! thing to him.
ROFLMAO!!~
I think the talking to Jame's laptop thing was really funny.
Hahaha. What was even more funny was that Michelle and him heard me.
Someone thought I was Michelle and someone thought Michelle was married to Lance!!
HAHAHAHA. Damn funny.

We played Bang!
It's a super fun game.
HAHA. Me and Lance were forever on the same side.
The first time, we were a super powerful pair.
Then the second, I accidentally killed him.
THEN he killed me. HAHAH.
Okay, so it goes that if you draw a beer card,
You get an extra life.
So Gail was like "Eh! The Kopitiam uncle is not powerful."
And I went "Hey. Dont play a fool. He has alot of beer!"
We couldnt stop laughing bout that.
And the stunt that Michael pulled. Killing both his partners.
HAHAHHA!! We laughed till our stomachs ached.
It was hilarious. HAHA.
Then Steph did something super stupid. She was the Sherriff and I was the Vice Sherriff.
And stupidly, she listened to Gail.
Gail was like:"I think you should kill Anna.
She looks suspicious."
BUT I was just lookiong normal. Haha.
Some would say that that's suspicious in itself.
So I said: "Go ahead. You dont know how Abigail is, you wanna listen to her do it."
And Eugene said: "I'll laugh if she's the Vice Sherriff."
And Stephenie killed me.
I was like Voom! I'm the Vice sherriff.
HAHAH.
We laughed for like 5 minutes straight.
And Eugene was like "Eh Anna, I like your style man."
HAHAHA.
Okay. So in this particular game,
There's a card called Indians.
And you have to put out a Bang! to counter the card,
If not you would lose a life.
And it was really funny cos I kept quoting Russell Peters.
So I threw out the card and went:
"Indiano!!"
*Sharp intake of breath.
"Indaino! NO! Indiano!"
ROFLMAO!!~
Damn funny.
The whole night was fun.
We played till like 6 in the morning.
Oh what was really gross was those bugs and flying ants that are attracted to the lights,
They kept falling on our table and started getting really bad.
We were all so grossed out. *Shudders.
The floor was covered with its' carcasses.
Talk bout disgusting.

During the cremation,
Everyone started crying so bad.
Even the guys like Aaron.
I like Yen Shan. She's very nice and cute.
HAHAHA.
We went for lunch after that with Uncle George and Aunty Sally.
It was very enlightening and very opinionated.
Just never figured for Aunty Sally to be a MacDonalds person.
She was pegged as a high clss restaurant type.
HAHA. Gee I wonder why!!

Something that Aunty Honey once said struck me,
It reminded me of my life before,
How it can be so empty when you dont really have an intimate relationship with Him.
When you do,
Eveyrthing does fall back in place.
Cos you would love Him,
You would fear Him,
Obey Him.
What she said was:
"I always knew He was real.
I just never understood how to reach Him"
And that is a very sobering thought,
Because if we dont know how to reach our very own Father and Creator,
And that is own of our main purposes in life,
To have an intimate relationship with Him,
Then really,
What are we living for?
The Apostle Paul once said:
To live is for Christ.
To die is gain.
Likewise there is a song that goes:
"To live for me is Christ,
To know You is my life."
So Yeah.
There was another thing,
She was saying that one of her favourite verses was:
"He will never leave you nor forsake you."
Which is somthing that He has been telling me,
Over and over again.
Even though Paul and Jay has left,
I still have Him.
And it's so somthing Paul and Jay would say :D
You know that day at the wake,
I was singing to Noah his favourite song,
Happy Birthday.
And instead of saying Happy birthday to Noah,
I said Happy birthday to Paul.
And I was like HUH!
HAHA.
Yeah, and all of a sudden,
That day at Burger King with my friends,
I thought of Paul laughing so loud over the evil principal and I started laughing like mad.
My friends thought I was nuts.
RARR!! I miss them. Why are they taking so long?

I need you Jesus to come to my rescue.
Where else can I go.
There's no other name by,
Which I am saved,
Would you capture me with grace,
I will follow You.

This world has nothing in for me.
I will follow You.
This world has nothing in for me.
I will follow You.
Rescue by Desperation band.

HAHA.
There was like only 7 of us at training.
But it was damn fun.
We did weights training,
And everything was so Paul and Jay.
RARR!
Me and Lin were like ARGHH!
HAHA. And he the trainer was saying that if they breathe wrongly while pumping iron,
They get nosebleeds.
HAHA. So Li wei was like then we all stick tissue up our noses.
And I was like NO! TAMPONS!! HAHAHA! ( she's the man )
We all couldnt stop laughing for the next five minutes.
Even the trainer.
ROLFMAO!!

Here's a quote.
"We are afraid of losing what we have , whether it's our life or our possesions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand."

Again, What's life without the Life Maker?

Etched in time

2006-07-05T17:56:00.000+08:00

Here's the pictures I promised.
They get pretty emotional.
Yeah. This one's for my brothers :D

St Margret's
25th June 2006
This was after Lin got saved.
One of my favourites.

Changi Airport Terminal 2
3rd July 2006
Lin, Jay and me :D
Wo ai ni men.
His favourite phrase.
Besides crazy that is. HAHA.

Changi Airport Terminal 2
3rd July 2006
Oh man. I really miss him and Jay.
Really really do. People just wont understand.

Changi Airport Terminal 2
3rd July 2006
The last place we saw them.
And they waved to us until they were out of sight.
Here is when is starts getting emotional.

Changi Airport Terminal 2
3rd July 2006
It's some random stranger,
But I always wanted to capture a shot like that.
It pretty much sums up goodbyes.
The back turned,
The distance growing farther and farther.

Changi Airport Terminal 2
3rd July 2006
If you leave me now..
You take away the biggest part of me..

Changi Airport Terminal 2
3rd July 2006
Haha. I made her walk and walk until I got the shot right where I wanted.
Again. Bout goodbyes.
I'm walking away..

3rd July 2006
Emptiness echoes

3rd July 2006
It's a lonely world

3rd July 2006
Here without you

3rd July 2006
The miles just keep rolling.

3rd July 2006
Just passing through

3rd July 2006
Through your eyes

3rd of July 2006
The world passes me by

3rd July 2006
Insignificant

3rd July 2006

3rd of July 2006
But at the end, there's always hope,
Always the chance of life..
As long as you believe..

If you seek Me

2006-07-05T14:17:00.000+08:00

Lin has been a real dear.
I was really upset bout all the things happening,
Bout Paul and Jay,
And the things that has been so overwhelming.
And I was feeling so alone,
Upset cos of the things that has happened with them,
But then He really sent comfort in ways you would never look for,
And when it comes, you really know it's Him and no one else.
I wanna thank Him, and all the people who have been encouraging me.
Lin, Bel, Claudia, Gwen, Andrea, even Mrs Leong and Lee Ting Ting.
All the people who have been telling me to cheer up.
Chong, Lam, Kim, and yeah.
I'm fine.

I'm sorry bout what happened between us,
And till now I dont know what happened,
It sucks, cos we were the closest friends could be,
When he left you were there with me,
You were one of the very few people who knew.
It hurts to see that we hardly even talk at all,
Really, I would give alot for us to go back to the old times.
You and the OBS people, and the unbeatables.

When everything was falling down,
I was messaging Lin,
And she said:
"Remember what you told me?
Smile, cos it's what Paul and Jay would want us to do.
Even though they've left,
He's still here,
And always will be."
When I wrote those words,
I never imagined that it would be as source of comfort to me as well.
Thanks for the chocolates, the books, the ipod shuffle.
I love ya my little sister.

The picture's there in my file.
People wask me who's that?
And I smile a secret and say my sister and brother.

I'm so exhausted,
I havent slept more than 4 hours.
And it's really only by His strength we're all standing.
The chapter Paul told me to show Lin,
Psalm 27, it really has uplifted me.

The wake yesterday and the day before wasnt as depressing.
We were actually quite over it.
We could joke and laugh.
HAHA. Aaron and his "da pao"
I couldnt get over it,
Neither could his girlfriend.
We arent intending to let him live it down.
I'm so touched.
I'm the only person whose name she remembers.
And Uncle Skip and his random:
"Eh!! Chicken Pao!!"
HAHAHAHAHA.

School today was fine.
I was so tired.
I nearly fell asleep during Biology,
Which is one class ( and one only ) I NEVER fall asleep in.
Haha. Mrs Leong was really caring
She's super nice.
HAHA. Ching pulled another one of her stunts again today.
Mrs Leong asked:
"Which part of the snake not eaten?"
And she happily shouted:
"FUR!" HAHAHA.
I couldnt stop laughing cos I was exhausted to the point of being hyper active.
I remember Paul being hyper. HAHA.
He couldnt stop laughing his loud booming laughter.
ROFLMAO.
Read during SS.
Mr Tan was being spastic during Physics,
And kept talking bout Superman.
Like gee.
Haha.
I had cheese and ham sandwiches :D
Gwen and Kim kept laughing and teasing me,
Saying that I'm so lucky Daniel made me sandwhiches :S!!
HAH. I went to the sick bay with Li wei cos I was so exhausted.
V Wong and her indian friend was there :S
I decided to go for Chemistry,
Cos if not Gwen would be alone.
There was Chinese Orals.
HORRID.
And Chong and Lam were making me laugh my ass off,
Cam-whoring and making retarded faces. ROFLAMO!
I went in and I skipped like alot alot of words.
During the conversation,
I kept repeating the same thing.
The examiner looked like her eyes were going to cross. HAHA.

Went home.
Aunty Theresa, Daniel and Aunty Margret were there.
And YAYY!! The twins!!
So adorable!! :D
Caleb wanted me to follow him again.
Joshua cried when it was time to go home.
I love them! :D
They bring so much joy into my life.

I miss Paul and Jay.
Paul's taking really long to reply :(

This song really helped remind me I was never alone :D
If you seek Me you'll find Me,
If you seek Me with all of Your heart,
Not just a part.
When the road that you travel,
Seems like it never will end,
I'll be your Friend.
And the times that you feel like,
This world is so far from your home,
You're not alone.
Cos I will never depart,
If you seek Me with all your heart.

What's life without the Lifemaker?

2006-07-05T05:59:00.000+08:00

I'm staying home to take care of mum.
The wake was okay.
You know what the hardest part was?
Seeing Uncle Yen, going up to the coffin,
And he looking so lost.
He was blaming himself for not returning before she passed on.
Aunty Sally just breaking down and crying and crying.
One of the worst was Uncle Peng Liang.
He loved her.
Stayed by her all throughout.
And to see her go?
It was heart wrenching seeing him cry.
I cried like hell.
We all did.
And even harder was seeing all of them TRYING to smile,
TRYING to laugh.
It was so hard.
So hard.
Uncle Yen is not a person to admit weakness.
And for him to come up to me and say:
"I cant take it anymore.
I'm gonna go back now."

I'm really thankful for the church people who came.
Aunty Joyce (Khoos), Aunty Jackie and Darrel,
Uncle Boon Leong, Uncle Ngar Hon,
And, Elaine.
With them came the twins.
And it was His way of lifting me up.
Like as if He was saying,
"The Lord giveth,
The Lord taketh away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord."
BLESSED.
He gives us other things we can be grateful for.
There is always new life happening.

I was listening to this message while taking care of mom..
It was about the adulterous woman.
And it showed me somthing.
When everyone around you condemns you.
When it seems like the road has ended,
When you are facing death,
He still can rescue you.
Hasnt he defeated death Himself?
And He said:
"Let him that hath no sin,
Cast the first stone."
He wasnt saying that she didnt sin,
That she didnt deserve death.
What He was saying was saying
"Have you not sinned also?
Is not sin all deserving of death,
Whether it is lying, stealing, disobedience or adultery?"
And everytime we wanna condemn somebody,
We look and judge others for their sins,
Thinking them unworthy.
We should remember this.
That we ourselves are unworthy,
Deserving of death.
And the only reason why we're not dead is by His grace.
And then after everyone had left,
He said:
"Return to where you came from,
And sin no more."
It was as if He was telling her,
Go back and be a living testimony for me.
I put myself between their stones and your death.
And she was set free.
She was free because He set her free.
"And he who has been set free by the Son,
Is free indeed."

There was something else she said:
"How are people gonna see I'm alive?
Cos they look see that I have liften you from the dust"
We are His living testimony.

Another one of the preacher was talking bout sin.
When He was on the cross,
And one of them was taunting Jesus,
"If you're God why dont you this, and that."
The other guy realised that he deserved it.
And he looked at Yahshua and saw that He didnt deserve it.
He saw He was without sin,
And saw and thought: "That should be me.
Me who is being persecuted.
I deserve to die.
My sin put Him there."
What did he say?
He looked at Christ and said,
"Lord, remember me."
And for everyone who doesnt repent of their sins,
Who dont acknowledge his sinful nature,
Thinking "Oh. I didnt kill anyone."
But when they go and stand before Him,
He's gonna look at you and say,
"You killed my son.
Your sin killed my son."
When people ask Him and stand before Him who is purely innoncent and holy,
"Why werent you there when my father died?"
"Why werent you there when my mother left me?"
"Why werent you there?"
You know what He's gonna say?
"Look back 2000 years ago,
Look at the cross.
That was where I was.
Dying for you.
For your sins."

Give me strength.
Let me be Your living testimony.
The website for the sermon is:http://www.tscnyc.org/index.php

She passed away on the 3rd of June

2006-07-04T16:06:00.000+08:00

Aunty Honey passed away at around 2145 hours on the 3rd of June.
It was hard, cos she was the one who took care of us when we were young and mom was sick.
I remember the places she would bring us,
Especially me and Gail,
Cos we were the ones who stuck with Michael and Melissa.
Alot of that changed a long time ago,
But until last night it wasnt a permanent change.

The worse part was that Uncle Yen didnt get to see her first.
Grandma's lying in the hospital now,
And she doest know yet.
Already she had a stroke and is temporarily blind.
And I dont know how to offer any comfort.
I mean how do you comfort someone who just lost a loved one,
A blood relation to cancer forever?
And it's a double blow for her since Grandpa died young on her cos of cancer.
If anyone deserved peace it's her.

I remember how bubbly Aunty Honey used to be,
How happy she was.
Then I see her all weak and frail,
Nothing but skin and bones,
Throwing up blood and all her insides.
If that isnt enough to make a grown man cry,
What is?
The sight of someone you love being reduced to almost nothing,
And there's nothing you can do bout it,
Nothing you can do to ease the pain.

How bout Michael, Melissa and Michelle.
They already were seperated from their dad cos of the divorce and now this?

Am I getting emotional?

They're flying across an ocean now

2006-07-03T19:17:00.000+08:00

I feel awful.
I really miss Paul and Jay.
I really really miss them.
So many things remind me of them.
Red bull. Nice eyes. "Crazy." "Come on."
Smile. Ipod Nano. Airports. McDonalds. Bouncers. Frying pans.
Aww shucks.

Last week.
Everything was a blur.
It was, in the words of Jay, crazy.
PE was fun. We ran the most for PE ever. The most real PE lesson.
HAHA. Cant believe Zhi Yi and Debbie just washed their hair in the sink.
Had to help them hold the hose and wach off shampoo.
I cut my hair.
It's so messed up.
I asked the woman to TRIM it, and she cut it.
It looks HORRID.
I'm sad.
Still thinking bout them.
Training was good.
It was bad.
I broke the full length mirror.
We went to Ikea before training to get gifts for Paul and Jay.
I love the picture.
I got it printed out.
3 copies. One for me, Paul and Lin.
Bought a photo frame for Paul for the photo.
We were cracking our heads to figure out what to get Jay,
Then "DING!" A frying pan!!!
HAHAH. I found it amusing.
I kept pretending to fry things.
The cashier thought I was crazy.
Cabbed back down to school.
When I made the card/letter for Paul,
I couldnt stop crying.
I have no idea what it is bout him that makes it so easy for me to share with him.

All through the week I felt pretty down.
I didnt feel any difference in my life.
And it was pretty depressing.
I kept praying and asking,
And I just couldnt stop crying.
I didnt understand.
Where's the peace that's supposed to come?
The glow, the change, the joy?
I just didnt get it.
And I checked my mail but Paul didnt get back to us.

Sunday.
Left the house at 7.40.
Reached Bukit Batok at 7.50.
And guess what.
Lin was late.
Suprise!! Not!
Waited and waited.
I wanna rent Rumour has it.
Lin's mom dropped us at KAP Mac's.
Lin bought a burger.
We went to the Bukit Batok or whatever it's called shopping centre.
Bought sushi.
The woman was very nice.
She gave me extra slices of salmon :D
Waited for NTUC to open so we could buy super glue to write on the frying pan for Jay.
Couldnt get a cab.
Walked and tried to flag a cab.
Finally got one.
By the time they reached,
Paul already was sharing.
Something he said struck me.
He was talking bout this girl who was laughed at cos she said she was gonna save herself for her future husband.
And the girl just went up took the mic and said:
" You can laugh at me, but you know what? I can be just like you in 5 minutes, but you can never be like me again."
Pretty amazing.
At the end, we gave Paul and Jay the stuff.
The frying pan was so screwed.
But they loved it.
HAHA. Paul was like a little boy.
He sounded like a little boy when he said:
"You didnt mail me!"
But he was the one who was supposed to mail us! HAHA.
Jay said that they were really glad to see us and that Paul was talking bout us to his wife.
HAHA. Paul said he already told his wife bout the offer.
We told Paul bou the "Come on Paul!"
Paul was telling us bout him and how irritated he was with England.
He said he was even praying for Angels to stand in the goals.
HAHA. ROFLMAO!!
I can see his face when he was saying
"They dont deserve to win."
He kept saying "Now I know why I left England and came to Christ. Cos of the English football"
HAHA. Amusing.
Went down to History Makers with them in Chris's car.
I'm telling you, the worship was AWESOME.
And you could see all the youth really on fire.
Really a blessing.
Lin had to go back.
At first I was gonna go back with her,
But then I really wanted to spend more time with them.
Jay hugged me and said bye, and I was like, I'm coming with you guys.
HAHA. And he said, never mind, I'll take a hug from you anytime.
AWW. Paul looked like an incredulous little whiny boy when he said:
"WHAT? SHe didnt say goodbye to me?"
Went to the next church in Chinatown in Chris's car.
HAHA.
The guy there, his name was Paul.
And he was wearing a Mr Happy jacket,
Which made Jay crack corny jokes bout geeting Mr strong jackets.
Gee. They went down to get red bull.
The old dudes were so fascinated over Paul's biceps.
HAH. I like something that Jay said.
Someone, I think it was Chris, was saying that Superman actually came from the concept of Jesus Christ.
So Jay said: "But yeah, Jesus Christ aint no afraid of kryptonite." HAHA
Their sharing was awesome again.
I'm so looking forward to Paul's movie.
(Paul to Ching Ho (I cant really remember her name, but yeah.) )
You made me cry!!
I found that amusing.
I think we can pretty much repeat their lifestory now.
HAHA.
I think what was really funny was when they started their
Jay:"In your mouth."
Paul:"No, on my head."
Jay:"No, in your mouth."
Paul:"No, why not your mouth? It's the one with steel in it."
Jay:"No you're gonna roll it into a ball of steel in YOUR mouth."
Paul:"Do I look like I have a big red nose to you?"
SILENCE.
Paul:"Okay. Actually I do have a pretty big nose.."
HAHAHA. ROFLAMO.
Jay's sharing got me, cos his mom died of cancer too,
And I was thinking bout Aunty Honey and how frail she looks like,
How much pain she's going through.
It's really sad.
When I said bye to them,
I really felt very sad.
I walked further down, took a cab.
I told the cab driver to bring me to the nearest MRT,
And he drove, right back to where I started out,
Just the opposite side of the road.
GREAT.
Wasted 2.40.
AND he still complained that I only had a fifty note.
HAHA.
I called Lin,
And I dont know why I started crying.
I really miss them you know.
How could someone come to mean so much in such a short time?
I've been very emotional nowadays.
I dont know why.
It's all Paul's fault!!
Oh oh!!
His daughters are adorable!!
HAHA! :D

Today (Monday)
Woke up at 7.
I couldnt sleep.
I cant believe I let got so attatched.
I hardly let people in cos it hurts so bad.
Bathed, waited for Lin.
She had last minute tution.
So I cabbed down to her house to pick her.
HAHA. Marc was funny.
In the cab, we were all very sad.
Do you the cab fare was 25 bucks!
We were waiting there for them,
And I told Lin,
I'll bet I'll be able to spot them if they were here.
And Lin was like "Yeah duh! Who has muscles like them?"
Next moment I spot two big built guys a far way off,
And I was like " I found them."
HAHA.
The very first thing Paul said to us was
"You made me cry last night!"
And he sounded like a little boy again :D
Oh man.
I miss them.
Me and Lin were fooling around waiting for them to check in,
Hitting each other and blaming each other,
And we finally stop, and turn around,
And there's this chinese family staring at us shocked.
HAHA.
The looks on their faces were classic!!
They wanted to eat so they had BK.
I had a bannana mocha frap.
I was pretty sad by now.
And then when we sat down,
Paul started talking to us and we started crying again.
CRAP.
I really miss them.
I was like YOU MADE US CRY!
And he was like well, too bad. You made me cry yesterday, so we're even now.
And I was like you made us cry last Sunday too.
And he started gloating.
America 2, Singapore 1 he said.
They were all so hapy and we felt like two spoilt kids spoiling the fun being so glum.
Paul ate ALOT.
I think the story bout the teacher like chasing them right into the back of the office was super funny. But I couldnt really laugh.
Paul was really high.
I have no idea why. He kept laughing and laughing.
And plus, his laugh is so loud.
HAHA. I would give alot to hear their laughs again.
And it was really funny.
He was talking bout England and he said "That's crazy man."
Which is such a Jay phrase.
HAHA.
I was like "Dude, you've been hanging around Jay too much, you just used the word
CRAZY."
And he was like "Seriously?"
HAHA.
He was saying that he was reading the letter, and crying, and his wife was really blessed by it,like a 16 year old girl being so touching, and all of a sudden, at the end I wrote " P.S. Nice eyes.
Haha."
Like right!! HAHA. I found that amusing.
I was really sad.
Mixed feelings.
Paul went to the GST refund counter,
He got a mint and he couldnt open the sweet!
And the woman was laughing at him,
And he said: " You're probably not gonna believe I rip up phonebooks."
HAHA.
Then after that, this woman had a survey for him,
She was like was the service fast?
And Paul was like yeah, there was no queue.
Was the person friendly, polite?
(I can reall picture this) Yeah yeah. BUT SHE WAS MOCKING ME!! Cos I couldnt open the sweet. She was laughing at me.
( The woman looks quite taken aback and doesnt know what to say)
HAHA. And Paul's like I'm just kidding. HAHA.
We were walking and dragging our feet cos we didnt wanna say goodbye.
And I felt horrid.
I feel horrid inside.
I know I'm not supposed to look to them but to Him,
But they've really come to mean so much.
When we said goodbye,
Me and Lin couldnt stop crying.
CRAP.
I cant believe Paul asked to policeman on duty to take the photo for us.
LOL. It was amusing.
And then there was like no memory.
And he was like but there should be space for one!!
I deleted one!
The little boy was back.
HAHA.
Jay's cheeky smile.
Paul said that Goodbyes werent bad.
But I remember thinking,
They are when it's what you hear too many times.
Followed by promises that nothing changes, promises of staying in touch,
Promises that are never fufilled.
How can goodbyes not be a bad thing?
And it sucks.
After what happened so many years ago,
I swore not to let anyone in.
Lately, I let Bibi and Sasha in.
Again, broken promises.
Now, I cant believe I let them in.
It hurts so bad.
I hate goodbyes.
And a lot of times this reality hurts.
This truth that screams,
This reality of 'hello's and knowing that soon,
Down the road there will have to be a goodbye.
No matter how much it hurts,
No matter how long it takes to be torn away from me,
There will be a goodbye.
Look at YOU.
Then Eric, Kwan, Sharon, Mak, Sarah, Sulistios, Lims, Bibi, Sasha, Valerie, Maria, Zhi Yi.
How many is that?
Didnt I learn from my mistakes?
They all said they would always be here.
But they all left.
But I'll be better off this time.
I've got my very Best Friend with me always.
He'll never leave me, nor forsake me.
But that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt.
It hurts bad.

After they left,
We were really down.
I took lots of emotional pictures.
I wanted to get one with someone surrounded by alot of people,
But everyone is blurred except for that lone person.
Not enough memory.
Maybe it's contagious.
I really miss them.
I'm praying that they have a safe trip back to their family,
And that His hand of protection will be on them.

Went down town,
Met Sabrina.
She bought us lunch.
Pastamania.
Watched Just my luck,
Cos we needed a comedy to cheer us up,
But it didnt really work.
I'm still kinda sad.
I wanna slap Paul and Jay and scold them.
HAHA.
They probably wont even feel it.
HAHAHA.
The movie was okay.
Not terrific, not bad either.
It's quite a let down.
I expected it to be better.
But Chris Pine's eyes are nice too!!
I think the part when they kissed then the sign keep changing from 'delayed' to 'on time' cos their luck kept switching was ubber funny.

I miss them.
I really really miss them.
You know what I was thinking?
I think that it's a bummer they didnt get to see the town.
I would really have been glad to bring them out,
The poor guys didnt even get to get real gifts for their families :D
Paul, if you read this, leave a tag :D

I didnt find Him. He found me.

2006-06-25T19:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIN!!! :DD HAHAHA.

Amazing. Okay.
That's really pretty much all I can say.
There's a few days of posts missing before this, and I'll update later,
But for now this is the most important thing to me.
I've got new brothers. In Him.
Paul and Jay.
You know what's amazing?
We first talked to them at Teen Games.
And yeah. They were just the really strong cool dudes,
The men from America who are crazy ( in the words of Jay )
And we went in there thinking,
"Okay, we'll never see them again, so it doesnt matter if we embarrass ourselves. "
So we talked to them and asked them for the frying pans they rolled up.
Yeah. I'm not kidding.
So they're cool and friendly and really neat.
Forty grown men on each arm and no one ever manages to pull his hands apart.
They ask us to come again on Saturday.
Hahaha. Oh Jay used to play basketball, but he fell so much, he got kicked out.
Sounds familiar? HAHA.
Yeah. To me then, they were just cool dudes and yeah.
But Yahweh's amazing. So yeah.
Yesterday, I went down, we talked to them again yeah,
Laughed, joked, compared hand sizes.
And Jay goes "You should come and see us again."
And I went "So where would you guys be."
"Ermm.. I dont know."
HAHAHA.
I listened to Paul and Jay's life story,
And it was touching, moving. But not life changing. YET.
Jay was telling me how blessed he was,
How Yahweh provided him with the small things, like braces.
Yeah.
Then he gave us their schedule.
We decided we would go today.
When we reached, St John's church,
It was Chinese service, we thought we missed them and all,
Lin wanted to go back,
But I was like " We're here, might as well check out if they're coming later or something. "
So yeah, turns out to be the best descision ever, even though we didnt know then.
( I'm still amazed how wonderful He is!! )
The people were over friendly.
HAHA. Nah. Just kidding.
So they asked us who invited us and we told them the team genesis people.
They seemed pretty impressed by that and asked how we knew them and everything,
And Lin and me were saying we could say that they were our sister's cousin's aunt's best friends.
HAHA. So when they came they were like hey!!
Listened to them share again.
And this time something kept jumping out at me when Paul was sharing.
And I started crying abit.
I guess it was him talking bout rejection,
Bout how people kept telling him he was a mistake,
And I just felt like yeah.
So Paul was saying that he had everything he wanted in life,
But he still felt empty,
Which is pretty much how I feel.
I guess you know because I'm born in a christian family,
I grew up always knowing Him,
I kinda got complacent along the way.
Somehow in my daily walk,
After the incident when I was young, I just strayed from Him.
And like yeah, I mean I agree with the doctrines, but sometimes I think it's because it's what my parents do.
And I dont want that because I want a relationship with Him now.
There was somthing Paul said too.
He said that he's not always happy. But he's always joyful.
Cos he has Christ.
And I think that makes alot of sense.
He said " I didnt find Him. He found me. "
Yeah and it's true. Today Yahweh found me, He found Lin.
After the program, we spoke to Paul.
And he just took us aside and asked Lin.
What's wrong? Why do you look so downcast?
And he started sharing, telling us bout rejections and everything.
It's so overwhelming.
And me and Lin were like crying and crying,
Not because of what he said, but what Yahweh said through Him.
And I know this because he was able to pinpoint what was wrong in our lives.
Our major downfalls.
And I just dont know what to say.
I'm overwhelmed.
We accepted Christ again.
And the funny thing was Paul said "Now I'm your older brother."
And I couldnt stop laughing, because of what we said that we were his sister's cousin's aunty's best friend.
HAHAH. And Yeah. We told Paul. And he said well, God has a sense of humour. haha.
We went with them to St James. Yeah
And he shared with us bout so many things.
I dont know what to say.
Hahaha. Paul invited us to stay with him if we came to America. hahaha.
Thank you Father.
Thank you for Paul, for Jay.

Upside down

2006-06-18T23:43:00.000+08:00

Phew. What a week.
Oh oh! Guess what's back guys?
Smallville!!!! :D!!
Every Friday from 7.30 to 8.30 on Channel 5!!
Commencing on June 30th.
The moment I knew, I messaged Lin and Amanda.
We're gonna watch Suoerman returns together. Yeah yeah!
But ARGHHH!!! I dont want Lex to be back.
I think they should have used Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum in Superman instead.
Let's start with Saturday yeah?

Saturday.
Church was okay.
Poor Noah was sick so yeah.
I cant really remember what happened,
Except that it was Father's day. Yeah. My card was nice!!
HAHA. After Uncle Augustine preached, we all clapped.
ROFLMAO!!! Funny man!!
HAHAH.

Sunday.
It was a fun day.
First we went down to Aunty Sally's house for Grandma's birthday lunch.
Photo taking, and DVD watching.
She liked the bracelet I chose!! Hurray!!
Aaron was funny. HAHAH.
And the blackmail picture!!
After that at around 4, we left, and Dad sent us to Symphony heights.
It was pretty great, Esther's BBQ. HAHA.
Yay!! Watching Just my Luck with Aunty Maggie.
Letchmi!!! HAHAHA.
Shemma!! Oh gosh.
And There's a new wine..

Oh by the way,
I saw Mr Sng.
He's super happy :D

Check this out.
HAHAHA. This was live guys. The whole cast together. Check it out!!
When asked how the cast resembled its characters, Pompeo grinned and pointed at Dempsey.
“I haven’t publicly said this before, but I do have a crush on him,” Pompeo said.
“Well, I have a crush on you, too,” Dempsey, who is married to Jillian Fink, shot back, to sighs and whoops from the audience.
“I’ve got a crush on both of you. Maybe we can party,” Walsh said, laughing.

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

2006-06-10T22:44:00.000+08:00

Take a look at THAT and tell me he aint hot.
He's major eye candy man.
By the way,
I watched She's the man again with Gail and Andrea.
Sisters outing.
Yeah.
Everytime he came on screen, me and Gail were like!!!!!
The tampons!!!
I'm a Barbie girl ring tone.
HAHAHA.
Do you like cheese?
The "I love you" when she's still as Sebastian.
When I close my eyes, I see you for who you truly are...
Which is UUUGLLY!!!
HAHA.
Girls with asses like me, dont talk to guys with faces like you.
The part when the Illyria soccer team came out.
WHOA!!
HAHA. I am a boy. Prove it. AHA.
That's my boy!!
Is it me or does this game have more nudity than most?
Unlike you, we dont discriminate againts gender.. Ouch. That's gonna bruise.
It's stated her in the manual. (Grabs the manual, tears it.) What manual?
Butterflies!! Butterflies!! HAAHA.
Here's a quote:
Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some acheive greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.
LALA. I love that show. It's hilarious.
AND Channing Tatum is so hot!!!!

Hmm. Okay.
So my parents havent beenout of town. Yeah.
Which is pretty much code for HAVOCK and FREEDOM.
Yeah. Most of the time I wasnt at home,
But rather, was over at the Ngs.
Yeah. It was hilarious, and fun.
Ben & Jerrys.
Introduced Chunky Monkey to Elaine.
So much for abstaining from sweet stuff. AHA.
I remember we 'teh ah liad' with them and Uncle Albert.
Then we went to the Senior Citizen Fitness Corner. AHA.
Shemah oh Israel.
HAHAHA. That was HILARIOUS!!
Oh oh!!! And Caleb hitting Noah and then running away to escape punishment..
Then.. BOOM! Falls down. HAHA.
Retribution. Me and Elaine couldnt stop laughing.
Brought them bowling.
Actually Elaine was supposed to go too.
But she had work, and the twins wanted to go,
So I had to go to baby sit.
And was the only female.
There was Jehian, Jarren, Ken, Daniel, Alvin and HAHA. Pebbles.
Jehian's pretty good. Pebbles sucked. HAH.
It was freezing.
The moment we reached,
Joshua peed in his pants.
AND, we had no clothes whatsoever.
GREAT!
Ken wanted him to wear sarong. HAHA.
In the end, I washed it and dried it at the hand dryer.
Sigh. What would they do without me. HAHA.
Hmm. The moment I came out of the toilet, Pebbles had a strike.
HAHA. And they were being annoying.
Jehian was like "WHA!! The moment Anna's here, SOMEBODY got a strike yeah?"
HAHA. Everyone started laughing at me :(
Never mind. The next moment, Jehian's turn, he got a strike too. HAHAHA.
And I couldnt stop laughing.
THEN, Daniel went up and got a strike too.
I was like "See!! I'm everyone's good luck charm. Unless that means all of you like me too, which I cant blame you for. HAHAHA"
The twins bowled too.
They were super excited.
The actually managed to hit something a few times.
They used the 8 kg one, which was brown.
So Joshie bowled on one lane, Caleb the other.
Both went into the drain.
I told Ken "Haha. Looks like two coconuts rolling down the beach."
The next moment, Pebbles used the 8 kg one, and same thing.
Then Ken was like " NO!!! Not 2. 3!!!"
ROFLAMO!! HAHAHA.
Uncle Police!! Uncle Police!!

There was lots of outings.
Went out with Sabrina. Yadder yadder.
Hmm. Everything's pretty much a blur.

Sabbath was funny.
We sat in the room with Uncle Augustine.
HAHHAA. LOL!!
The Retirement age:60.
Expected lifespan: 45 years.
LOL!!!
And the earthquake.
..So, did the prayers work or was it a false prophecy?
HAHA. And the Noah thing.

Next morning we had breakfast and the counrty club.
Eat and you die!!! HAHAHAH!!!
Went down to church for spring cleaning.
Ngs came down.
It was fun.
Adjorned to my house for tea. Hee hee.

Had Grey's Anatomy Marathon.
Finished Season 2.
It sucks!! But it rocks!!!
How could they leave it hanging like that???!!!
Meredith: You are looking at me. And you watch me. And Finn has plans. And I like Finn. He's perfect for me, and I'm really trying here to be happy, and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't breathe with you looking at me like that so just stop!
Derek: You think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at my wife? I'm married. I have responsibilities. She, she doesn't drive me crazy. She doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal. She doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about my veterinarian touching her with his hands. Man, I would give anything to not be looking at you. (Long pause. Meredith turns around and looks at Derek. Derek grabs Meredith's head and kisses her. )
ARGHHH!!!!
Meredith (she grabs him as he turns to walk off): You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared, because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore.
It's sad!! And heart wrenching, that they love each other so damn much.
The look on Derek's face when he sees her coming down from Finn's apartment.
It says soooo much.
It's a mixture of hurt, confusion, anger, jealousy, but the most of all PAIN.
They love each other so damn much.
And the way his face softens when she tells him she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with him.
And when she told him she slept with George.
At first he was kidding with her.
It was first amusement. Then PAIN. Then blank.
And then there's Addison.
"How am I supposed to compete? Derek loves Meredith. And the only people who doesnt know that is Derek and Meredith. How am I supposed to compete with that?"
Who loves Derek so much.
And then Mark.
"I miss you.. We all made mistakes. All 3 of us. And somehow, somehow, I lost my best friend and the woman I love.."
ARGGHHH!!!! Who loves Addison so much.
"How come you can forgive her but not me?"
"I havent forgiven her, and with you, I have no obligation to try."
It's sad it really is.
Mark and Derek have to maek up.
They HAVE to!!!
And there's also George.
" I know I'm not a world reknowned surgeon and I know I'm not alot of things you've gone for in the past. But I would never leave you, I would never hurt you, and I will never stop loving you. "
Who loves Meredith so much. Its sad. It really is.
And Finn!!!!!!!
"Dont call. Never call. Always show up."
Who is starting to fall for Meredith,
Who will inevitably get hurt when Meredith chooses Derek.
AHHH!
I hate/love the writers.
Who makes you love all the characters, and then hurts all of them.
Derek should be with Meredith.
Addison should be with Mark.
George can be with his weird Callie.
Finn can meet some girl who loves him and he loves.
He SHOULDNT love Meredith. NO!!!!!!!!
He's so sweet and nice and PERFECT.
AND!! Denny should have never died!!!
Burke is such a perfect boyfriend and Christina should show how much she loves him too!!
ARGHH!! I think I'm obsessed.
But I cant help it!!
Dammit!!!
DVDS anyone??!!
I wanna watch Once and Again.

Tonight was dinner with the board members.
It was really good.
The bill was around like 600 bucks.
Yeah.
I need to go to the library.

Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

2006-06-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

"Chasing Cars"

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I would give anything to not be looking at you

2006-06-04T10:17:00.000+08:00

Hey.
So on Wednesday I met Gail and Sabrina.
We went to buy Daniel's present.
We bought Havianna's and yeah.
Lots and lots of Ah lian wrapping paper hahaha.
We wrapped it like super super alot of times, hahaha so yeah.
Hmm. Then I stayed over at Aunty Joyce's house os I had orals.

Thursday.
Hmm. Orals was okay, but I think I failed.
Yeah. After that we went town with Kim, the S/Chermin, Andrea and Gwen.
HAHA. Ate Mos and yeah. We went Toy Town!! YAY!!!
So funn!!! And yeah, we were gonna buy cups. Super cool!! :DDD
Yeah. So I went down to Elaine's and stayed over.
The twins were like really great.

Friday.
Oh yeah. I watched She's the man with Lin.
Hilarious SHIT!!! REALLY NICE!! :DD
And the guy is like Mega eye candy.
I'm watching with the youth again.
Channing Tatum :DDD!!!
Oh and here's a quote:
" Girls with asses like me, dont talk to guys with faces like you. "
HAHAHA. LOL!! I think that's really funny!! :DD
Oh my gosh!! :DD
He's dammit hot!!:DD HAHAHA.
I think I've got lots of eye candy.
HAHA. Got a weakness for nice eyes man!!
Chris Pine.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
Channing Tatum.
Oh oh!! And!!
The older charmers :DD
Michael Rosenbaum.
Patrick Dempsey.
Hugh Jackman. YEAH!!!
www.justmyluckmovie.com
Oh wells. I cant wait!!! :DD
Hmm. Okay.
We also met Esther for dinner at Ikea.
Yeah. Gayry was the thorn among the roses.
HAHAHAH!
Yeah. Cell group was okay.
Quite fun. We played Pictionary.
Idiot man Gayry.
HAHA. We had Strabucks vouchers.
The happy birthday thing we did to Daniel was damn lame.
HAHAHA.
Should have seen his face when opened the present.
At first like patiently taking out the scotch tape,
By the end, RRRRRRRRRIIIPPPPPPP!!!!
HAHAHA.
And he saw the box and he was like the [Huh! What kinda shoes is this. 24 dollars only.]
*Opens the box. PHEW!
Thanks!! I love Haviannas!!
HAHAH.
Me Gayry and Eliz were gossiping.
HAHA. Yeah. Funny shit.
And we kept laughing bout the "Nong Nong" ago.
HAHA. We were saying the next day Jason worship lead he would sing,
" My heart Nongs for You my Saviour"
HAHAHA. And we started singing all the songs with "Nong" in it.
We took train back.
Amazing eh. HAHAHA.

Saturday.
So we went for the ROM.
We were late, cos the taxi driver was driving at like 40 km/h.
GEE!!! HAHAHA. So annoying.
It's a really Nong Nong story. HAHAHA.
Aunty Honey looked so tired and yeah. It was sad.
HAHAHA. Aaron kept taking so many chicken wings to takeaway.
His girlfriend's damn funny man.
And then he forgot to take the whole packet. HAHA.
And the " WHA!!! SO FAST AH!!! Okay. We wait for her to sample."
HAHA. And Andrea's "Popo, you dont want to Pai Zhao"
Coming out as "Popo, you dont want to Pa Jiao"
HAHAH!! Aaron sent us down to church. Yeah.
Uncle Augustine "interrogated" me. Scary. HAHA.
HAHAH. The keyowrd was "SCANDALOUS."
Me and Gayry, kept waiting for Gail to look then we just kept saying SCANDLOUS!!!
HAHA. Funny man!! Then we recruited Elizabeth and Jehian and Jarren.
See no evil!! Hahah!!
Elizabeth's dream was disgusting.
DISGUSTING!!!! SHIVERS!!!!
AHA!
Stayed over at Elaine's.

Sunday.
Church today was okay.
Great. Worship was awesome.
Food was great.
We went to drink Teh tareh with Uncle Albert and Ngs.
HAHAHA. Then we went to the Senior Citizens Fitness Center.
Funny Shit.
Cant wait for 22nd June!!
Just my luck!!! Chris Pine :DD!!

So I was never good enough for you.
Never enough.
I can never satisfy, I would never measure up.
But sad to say,
To me, you're all I ever need.
It's not that I cant see your flaws, I just love you too damn much.

Do not resuscitate

2006-05-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

MVO: No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it. Eventually the lies fall away.
MVO: But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts.
(Derek looks on after her for a bit and then heads back into the trailer)
MVO: So we lie.

(Dr. Bailey gestures and walks off. Meredith lets the door close behind her and surveys the room about to walk to Dr. Shepard. She stops abruptly. Dr. Shepard is Derek from this morning with other doctors!!!! She stands frozen. Dr. Shepard takes a glance at his chart, sees Meredith and turns back to his chart. He then does a double take. Meredith scurries back the way she came. Dr. Shepard shocked is still staring at the spot where she was standing.)

(Cut Meredith walking down a hallway. Dr. Shepard comes up behind her and pulls her into an empty stairwell)

MEREDITH: Dr. Shepard.
DR. SHEPARD: Dr. Shepard? This morning it was Derek. Now its Dr. Shepard?
MEREDITH: Dr. Shepard we should pretend it never happened.
DR. SHEPARD: What never happened? You sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning. (He is very amused.) Because both are fond memories I'd like to hold onto.
MEREDITH (serious): No. There will be no memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore and you're not the guy. (Dr. Shepard is smiling) This can't exist. You get that, right?
DR. SHEPARD (nods): You took advantage of me and now you want to forget about it.
MEREDITH: I did not take..
DR. SHEPARD (interrupts): I was drunk, vulnerable and good looking and you took advantage.
MEREDITH (smiling): Okay I was the one who was drunk and you are not that good looking.
DR. SHEPARD: Maybe not today. Last night? Last night I was very good looking. I had my red shirt on. My good looking shirt. You took advantage.
MEREDITH: I did not take advantage.
DR. SHEPARD (smiling): Want to take advantage again? Say Friday night?
(Meredith is a little shocked)
MEREDITH: No. You're an attending. And I'm your intern.
(Dr. Shepard looks like he wants to kiss her)
MEREDITH: Stop looking at me like that!
DR. SHEPARD: Like what?
MEREDITH (adamant): Like you've seen me naked.
(He's smirking now)
MEREDITH: Dr. Shepard! This is inappropriate. (Dr. Shepard seems confused) Has that ever occurred to you?
(Dr. Shepard sighs as Meredith leaves the stair way)
HHAHAHAHHA!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

Hmm. Sunday.
I didnt go for the movie in the end.
Cos the twins were at my house and yeah.
Me and Steph stayed home to baby sit them.
Uh huh. So yeah.
Brought them down to Macs to eat french fries.
So adorable!! :DDD
HAHAHA. Joshie got stuck in between the chairs.
So scary I tell you. Couldnt get him out.
Luckily this lady came to help me.
Yeah. Then we went to the playground.
The green slide is really very fun okay.
Very fast. Haha. second childhood.
Yeah. Elaine bought us two tubs of cie cream for baby sitting them.
AHA. Yeah. All in all the day was great!! :D

Monday.
Chinese Os.
DIEEE!!!! I didnt know how to read the passage man :(
After that, Sabrina messaged me and asked if I wanted to go out.
She wanted to treat me lunch!! YEAH YEAH!! HAHAH.
Went down town with Chermin.
Gail was already there, but SUPLISE!!! HAHAA Sabrina was late.
HAHA. We took very long to decide what we wanted to eat.
We walked to Cine's Marche then we realised it was closed.
Then we went to check movie timings for Da Vinci code.
Sabrina's treat. HAHA. But the idiot trainee didnt wanna let me watch. NEH NEH.
So we decided it was sign and we went to eat Sakae buffet.
Ate and ate.
When we called for the bill, we realised it was 3 yet when we came in,
So we were actually eating Ala Carte!!
DIEE!!! HAHAHAHA.
We were soooo full.
We went shopping.
Yeah. saw this really nice blazer.
But didnt have my size, so Gail bought it. NEH NEH.
AHA. Wanted to get Daniel a haircut voucher for his birthday. HAHA.
Remember our genius plan!? HAHAHA.
Actually Phua wanted to meet us,
But by the time he replied.. haha.
The pig was sleeping at 2 pm.
Yeah. Bought stuff, went back.
I wanna watch Grey's!!!! :(

Tuesday.
Went down for training.
It was okay.
Nice plays and all.
Express VS Normal
We won!!!
It was me, Amamnda, Lin and Qian Ru.
[P.S I didnt know Qian Ru was in Express!! HAHA]

remember we were all being very childish and nonsensical.
Every time we put in the ball, we kept saying, excuse me, "LOSER'S ball." HAHA.
It was good.

HAHA. Miss Goh gave us Chee kuey.
She specifically told me not to let Amanda eat cos when she saw it,
She said: " Chee kuey makes you FAT!" HAHA!
We were like scavengers who didnt eat for ten years, sitting on the canteen floor fighting over chee kuey. HAHA. It was part of bonding.
Went down to Raja Inn cos they wanted to eat steamboat.
I didnt feel like it, so yeah, me and Lin went down to Deli and bought stuff to eat.
Debbie came to meet us.
The clever girl dragged me and Lin everywhere.
We were supposed to go cut hair.
Then she went to Lucky plaza.
Couldnt find the shop,
Then I was like, arent we supposed to go to Far east?
This is Lucky Plaza.
The daft idiot didnt get it.
Only until she saw the sign Lucky Plaza then she realised.
Idiot. HAHAHA.
The haircut was okay.
Debbie looked like some Anime character.
HAHAH.
Went to Queensway cos Debbie's shirt was too small and she wanted to change.
Neh neh. Debbie owes me 11 bucks.
Sent her back home, cos from there we had direct bus to Great world,
And we had like 2 hours before the movie. Took 970 down.
We did alot of jay walking.
Sat in Macs.
Saw Judy come in with Germaine.
Called her, asked her who she was with and she said: "Friends."
I was like "Germaine?"
And she said "No lah."
HAHAHA. Went to confront her. ROFLMAO!!!~

Steph came down.
Yeah. Went to Arcade to fetch them.
HAHA. We saw Qian ru playing th drums thing! FAIL!!
HAHAHA. We took over.
Passed a few, then we failed.
Me and Amanda figured it was beacuse of Lin who got the bass drums.
She missed like practically every beat! HAHAH!

X men 3.
We were very annoying.
Me Amanda and Lin sat together, and we kept quoting the line and what would happen next! HAHAHAH!!
Qian Ru is damn retarded.
She doesnt know how to watch movies.
Judy fell asleep okay!! Like seriously!! HAHA.
Qian Ru asked why there were so many mutants,
And me and Amanda were like dont you kknow?
We're mutants too! We can predict what will happen next!! HAHAH!
Then we kept telling her. HAHAH!
Multiple Man!!! Eric Dane!!
Wolverine!!! Hugh Jackman!!! HAHAHA.
IceMan!!! Shawn Ashmore!!!
Me, Lin and Amada kept on going on and on about their nice eyes!! HAHAHA!
I love Eric Dane!! HAHAHAHA.
Underwear part!! HAHAHAH!!!!
We stayed till after the credits and was laughing at all the suckers who would miss the "ending" cos they left early.
It was like we stayed for five minutes and the ending was like what 10 seconds?
Irritating. HAHAHAH.
Bought sushi.
Went home.
I dont know why I was so bummed.
Supposed to stay over at Elaine's today?
But I have Chinese Orals tommorrow. Die!!
Dont feel like waking up so early for like 1 hour or so.
Didnt go for lessons today.
Wasnt sure if there was Biology.
Messaged Chermin and she didnt reply. Neh neh.
Yeah. Meeting basketballers later.
Then going down town to take pictures at the skate park for Gail's project.
OOOOOH! Hotties!! :DD HAHAHA.

Hmm. Let me see.
I read So speaks the heart by Johanna Lindsey.
It's really sweet and nice. I would give it 4/5.
Yeah. The ending is a tear inducer.

Some of the sweetest moments of Grey's Anatomy

2006-05-28T02:39:00.000+08:00

Derek: It's not the chase.
Meredith: What?
Derek: You and me. It is not the thrill of the chase. It's not a game. It's… it's your tiny ineffectual fists. And your hair.
Meredith: My hair?
Derek: It smells good. And you're very, very ballsy. It keeps me in line.
Meredith: I'm still not going out with you.
Derek: You say that now.

Mr Murphy: Believe me son, living with a woman who cant love you back, way lonelier than being alone.

Addison: Are you done Derek? Hurting me back I mean. Cos if you're not, I need to special order a thicker skin.

Meredith: Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy."

Meredith (voiceover): So here's the truth about truth. It hurts. So we lie.
ARGHH!! I think I'm obssesed with that show. Like seriously!! hahaha.

Derek: Bailey's back? (Hurries to the door but stops when he looks in the window) And her cervix is being examined by my wife, which is a visual that I will never get out of my head.
HAHAH!!! ROFLMAO!!! I just find that SOOOOO FUNNY!!! HAHAHAH!

Derek: You alright?
Meredith: I have a feeling.
Derek: I get those.
Meredith: Yeah?
Derek: Yeah.
Meredith: And?
Derek: If you wait long enough it passes.
Meredith: You promise?
Derek: I promise.
(Meredith walks away, and Addison walks in)
Addison: Hey.. what'ya doing?
Derek: Waiting for it to pass.
AWWW!!

Izzie: (to George and Alex) Would you two just shut up! Nobody cares if the blue is bluer or if you have super smelling powers. Meredith could die. Any minute she could just die. Actually stop living. Dead. Corpse. (starts giggling) I'm sorry. Sorry. God, I have really inappropriate reactions to this kind of stress. I'm sorry.
HAHAHA!! Izzie is soo funny and bimbotic.

Mark: That guy's pretty much a goner, huh?
Meredith: Sensitivity. I like that in a stranger. Are you new here?
Mark: Visiting. Confounded by all the rain and it's only my first day in town.
Meredith: You get used to it.
Mark: It makes me wanna stay in bed all day.
Meredith: We just met and already you're talking about bed. Not very subtle.
(Derek sees him and so does Addison)
Mark: Subtle never been my strong suit. So, do you ever go out with co-workers?
Meredith: I um...make it a rule not to.
Mark: Then I am so glad that I don't work here.
vMeredith: Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?
Mark: Would that be wrong?
Meredith: Meredith.
(They shake hands, and Derek hits him)
Meredith: What the hell was that?!
Derek: That was Mark. :DDD!! LOVE IT!!! I love Mark! But I love Derek and Meredith!! AHH!!! CONFUSION!!!

Mark: How come you can forgive her but not me?
Derek: I didnt forgive her, and with you I have no obligation to try.

Webber: Punching out people on my surgical floor. My head of neuro-surgery punching out people on my surgical floor.
Addison: Put the ice back on your hand.
Derek: My hand is fine!
Webber: Put the damn ice on your 2 million dollar a year hand! Now would someone tell my what the hell happened?
Addison: That was Mark.
Webber: Who's Mark?
Addison: He and Derek used to work together back in New York. And ... umm... They... We were all close friends. Until Derek found us in bed together.
Webber (To Derek): You put your weight behind it?
Derek: Yes sir.
Webber: Well, alright then.
So exciting!!! Webber is funny shit!!

Mark: Derek and I always did have the same taste in women.
Meredith: Excuse me?
Mark: You're Derek's lusty intern, right? Heard about you all the way back in New York you're famous.
Meredith: Hmm, well I heard about you all the way here in Seattle so I guess we have a lot in common.
Mark: We're the dirty mistresses.
Meredith: I suppose we are.
Mark: My 400 dollar an hour shrink says that because behind this rugged and confident extierior, I'm self destruction and self loathing to an almost pathological degree.
Meredith: Hey, we do have a lot in common.
Mark: You know it's funny, Derek---Derek walks in on me naked with his wife actually in the throes. And he just turns around and walks away, but he sees me so much as talking to you and I'm on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don't you think?
SERIOUSLY?!! Mark is so poor thing!! He loves Addie so much!! :(

Burke: I am Preston Burke, a widely reknowned cardiao-thoraxic surgeon. I am a professional and more than that, I am a good and kind person. I am a person that cleans up behind myself. I am a person that cooks well. And you, you are an unbelievable slob. A slovenly, angry intern. I am Preston Burke. And you, you are the most competitive, most guarded, most challenging person I have ever met. And I love you.
So sweet!!! And did I mention that I think that they are such a cuute couple? hahaha.

George (To Meredith): I know I'm not a world reknowned surgeon and I know I'm not alot of things you've gone for in the past. But I would never leave you, I would never hurt you, and I will never stop loving you.
(Meredith pulls his shirt over his head and doesn't say anything)
George is so into Meredith, it's sad. Cos he's so sweet and yeah, but she'll never love him back.

Joe: Dude, is she knitting?
Derek: You know, as a friend, I gotta tell ya. You look a little weird.
Meredith: I am making a sweater.
Joe: You're knitting, in a bar. You cant knit in a bar you're scaring the customers.
Derek: Come on, have a drink.
Meredith: I can’t have a drink, I’m celibate.
Joe: You mean sober? She means sober.
Meredith: No, celibate. I’m practicing celibacy and drinking does not go well with celibacy, because it makes everything and everyone seem kinda porny, and then my head gets cloudy and the next thing you know, I’m naked. And my point is that I’m celibate and knitting is good for surgical dexterity so I’m making a sweater.
Derek: You celibate? I just don’t buy it.
Meredith: No more men.
(Addison walks up)
Addison: No more men? Really? You? (Derek gives her a look) I’m--I’m asking we’re friends.
Meredith: Every guy I meet turns out to be married.
Derek (Makes face): Ooh! Ouch.
Meredith: Sorry. Or Mark.
Addison: Okay, I’m gonna go over there now. (walks away)
Meredith: Sorry. Or remember the horrible thing I did? Remember George?
Derek: You’re making a sweater.
Meredith: I am making a sweater.
ROFLMAO!!! I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!! :DDDD

Finn: So you and Derek uh...are you together?
Meredith: Uh...D-Derek and I are um, just friends. He's married and I am knitting a sweater. And uh...well, I guess I'm rambling which I tend to do a lot lately and I just wish that someone would just tell me to shut up. But my point is uh...wer--were uh, he's married and I'm knitting...a sweater.
Finn: So, you're single?
Meredith: Single?
Finn: I asked because I was wondering if you would like to go out with me?
Meredith: Out, with you?
Finn: On a date. Tonight.
Meredith: Date? Tonight?
Finn: And you're repeating everything I say so you can buy yourself sometime and figure out a way to let me down easy. It's okay, you know, I get--
Meredith: No. I-I-I um... you know you're very...It's just that if I were, you would (cringes)...Not dating.
HAHAH!! Finn is so cute and hot and later he's super sweet!!!

Meredith: Hi.
Derek (puts the paper away): Hi. You leaving?
Meredith: 80 hour limit. You?
Derek: Surgery was postponed.
(It looks like he’s checking her out. He can’t stop smiling or looking at her. Meredith looks over at him)
Meredith: I have a dog.
Derek (smiles): You have a dog.
Meredith: My point is I have a dog.
Derek (full on grinning now): You have a dog. Oh you know what? I love dogs.
Meredith: I’ve moved on so don’t give me that look.
(He moves from his position against the wall and stands up close to her)
Derek: What look?
Meredith: That look. Our look. I’m over you.
Derek: I’m over you too.
Meredith: You are?
Derek (shakes his head smiling): No.
Meredith (matter of factly): Oh, well I am. Over you.
Derek: I’m over you too.
Meredith: You just said … (He raises his eyebrows at her) Shut up.
(The doors open and they are both smiling at each other until they see who is standing in front of the door. Addison. Who is by the way not looking very happy)

(As Meredith hugs Finn and keeps dancing with her head on his shoulder. Sees Derek staring at her over Addison’s shoulder)
Finn: You alright?
Meredith: Yeah, I'm just hot, and ah, claustrophobic.
Derek (To Addison): You know what? There's a patient I forgot to check on.
Meredith: You know, I'm just gonna run and splash some cold water on my face.
Derek: I'll be right back, okay?
Meredith: I'll be right back, okay?
(Meredith running down a hall in the hospital)
Derek: Meredith.
Meredith: Leave me alone.
Derek: Meredith.
(Meredith and Derek in a hospital room)
Meredith: Just leave me alone.
Derek: I just want to make sure you're alright.
Meredith: No! I'm not alright? Okay? Are you satisfied? I'm not alright. Because you have a wife, and you call me a whore, and our dog died, and now you're looking at me again. Stop looking at me.
Derek: I am not looking at you. I am not looking at you.
Meredith: You are looking at me. And you watch me. And Finn has plans. And I like Finn. He's perfect for me, and I'm really trying here to be happy, and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't breathe with you looking at me like that so just stop!
Derek: You think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at my wife? I'm married. I have responsibilities. She, she doesn't drive me crazy. She doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal. She doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about my veterinarian touching her with his hands. Man, I would give anything to not be looking at you.
(Long pause. Meredith turns around and looks at Derek. Derek grabs Meredith's head and kisses her. And then they have sex)
Derek: What does this mean?
Meredith: Uh, I had panties on, black. Do you see them?
Derek: What does this mean?
Meredith: And fix your tie.
Derek: Meredith, what does this mean?
Callie (opening the door): Oh, the nurse told me to come find you. You have to come now, its Izzie. Wait, wait. (stops Meredith and ties the back of her dress and gives Derek a mean look)

Denny: What? You like your men sick and feeble? You don't dig healthy guys?
Izzie: I dig you.
Denny: Then why are you all swirly and twitchy?
Izzie: No I'm not.
Denny: It's 'cause I asked you to marry me.
Izzie: So you remember that?
Denny: Its not the kind of thing I'd forget.
Izzie: Yeah. Denny, um, I'm giving you an out.
Denny: Excuse me?
Izzie: Well, I'm giving you an out. You thought you were dying and I was saving your life and well, you know, it was so (gasp). We can't get married. I mean that would be insane. We should date, and have sex. Plenty of sex. You know when your heart gets better and you're out of the hospital, all the sex you can handle. But marriage is, um, marriage.
Denny: Ok, it's my turn now.
Izzie: But I need to...
Denny: No no no, we’re taking turns. I've decided. It’s polite and it keeps me from yelling. When it’s your turn again, you can talk. For 5 years, I've had to live by the choices of my doctors. The guys that cut me open decided my life; there wasn’t one choice that was mine. And now, I have this heart that beats and works. I get to be like everybody else. I get to make my own decisions, have my own life, do whatever the damn hell I choose. Now here’s the good part, so you listen close. What I choose, is you. You’re who I wanna wake up with, and go to bed with, and do everything in between with. I get a choice now. I get to choose. I choose you Izzie Stevens. Ok, it’s your turn again.
AWW MAN!! Denny is so sweet!!! HOW COULD HE DIE??!?!?!?!

Meredith: I never should have told you about George.
Derek: No, its fine, I'm glad I know about him, and the vet. You really get around.
Meredith: What did you just say to me?
Derek: It's unforgivable.
Meredith: I don't remember ever asking you to forgive me.
Derek: So was the knitting a phase? Who's next? Alex? 'Cause I hear he likes to sleep around. You two have that in common.
Meredith (she grabs him as he turns to walk off): You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared, because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore.
Derek: This thing with us is finished. It's over.
Meredith: Finally.
Derek: Yeah, it's done.
Meredith: It is done.
Aww man. It sucks, the way they each other so damn much. Honestly, at this point of time, you hate Derek. Cos what Meredith says is true. Derek has no right, and by staying with Addison, he's hurting both her and Meredith. It's sad. Cos he's so freaking jealous, thinking Meredith slept with Finn, but truth is, she didnt. She just loves Derek too much to do that again. I guess karma really is a bitch. And, this show just rocks my socks!!! DVDs please!!! :DD HAHA.

If you're not near me, I feel as if a part of me is gone

2006-05-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

Jean Grey/Phoenix: You would die for them?
Wolverine/Logan: No, not for them.. for you.. for you. I love you. (ejects claws and kills her, letting out a sorrowful cry of outrage)
AHHH!!! So sad!!
Storm: Why are you doing this??!!
Wolverine: Because I love her!!
Yes people, I watched X men 3 with Jac and Cheryl.
And I'm watching it again tommorrow with Elaine.
And on Tuesday with Lin and Debbie. AHA.
It's not GREAT GREAT, but it's really nice.
Although the ending's pretty dissappointing, and Jean is so sad, and Scott.
But I think the one my heart really goes out to is Wolverine.
Yeah. He loved Jean so much, but he has to kill her.
Ahh..! I feel so sad for him.
Haha. Maybe because he's Hugh Jackman.
Yeah, I'm partial to him.
But I think in this mvie he's waaaayy too hairy..
So hairy, it's SCARY. HAHA.
But OOH OOH!!! Guess who's in the movie?!
MARK!!! MARK!! Eric Dane!!! As in Mark aka Mc Steamy from Grey's Anatomy!!
Yes!! The hottie!! AND the best thing is that there's lots of him!!
HAHA. Yeah! He's multiple man!! :D!!
(After all of him merging into one after tricking the army that the army of mutants is gathered and finding himself surrounded with guns all pointing at him)
Multiple Man: Whoa whoa officer!! Okay, I give up!
AHA. He's damn hot!!!
It's damn sad for Mark in Greys!!
Oh wells. Life stinks.
Karma's a bitch! AHA.
There are some movies I'm so gonna watch!!
Just my luck! The guy is like major eye candy aha!!
AND yes!! Of course She's the man!!
Oh yeah midnight movies here I come!!
Oh ckeck out this webby: http://www.x-menthelaststand.com

Sorry, but I'm multi tasking and reading the writer's blog for Grey's and..
DENNY DIES!!! LIKE ARGHHHH!!!!!
LIKE DENNY CANT DIE!!!
HE'S TOO DAMN SWEET AND NICE AND HE'S MR PERFECT TO IZZIE,
AND IZZIE LOVES HIM SO MUCH AND HE LOVES IZZIE SO MUCH..
THEIR DIRTY SCRABBLE, AND HIS HUMOUR AND.. AND..
DENNY CANT DIE!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!! CRIES!!!
HOW COULD THEY DO THIS?!?!?!?!
okay. breathe.
Oh yes!! Derek grabs Meredith and kisses her!! FINALLY!! :DDD!!!
Oh man!! DENNY!!! Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Yeah.
He's not hot hot, but he's so charming and sweet!!
NO!!! DONT DIE!!!! Izzie will so kill herself.
Oh man!! There are so many people I love on the show.
Derek and Mer, Burke is so adorable with Christina, and so damn sweet!
Bailey is the funiest shit! Denny is like WHOA!! Mr Perfect.
Finn aka Chris O Donell is so hot and sweet!! And Mark is damn hot!! And such a tragic guy.
It's a bummer Eric Dane's married.
Haha.

Hmm. Yeah so on Friday I ate lunch with Jacq and Cheryl, and yeah. X men 3.
After that I went down to church. Yeah.
Cell group was pretty great. Youth cell.
Let's see how long this one lasts.
Sabrina liked the earings I chose. :D hahaha.
Everyone was saying it was very nice. I was like of course. HAHA.
I had such a bad migrain.

Church today was cool.
Hahaha. I went to spoil it for Bird bird and told her all the important things of X3.
I described the scene he killed Jean grey. SAD!
But you realise there's a fault. Cos when she first start using her power, his clothes keeps ripping off. nearer he goes, more clothes comes off. HAHAHA.
Until it reaches his pants. Then nothing more rips off. HAHA.
The twins were adorable.
Worship was powerful and awesome.
His presence was so tangible.
The message was overwhelming, makes you really sit up.
HAHA. Joshua kept on saying " Uncle no cry! "
ELAINE!!! Shua-shua Man!! And Lebby Man!! HAHAH!
Sensitive dude.
The tiramisu was great, and the island creamery ice cream. Yeah!!
HAHAA

I'm gonna pack my hols with activities.
Did I mention I failed 3 subjects in the end?
AND!! I actually got an A1 for Biology!!!
DANG!! I was looking at my paper, then I saw my MCQ, 35.
Then I turned and looked, Section A:34.
I was like eh!!?
Dammit. I didnt check properly, and then it was too late.
So annoying!!!!
My L1 R4's pretty great. 18.
Yeah. Minus 9 more points at least for Os. MUG MUG!!!

Friday we're gonna meet Esther for dinner!!! :DD
http://www.imdb.com

Hmm. I read The Lady in question by Victoria Alexandra
Let's say 3.5/5?
Yeah.
It's really sweet, but a bit slow moving.
Okay. Adios!
Off to Grey's for me!! :DD

Being held by him was never the problem. It was the letting go that hurt.

2006-05-22T19:32:00.000+08:00

Hey.
Okay. So what could I say?
McYeah. My results SUCKED. BIG TIME.
I didnt get my A1 for my biology. I got 74.
Like 1 mark away from my A. ONE!!!?!
So yeah. As you can guess, I was pretty upset.
I failed 4 subjects.
And I am so dead. Mom's so gonna kill me.
All (with the execption of Accounts [ungraded]) were forty somethings.
Which is really just great. Like GREAT.
Like really frustrating.
I got 41 for Chinese, 48 for Humans, 42 for Math.
Math across board was done real bad. Chinese too. They were like really strict this time.
Hmm. Yeah.
Self training sucked.

On Monday it was school, and like overload of Chinese lessons.
Like OMG! Chinese Os are next Monday!! DIE!!!!
Uh huh. Dead. I think I gotta pass Chinese at least to get into Mass Comm.
You know what I think would be a pretty cool career?
Brain surgeon. Heart surgeon.
Like fixing the very organ that runs the whole body.
Controls emotions. McYeah!
HAHA. I think maybe that's what happens when you watch too much of Greys.
Then again, maybe not. Cos it sure aint happening to my sisters. But yeah. It's cool.
After school it was Over the hedge with Lin, Lyanne, Elmo and Li wei.
It was funny man. HAHA. And cute. Worth the 7 bucks.
"I'm gonna gas you so bad, you're grandchildren's gonna stink!!"
HAHAHA. And when he drank the caffeine. Dude. THAT was funny.
I ate a cheese hot dog which exploded in my face like seriously.
I bit into it and BOOM! The cheese splatters in my face.
The woman couldnt stop laughing. AHAH.

I didnt go to school the next day.
Yeah. Stayed home, slept till like 11.
Read my book, watched King Arthur, and I cant remember what I did.
Yeah.

Wednesday.Hmm. School was boring.
The talk was pretty cool. Yeah.
The Micahel Jordan thing. AHA.
Jo Phang and Shankar wanted me to give a talk to the Sec 2s bout Literature. No thanks.
Met Bel in town.
Ate Pasta. Corissa. HAHA. SALT!
Tong was late as usual.
We talked bout stuff, and they walked me to PS to meet Gail.
This Amercan guy burped right into my ear.
ROFLMAO!! Haha.
Bought a pair of earing for Aunty Joyce's birthday.
Walked around, checked out Fox and lots of stuff.
Went Carrefour and bought sushi.
Something really embarrassing happened which I'm not gonna say. AHA
The Daniel look alike. AHA.

Watched episode 25 of Grey's.
BIG MISTAKE!!!!! We didnt have 26 and 25 was left hanging in the air!!
Izzy cuts of Denny's support to help his condition get worse so he can get the heart,
She thought that Burke was reaching,
BUT! When Burke arrives, he gets shot outside the hospital!! ARGHH!!!!
Derek's really upset bout Meredith and Finn.
Honestly, he's quite a jerk.
He chose Addison over her. He has no right to judge her if she dates someone else!!
"You have no right to say how I fix something of mine that you broke"
ARGHH! How sad is that.
And it's annoying cos he's hurting both Addison and Meredith in the process.
"Derek's in love with Meredith. And the only people who dont know that, is themselves. How am i supposed to compete with that?"
At that point, you really really feel so sad for Addison.
And also Denny is so sweet to Izzie!!
The Finn and Meredith thing is sad.
Cos Finn is so into her, and Meredith still loves Derek!!
(After he tells her Doc's gonna die)
Finn: I'm sorry, I know how much you love him.
Meredith: Yeah. I do.
AND it's like ARGHH! Cos Finn's talking bout Doc and she's talking bout Derek.
It's sad. It really is.
And another person is Mark.
He loves Addison! And he's so sad!!
Mark: How come you forgave her, and you cant forgive me?
Derek: I didnt forgive her, and with you I'm not obliged to try.
In Joe's it's like he waits for Addison to show up,
And he talks to Meredith.
Meredith: You're still in love with her.
Mark: What? You're still in love with him.
AND!
Meredith: She's not gonna show you know. ( Remember how she waited for Derek?) He's not the kind of guy you'll leave if you can help it. ARGHH!!
It's so sad! I like Mark!! He's hot and funny, he's McSteamy!!
And yeah, he loves her so much. They should be together! Then Derek and Meredith could get together.
BUT then what bout Finn??!! ARGHH!! There are too many nice, hot, sweet guys!!
TOO many love triangles!!
But I love Grey's Anatomy anyhow!! :DD!

Hmm. Let me see what books I read.
Silver Lion by Lynn Kerstan.
It's okay. Let's say 3/5
Yeah. Today's quote was from there.

Bridget by Linda Lael Miller.
It's nice. But I figured it really is kinda short. Yeah.
3.5/5
There's lots of stuff that could have been added in.
But it's another childhood love thing.
But she ended up marrying his best friend.
"He'd have cut his heart out of his chest and handed it to her if she'd ask it of him"
Yeah. It's sweet.

Valentine Legacy by Catherine Coulter
This was a bit too draggy. 3/5
And it's not very stimulating. Not impactful. Yeah.

I read Riley in the Morning by Sandra Brown.
I'll say it is like the best book ever!! 5/5!!
Hey! Come on. I've read the book 5 times, and it still moved me.
It's so sweet, heart wrenching. It's just awesome!!!
"Why would I want another woman Brin, when I had you? Why would I even look for another woman when I had loved the best?"
"But life just wasnt fun anymore. You'd taken all the color with you. Everything was gray. From time to time I'd forget what happened and I'd turn to you to share a comment bout a book, tv, a flavour of ice cream. Only you werent there Brin, and I'd lose all pleasure in it."
Home is where the heart is. "Home? I dont have a home. I have a hous that used to be a home, when I shared it with you. When I shared it with my wife!"
Oh man. This book is just awesome. Can I keep it? HAHA.
I think Riley's so cute. HAHAHA. "I sent her two dozen roses later by means of apology."
(He called a woman FAT!!) And then he crossed his arms and slouched in the seat and looked like a little boy who was settling down for a long pout. HAHA.
"Whash a matter?"
"You're drunk!!"
"Jush a teeny weeny bit whoozy from a losh of blood."
AHA. So cute. Hahaha.

Glorious angel by Johanna Lindsey.
This book is good. 3.7/5?
Yeah. It's sweet, and funny.
But I think more can be improved by showing more of Bradford's feelings.
Yeah. Like how he felt and his jealousy.
It's a really sweet book.

There's youth cell tommorrow.
X men 3 is out!!! Gonna watch!! :DD

How would he ever open his eyes in the morning if he knew it wouldnt be to see her lying next to him?

2006-05-18T16:49:00.000+08:00

Howdy.
So on Friday I went over to the Phua's house and baked for Mother's Day.
Hahahaa. Yeah. It was pretty fun.
The boys came over too,
But Caleb was in one of HIS moods again.
So yeah.
But they were so adorable with the hamster!! HAHAHA.
When I went back with them to get milk and the baking paper,
Joshua wanted me to bathe him.
So I helped him, but left and he ran out like to the gate to where I was like stark naked!!
HAHAHHA. I was like shocked!! HAHAHA.
Well, after baking and all,
SUPRISE!! We walked over to Elaine's and yeah, stayed over.
The boys were super :D
But sadly, they were sick.
You feel so sad for them.
Yeah. Joshua had a fever of 39.6,
Caleb's was 38.8, and Noah's was 37.8.
Yeah. Even Elaine wa sick.
Joshua woke me up in the middle of the night so cute.
And they wanted to sleep next to me,
But Ken canned them.
Caleb went back to his bed,
But Joshie stayed and whined. HAHAHA.
Then when Elaine came he was like "Sleep with Jie jie Anna!!"
Elaine was like "Okay."
Then he pouted and said "But papa beat Shua Shua!!"
HAHAHA! LOL!!

Yeah. Church next day.
Met Phua at Queenstown and walked to church.
Church was alright.
Oh guys,
Daniel's back.
With long hair this time, looking like Shaggy dog/The guy from Scooby Doo.
HAHA. YAY!! Going to watch Poseidon with Robin on Sat!! :DD

Hmm. The exams were alright.
Biology!! I'm so pissed cos I made such STUPID mistakes!!
RARRRR!! I'll kill myself if I dont get my A1.
HAHAHA. Question number 24!! LOL!
After that, went to town with Gwen, Andrea and Val.
Took neos. We met Zhi Yi and Mel.
Yeah. SHAKE YOUR COCCONUTS!! :DD!!
Hahahaha.
The Chem and Phy MCQ was pretty tough man.
Yeah. Gonna die with Geraldine!! HAHAHA.
Should have went biking with them today.
Rarr. Was actually supposed to go town today.
But I was too lazy.
Cos Kim wasnt going and neither was Chong.
Oh. Yesterday I went steamboat with Big gwen.
It was good, and I was like soooo full.
Hmm. Got back Englsih and Chinese.
I got my A1 for English!! I'm so happy!
79!! :D Top in the level okay :D
HHAHA. People were like congratulating me.
Juli, Bathu, Geraldine, Nicole. hahaha.
Yeah. And Mabel and Jia Rui hates me for getting top.
Haha. They were complaining to Steph.
I thought I may have went out of point for my essay.
But apparently I didnt!! I got 26/30!! YAY YAY!!
I think Jo Phang was the one who marked it.
It was her handwriting.
I'm so proud of myself! :D
One subject down!! Next BIO!!!
Mass Comm here I come!!
The funnny thing is that Corissa was also top for 5NA.
Jo Phang was like " And the top for NA, 67, Corissa Wong! "
And everyone was STUNNED.
Then you could here Ying min say super loudly "OH MY GOD!"
HAHAHA. ROFLMAO! Unbelievable.
BUT. I failed my Chinese.
They were really strict with marking this time.
DAMN! I got like 35/100.
Shucks. Gotta at least pass to get into Mass Comm.
Fishing with Kwan and Alicia!! :D Cant wait! AHA.
And tanning too!
I'm getting really white.
The books I read:

Someone to love.
I cant remember the author's name.
It was sweet, but not like very impactful. 3.5/5
But it was pretty funny.
It's bout Abby, whose husband died climbing out of another woman's window.
HAHA. And Kipp.
Who apparently thinks he loves loves his childhood friend Merry.
BUT!! She doesnt love him back,
and marries his other childhood friend Jack.
He wants to get married before they return so they wont know he's nursing a broken heart.
Yeah.Abby tries to matchmake him with her neice.
But of course, they get married in a marraige of convenience.
"How would he ever open his eyes in the morning if he knew it wouldnt be to see her lying next to him?"

The message by Stella Cameron.
This was like okay. 3/5
Nice. But not impactful either.
Not like Whitney my love, Sned no flowers, Kingdom of Dreams, Douuble standards,
And I think I'm getting carried away.
HAHAHA.

Defy not the heart by Johanna Lindsey
This I like.
Funny, witty, and sweet.4/5.

Missing Molly by Janice Kay Johnson
AH. 4.5/5!!
This is a heart wrenching story,
Bout wrong descisions,
Even ones made 12 years ago.
You see, Nora and Molly were best friends as kids, grew up together.
And yeah. Each other's families were like their own and so on so forth.
Nora has this huge crush on Molly's older brother, Rob.
And apparently, Rob has this crush on her too.
They get together, yadder yadder.
BUT! Molly and Nora get drunk after their grad party and Nora drives,
And they get into a car accident and Molly dies.
Nora was bright, brilliant, full scholarship to Stanford.
But cos of this, her future is ruined.
Yeah. And Rob who already told her he loves her,
Goes up to her and says, " You know how much I love my sister. You killed her."
She's devastated of course.
And Molly's mom hates her.
Now after running away from her past,
Nora's back after 12 years,
AND IT"S REALLY SWEET!!
"Yes! He had a date with his teenage sweetheart!!"
"I would have waited for you.."
"I need you to love me.."
"Just know that.. I've been incomplete without you.."
AWW!!!

Cordinia's Crown Jewel by Nora Roberts
This was okay. Nice. let's say 3.5/5.

I think if everything fails,
I can be a book critic.
HAHA.

Grey's Anatomy.
This is for Lin.
So many things I love bout it.
Everything is so real.
You find you can relate to it.
Cos you dont have to be superman, or this evil villian.
You just have to be human to understand what they're going through.
You see,
The characters are so painfully imperfect,
BUT beautifully so..
And despite all their imperfections, they have people who love them.
Meredtih the "dirty mistress" who's always getting drunk and ends up in bed with all the wrong people,
Like the married guy Derek. her freind who has a huge crush on her, George, and the guy whose pennis she breaks.
But again, despite all those imperfections,
She is loved.
By Derek, Finn.
That's the beauty of it all.
For now,
This is just one of the reasons I love Grey's so much!! :DD

Whatever happened to the scribbled notes in which we teased each other.
The times we would just get down and laugh out loud,
Shove each other at APNNs and beg for mercy and peace later?
Whatever happened to reminiscing th past together,
OBS and all,
The planned gatherings and "HELP HELP!! The pillar is falling!!"
Am I the only one who remembers it all?
Or was it all just a fiction of my imagination?
The pure stupid stunts we pulled just for laughs
"Can I have 7 happy meals please?"
What happened to the promises of being and staying friends?
They seem to have faded,
Becoming not more than fond memories.
I cant seem to remember,
It all seems so long ago..

Owner of a Lonely heart

2006-05-11T18:54:00.000+08:00

Howdy.
I cant really remember this week cos it has been a blur for me.
Full of last minute studying, of cramming.
And the real amazing thing is that He really has been guiding me.
Even though I really didnt deserve it, His guidance, I got it.
Everytime without fail when I sat down and whipped out my books,
I would turn to a certain chapter, a certain topic.
And each time when I sit down for the paper, it would be there staring at me.
It's pretty amazing.

So it has been harbour front, reading and all.
Cant really remember.
Hahaha. That day I was going on and on bout Grey's and trout.
And apparently my sister had enough.
HAHAH. So she turned to me and said " Anna, enough is enough. "
And at first we just stopped.
Then we couldnt stop laughing.
ROFLMAO!!!
HAHA. In case you dont know,
"Enough is enough" is a title of one of the episodes in season 2 of Grey's.
Hah. Yeah that was pretty amusing.
I was pretty high that day. It was Wednesday if I'm not wrong.

Hmm. I watched Mission Impossible 3 on that day too.
It was good. Funny shit. Better than MI2.
The funny thing was the quotes.
Haha. "Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.. "
ROFLMAO!!! I couldnt stop laughing!! Me and Steph were like KEN!!!
Hahaha. That's the thing bout watching movies with people you've know like all your lives.
You get a kick outta it cos you guys get inside jokes.
Like from Mr and Mrs Smith. " Come to daddy! Who's the daddy now?! "
THAT got me. Hahaha. And all of us.
I loved the car!! It was SWEET!!
But as usual, they had to blow it up.
The funny thing was that when Ethan was supposed to have died, and Julia pounds on his chest for Pete's sake, (like the scene in Lost between Jack and the Rock God guy, and from Grey's the scene between Derek and Bailey's husband)
HAHA. And I went "He's so gonna gasp."
And sure enough, me and Tom cruise GASPED at the exact same moment.
It was pretty funny.
The guy from bend it like Beckham.
Oh yeah man. HE'S HOT!!
HAHA.
( Due to lack of gadgets, they rain baseballs on the roof to distract the bad guys) " OH YEAH! They're freaking out. HIT THEM AGAIN!!" HAHAHA.
(Ethan escapes, using the walkie talkie posing as the top guy. After using the walkie talkie, he leaves it on, next to a stereo blasting: )
" We are family!! Father, brother sister and me! "
The music blasts into the entire system.
The top guy says: " Tell me this is not happening. "
HAHAHA. That was funny!!
(During the imprompto wedding ceremony)
Father: Do you have the rings?
(Ethan and Julia smile)
Ethan: Yeah, we do.
(Proceeds to take out two plastic rings, one with a cartoon frog, and the other with a panda)
ROFLMAO!!! HAHAHA.
(At the end)
Julia: Maybe you could tell me what we're doing here in Shanghai.
(Ethan appears to consider it)
Ethan: I'm part of an organization called the IMF.
Julia: What does that stand for?
Ethan: Impossible Mission Force.
Julia: Haha. You're funny.
Oh and one of my favourites!!
The black guy: So you and her, there wasnt anything between you two?
(Glares at him)
Ethan: She was like my little sister.
The black guy: And uhmm.. you dont sleep with your little sister or something did you?
HAHAH! Hilarious!!

The books I read so far were: " Once a Princess" and "Love only once" by Johanna Lindsey.
"Love only Once" was hilariously funny.
"Once a princess" was nice. Really sweet and nice.
One of her best books.
Sad cos Stephan's so haunted by his scars and yeah.
Cant imagine anyone loving him for who he truly is instead of his money and position.
It's really nice.
"Temptation" by Nora Roberts was pretty good too. HAHA.
Mr Macho man!!" Couldnt stop laughing!!
And last but certainly not the least, " Summer Light " by Luanne Rice.
It's a really great book.
And one of the best things, is that it's not the kind of book in which at the end, everything is miraculously great.
In this book, he really does go blind in the end.
Tragic, that a NHL star, never got to fufill his own dream of winning the Stanley Cup.
But amazing cos his teammates do it for him.
Tragic that he loses his sight,
But great that he lives with it, and a stronger love grows.
The story of his daughter is tragic.
But it's so beautiful the way he heals, and can love again, be a father again.
Touching. A tear inducer.
"It's grass. Not witch hair. It's grass.. it's.. it's WITCH HAIR!!! ARGGHH!"
HAHAHAH! Hilarious.
"Only God saves more than Nils Jorgenson"
"The puck stops here."
Cool shit. Hahahha. Yeah.

Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Cos it feels so damn good when I stop.

2006-05-07T14:25:00.000+08:00

Howdy. What have I been doing? I cant seem to remember. I read "A Virtuous Lady" by Elizabeth Thornton. I just know that I love Grey's Anatomy!! :DDD Seriously!! I just cant wait!!! Blues for sister someone. Oh yeah!! :DD Hmm. Let's see shall we? Friday. The paper was Chinese. It was alright I guess. I pretty much re-copied the whole passage into the blanks. HAHAH! Yeah. After that I went to the library to borrow and return books with Lin , Kim and my sister. I was carrying like this whole bag of books. HAHA. I think I'm addicted. Like seriously. I had this theory that my clone came before me to the library and took ALL the Judith McNaught and Sandra Brown books. Like seriously!! There wasnt a single one! And the only ones there were, were the ones I've already read. I borrowed Riley In the Morning again. This time, we borrowed 27 books. Oh my GOSH!!! 27!!?? I didnt realise until now. Thats NUTS. Hahaha. Like seriously!!? We went to eat after that. KFC. There were like WEIRD people. And that smell!! UGHH!! Went down to church after that. Home cell and all. Yeah. Saturday. What else but church? Haha. The twins were adorable. Withdrawal symptons form their pacifiers. Elaine's black eye. HAHAHAH!!! Hilarious!! Stupid Jaren. Cos my top has this two strings, I didnt tie them cos it would have my top shorter. He kept on tying them to the chair?! AHAHA. So everytime I got up the chair would jerk along with me? ASSHOLE. Ken couldnt stop laughing. Idiot. Haha. TWICE! It happened twice!! HAHHAA. I think the story Elaine told me bout Joshie's shit was hilarious!! HAHAHA. SERIOUSLY!!!? And the lizard in the tamberine room. HAHAHA! And when Andrea took off her shirt and Caleb pointed to her tummy really shocked and shouted: "OH!!" HAHAHAH!! Hungry Ghost Club re-unite. HAHA. Joshie was so cute. I wanted to go for prayer, and he refused to let me go? He started crying? I was like AWW SHUCKS!! I was like "Mommy carry?" and he went "NO!!" and started crying. Of course when Elaine came he eventually went over. And during dinner he tried feeding me. HAHA. He was dammit cute. Cos we were eating bubble gum, you so should have seen Caleb's face when Jehian's bubble blew into his face. CLASSIC!! Haha. And Joshua's face when he burst Jacque's bubble and there was gum all over his hand!! HAHA! He was so digusted!!Seriously!? It was hilarious cos Jarren kept trying to bully me. So he just turned around and said: (Coming from a 2 year old this is hilarious. Plus he was so serious!!) "STOP IT! Uncle Michael is there AH!!"HAHAHAHAHAH!! I couldnt stop laughing!! He was so protective. SO funny!!! And cos we set up like a bouncing castle for them made of pillows! And i thought them how to run and jump. Oh man!! Their dance moves. Their WWE moves. Their kung fu poses. CLASSIC. And the way they grab each other's toes out from their hiding places. Oh man. What do we do without them? Aha. My favourite was when we started playing BANG BANG! with the umbrella. Haha. So Joshie was shooting Steph. And I got into the line of fire. So I "died". HAHAHAHA. So Joshua came over to my dead body and started mourning my death!! He was like wailing!! "NO!! NO!!!" CLASSIC!!! HAHAHA. Like seriously! The dude's 2!!!! Caleb started using me as a playground and he was like "Gor gor!!! NO!!!" Hahaha. Reminded me of the time there was the drawings of two kids , and Caleb named one as Jie Jie Rebbecca and the one was me, Jie Jie Anna. Joshua snatched it from him and my "head" ripped off. HAHAHA. And Caleb went " Jie jie ANNA!! Jie jie ANNA!! " Oh man. HAHA. Love 'em. So much joy brought into my life :D I'd as soon cut out my heart than leave you. It would be the same. You're a part of me. Forever.

Any more steps, and I'm walking away

2006-05-04T18:01:00.000+08:00

I've read "Dirty little lies" and "Words of silk" by Sandra Brown and " When a Texan gambles "

I love the episode of Much too much!! HILARIOUS!!! HAHAHA! And everything else too. Owner of a lonely heart was sad. Real sad. Lonely. ARGHH!! Apparently, Meredith hooks up with this Chris O Donnel guy. Can't wait!! Like finally Meredith can move on a bit. It's really sad seeing her like that. And apparently, Derek asks Addison if she wants to have hot sex. HAHA! And it's sad, cos you realise that Addison is really lonely. The way she looks at him and says " Thank you. " Like seriously, she thanks her husband for asking her if she wants to have sex. It's so sad because Addison thinks Derek does it, trying to make their marraige work, when actually it's cos he thinks that Meredith slept with Chris whose name is Fin by the the way. ( And no, Meredith hasnt slept with him. She's kinda trying out this new thing where she goes slow on the intimacy stuff. So yeah. )She's trying. Everyone's trying. And yeah. I mean i still want the Der/Mer thing to work out but yeah. It's sad to see how Addison is trying so hard to make things work. Ah. Sigh. Like seriously. Can life get any worse than that. Whoa. And not to mention I CANNOT wait for when Marc comes and flirts with Meredith and Derek punches him ( Episode 18 ) And when Derek tells Addison he loves Meredith. AND when he tells Meredith he's not over her. ARGHHH!!!

Maybe it was in my imagination that we used to be friends.
Maybe I was always alone,
Was never a part of anyone.
Owner of a lonely heart.

So yeah. The past few days were the same.
Lonely.
Yesterday I went to harbour with Val, Debbie, Maria and Xin ni.
Just didnt feel right.
Yeah. Starbucks and all.
Then church where we watched Grey's Anatomy.
AWESOME. Like seriously.
There was this seriously great quote,but i cant seem to place it.
Played guitar with Gary.
He worship led.
It was pretty good.

Why is it that when you surrender, I feel like the one who has been conquered?

Okay. So back to today.
Math was alright.
It was pretty great I guess.
Considering what I've been doing during lessons, or rather what I have not been doing, yeah.
I managed to do the paper.
A few questions caught me but yeah.
I'll pass. I think.

Forgive me, I loved you too much..

2006-04-29T17:56:00.000+08:00

DR. SHEPARD: Yeah. … Christmas makes you want to be with people you love. (Addison looks up at this) … I'm not saying this to hurt you or because I want to leave you. Because I don't. (Addison looks confused) Meredith wasn't a fling. (Addison sits back instantly on guard) She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.

Wahahaha. cant wait. it's so sad, so sweet.

I never knew what it was to love untill I loved you.
I never knew what it was like to live until I loved you.
"Last night was the best night of my life.
It was my deepest wish enacted.. I could pretend we were married,
that we had a future together.."

hey.
hmm. i cant remember what happened past few days. hahaha.
yeah. i the books i read was " When love awaits " and " Paradise wild " by Johanna Lindsey.
and i scanned through " Send no flowers " again.
i cant seem to remember what was thursday's book.
i know i studied Biology on thursday.
maybe i didnt read at all.
hmmm. on sunday we had the ba zhang making thing.
it was kinda fun once you get the hang of it.
yeah.
hahaha. me and theresa were going to set up a buisness.
shhe would make the ba zhaangs,
and i would take a bike from uncle paul's shop and cycle around selling it.
hahaha. i hired jacq as our designer and promoter.
by the end of the day,
we were so bored and sick of ba zhangs,
we abandoned the idea.
hahaha.
hey that was after aunty linna's house okay.
when dad said " the ba zhangs are ready! "
everyone started groaning.
hahaha.
we played murderer.
fun! hahaha.
hahahaa. and the matchmaking and the revealing of the littlt secret to theresa.
i think the classic was debbie's "yahoo matchmaking services!!" HAHAH! SERIOUSLY?!
so it was like today i read " Hearts Aflame " by Johanna Lindsey.
yeah. it was good.
Kristen and Royce's story.
it was the story before " Surrender my love " Selig's story.
which was really good too.
except that for all their stories,
including their parents,
they're all slaves of their soon to be spouses.
yeah. havent read the parents' story but i figured it would be good too.
i stayed home.
cos val couldnt make it.
i watched ladder 49 again.
it was so sad!!!
ARGH!!!
" Who knows how many buildings are left standing because Jack was there, how many lives were saved because he was there...
People asked me, " How is that fire fighters can run into a burning building, when everyone is running out?" Jack's courage is the answer to that question.."
ARGH!!! SAD!!!and the red car.and his son.
this show makes you like john travolta.
he's dammit nice.
his boxers!! HAHAH! and the confession thing. like seriously!!

what's life without the Life maker? and when something goes wrong, go to the Master builder. ask Him what's wrong. i think that's something i havent done lately. asking Him was wrong with me. instead of blaming things that happened when i was young, it's time to look inside myself to see what when wrong. i want a new life to start afresh. but it starts from within..

I feel like an outsider. I am no longer a part of the chain i used to be a link in. I feel so damn alone, like no one would even know if i never came back. I am all alone.

Why do i want you more than my next breath? -Bittersweet Rain-

I love you more than yesterday, less than tommorrow

2006-04-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

forgive me, i loved you too much.. yeah. school today was fine. double english. i actually listened. i think. oh yeah. and so did i during math. i am proud of myself. i got back my biology test. i got 16/30. barely passed. i'm annoyed. should have studied. what the hell am i doing with my life? newsflash: i dont know where i wanna go, what i wanna do. the only place, only future i know is in your arms. and now that you're gone. where do i belong? during recess i went to watch them play badminton. it was pretty amusing yeah. hahaha. maria and xin ni are damn good. like seriously. double literature. she had a really short fuse today. her temper was like WHOA! like seriously "smelly face" HAHAH! hahahah. yeah. forward.

hmm. today's book was " Send no flowers " by Sandra Brown.

really good.

sad. tragic, but happy ending :D biology practical was okay. shermin is seriously damn dumb. hahha. they gave the bodily fuids and she didnt use it. pancreatic juice. WHAT THE HELL? like seriously!!! HAHAH. training was okay. like what 8 people? geee. did good defense and attack though. i think. i managed to drive past pat twice!!! :D!!! yeah. amy's going OBS. not fair. i miss OBS!! i miss bibi. i miss the closeness all of us shared. we're drifting away. i konw it i can feel it. you said "easy, i wont hurt you." but you already did. far more than you can imagine. you said that you love me. but were is this love you speak of? i cant see it, i cant touch it, and i sure as hell cannot feel it. all i can do is here it. and words aint enough. they really arent. so now it's time for me to walk away, clench my fists and wrench my guts out. yeah, cos if your heart's not in it, dont try to fake what you dont feel. if your love's already gone, it's not fair to lead me on, cos i would give the whole world for you, anything you ask of me i'll do. BUT i wont ask you to stay, i'd rather walk away, if your heart's not in it..

hello and goodbye to you

2006-04-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to do

To look you in the eye

And tell you i don't love you

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to lie

To show no emotion

When you start to cry

I can't let you see

What you mean to me

When my hands are tied

And my hearts not free

We're not meant to be

It's the hardest thing

I'll ever have to do

To turn around and walk away

Pretending i don't love you

you mean so much to me that i wish there was a way i could express it in words. i love you so much that i wish i could show you how much. so many ways of saying, of showing, but words seems to fail me, actions seems too small. my life's so empty without you, but everything seems to little, too undeserving of you. so many ways to express this feeling inside of me, but not a single one feels like the right one. so many memories of us, but right now, none of them seems like they'll ever be enough for me. so many people around me, telling me how they'll always be here for me, how much i mean to them, but not one of them fills this emptiness inside of me, cos not one of them is you. cos no matter what they say i know that when i wake up every morning you wont be by my side, i wont see a message from you. i know i wont be hearing your voice or seeing you face, feeling the warmth of our embrace for a very, very long time. and a lot of times this reality hurts. this truth that screams, this reality of 'hello's and knowing that soon, down the road there will have to be a goodbye. no matter how much it hurts, no matter how long it takes to be torn away from me, there will be a goodbye...

There's no denying that you're on my mind every moment of the day

2006-04-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

yeah i wanna go home,

into your arms where i belong.

i wanna tell you how much you mean to me.

i want my very own romance,

my very own lover to hold close for the rest of my life.

i wanna wake up beside you every morning,

knowing that i love you and you love me,

thinking and knowing that love is enough.

i want my very own lover to be able to see my when i'm crying,

my tears flowing down,

my eyes puffy,

nose red,

and basically i look my worst,

i look like crap.

and i want that person that i love so much,

to be able to tell me that i'm beautiful.

and actually mean it.

with all that warmth and love shining in those dazzling eyes.

and there in the curve of that strong beautiful shoulders,

i'll find comfort,

i'll live out my fantasy.

there's something bout seeing a person who just left you walk away,

further and further away,

as the distance grows,

and all that is left is space.

empty, hollow, space..

i dont ever wanna see your back turned back on me,

cos i know i'll miss you like hell.

and if that day ever comes,

when we have to be apart,

i want to be able to see you walk away with calm,

knowing that you'll miss me as much as i miss you.

heya.

school today was alright.

except for morning assembly.

she took so long to come. like seriously.

we stood there for like 15 minutes?

seriously. i just sat down.

hahaha. nicole applauded me.

hahaha. jaey came to me and yeah she was like "EH!! stand up!!"

and she took out her booking book and i was like are you going to book me for sitting down?! hahaha.

when she finally strolled in,

i started clapping.

hahaha. and nicole and eunica joined in.

like hello! she was so late and she strolls in, no apology nothing?! SERIOUSLY!

hmm. english.

we couldnt open the door so yeah.

we wasted quite alot of time :D

hahahaha. i'm such a loafer.

i remember just reading my book.

today was "Sunny Chandler's Return" by Sandra Brown.

i'm such a sucker for romance.

like seriously. hahaha.

hmm. so yeah. math. i finished my book within the 2 periods so i didnt have any to read.

my stash was locked up in class,

so yeah. i actually listened!! he did trigo and bearing today.

we were super late for accounts cos we were released late,

and after that we went to class to sit around and chat then go up to class.

hahaha. so yeah. left 5 minutes or so till recess by the time we got settled down.

i'm such a loner.

i feel like i'm looking in on the circle i once used to a link in.

so yeah. recess. i went looking for her to claim back my book.

she wasnt in school today.

so for once during geography,

i wasnt reading.

she was suprised.

chines was fun.

new class so we got to sit in our own arrangements.

hahaha. guess what?!! i got full marks for mo xie.

and all the rest got 11, 11.5 or so. hahaha. not suprising, considering we all copied.

hahaha. BUT for mock exam i got 20!! higher than all of them. zhi yi and all got like 13 or so.

hahaha. i was second in class okay :D!! like seriously!!!

and they were so annoyed.

hahaha. they were like LAO SI!! she threw dice to chose her answers.

hahaha. seriously. hilarious!!

yeah. clarissa couldnt stop her " PADDLE POP! super duper yummy!! YEAH YEAH!! YO YO!! "

hahahaha. seriously should have seen zhi yi's face. hilarious.

she was trying SOOO hard to ignore her.

especially after she wrote such ugly words on her chinese book so humongously huge.

hahaha. yeah. BREAK!! biology.

she went through important things for practical tommorrow.

practically the whole book like seriously. hahah. after school was nafa. yeah. i did it in pinafore. she told me 45 was an A. stretched like nuts. did 45. in the end, A was a 46 cm. felt so bloody cheated. hahaha. did 14 pull ups. and shuttle run was damn slow cos i was in pinfaore. 10.5. last year i did 9 something. neh neh.

yeah. UH OH! havent started studying. and it's desperate housewives now.

and then.. GREY'S ANATOMY!!!! the best show ever!!!!! :DDD

i love Mer/Der, Christina and Burke are so cuute!! and Dr Bailey is hilarious!!! like seriously!!

" George.. STOP LOOKING AT MY VA JAY JAY!! "

roflmao!!!~

oh one more thing.

aunt and cousins flew off back to new zealand today.

loved the laughs but bye for another year.

hahhhaha. NUTS and TRACING PAPER.

classics. yeah. okay okay goodbye for now!!! :D

He lost his heart to the one woman he could not lay claim to..

2006-04-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

okay. so let me see. Friday. the day was like a blur. i was reading " Words of Silk " by Sandra Brown. yeah good book. but she took it away. neh. chinese was like funny. we were having so much fun before she came in. chen lan qing took over and like yeah. hahaha. the mock exam was like hard. we divided. one person one page then combine answers. hahaha. the bazaar. the water bomb thing was fun. until they stopped us. hahha. i totally drenched nicole from head to toe. hahaha. super funny. and fun. hmm. hung out with chess and gwen and all. then we decided to go to the haunted house. haha. stupid mistake to go with bimbos. hahaha. chess, me, rachel sng, claudia and wan ru. hahaha. while waiting we started the paint fight. i helped soon mei wipe off one whole chunk of paint and GRRR!! she wiped some on me. hahaha. i smeared it all over her and it went into her mouth. super funny. hahaha. and they tried to drench me. the haunted house was funny shit. soon mei was our guide. they were screaming like crazy. hahaa. and i was scaring the ghost. hahaha and i took the head and threw at rachel. she SCREAMED!!! like hilarious. oh yeah. church and all. then saturday was church and then family dinner. i watched someone like you. damn sweet. nice. hugh's hot in it. hahahaha. a picture later. " ray's not the last man you're going to love. " and the part when she was crying and all. looked like shit and he told her she was beautiful. that was damn sweet. i remember sweet november. ARGH!! yeah. hmm. then today i read my book and stuff. "Until you" by Judith Mcnaught. she is a terriffic writer. Whitney my love, Kingdom of dreams. yeah. nothing much. hahaha. tong's brother was really funny. hahaha. yeah. bourne identity http://hjackman.com/

Denial

2006-04-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

denial. it's not just a river in Eygpt. it's a freaking ocean. so how do you keep from drowning in it? hey. so i went to church yesterday night. worship was amazing. like seriously. uh huh. so yeah, we reached home at around 12 plus. i didnt go to school today. which was well, GREAT. woke up at 11 :D felt so damn good. like seriously. haha. and the people in school were just having a break when i had the whole day off. YEAH! so i ate and read, and decided to go down to the clinic with stephenie at around 1. we waited for like 1 hour before we even got called. at least i had my book. today was " White Lion's Lady " by Tina St John. she's a pretty good writer too. " Black Lion's Bride " was good too. really sad and touching. why do i love romance so much? cos i think maybe reading bout it would fill me with the same joy they have. the same sense of completelness and peace when they're in each other's arms. but denial's all that that is. there is no such thing as a happy ending no matter how much i want to deny it. what happens after marraige vows and a few kids later? quarrels. i dont think there ever is such a such thing as happy endings. you see so many of it in movies, in books, but in real life, there's no evidence of it. look at the cruel world. look at us. US. it always comes back to us.. cos it always comes back full circle. and i wanna go home. whhen i'm with you. it feels so right. like i've finally come home. but no. that's just an illusion yeah? yeah. stupid doc took so long. he's like retarded. and so unwilling to help. not like the people in grey's anatomy!! ARGH! i'm obsessed. Patrick Dempsey!! hahaha. Derek is so pitiful. it's so sad and heart wrenching!! RARR!! he CRIES. like seiously!! "If love were enough, she'd still be here with you.." sorry. hahhaa. got a little carried away there. forgive me. haha. but watch the show and you'll understand what i'm feeling!! WHERE ARE THE DVDS?!! LIKE SERIOUSLY?!?! hahaha. i jyst watched 3 episodes straight. ahh! the bliss. hahaha. guess what. i randomly typed PD's name into friendster's search page. hahaha. and found him. amusing hair. like seriously. check it out.

HAHAHA! ROFLMAO!! like seriously man!! hahaha. dude. coolest hair on the planet. hahahaha!! cant get over it. rachel!! buy me the DVDS! hahaha. oh yeah. i realised how much little time i have left. i'm gonna mug. gonna study. make something out of this life. just cos you aint here doesnt mean i'm not gonna carry on. like i've made a fool out of myself over you, i'm not gonna be a greater fool by throwing my life away i swear. he looked at her and his breath came a little faster. she smiledand his heart squeezed a little tighter. forgive me for ever thinking i could live even a moment without you.

may be surrounded by, a million people i, still feel alone.

2006-04-19T17:52:00.000+08:00

why do i keep hitting myself with a hammer?

because it feels so damn good when i stop.

hey yall.

life has been more or less the same.

yeah. past week has been the Feast of Unleavened Bread so yeah.

interestig.

makes you realise how wonderful bread is.

and when all this is over,

i'm getting my ass down to marche and drinking mushroom soup. with EXTRA croutons.

yeah!! haha.

so lots of brushes and quarrels with my mom and family but yeah.

i survived.

i love grey's anatomy.

the show i mean.

it is like the best show ever.

and yesterday's episode of CSI was real good too.

the exams really are not far away.

kinda scary but i want to study but cant seem to get my ass down to it.

i cant rememeber what happened last week.

it has been a blur.

except for baby sitting and swimming with the NGs and TANs on sunday.

yeah.

Tuesday.

hmm. so i was sitting there wishing there jo phang wont be there,

so i could read my book.

yesterday was "You belong to me" by Johanna Lindsey.

i think. yeah.

and guess what?

i stepped into class and tada!

she wasnt there!! WHEE!!

hahaha.

plus we had double period which meant 1 hour 3o minutes of wholesome reading!! :D

yeah.

hahaha.

Wednesday.

we did broad jump for PE. francis took us. hahaha.

he asked what i got last year and Fedora bitch reaad wrongly as 139. hahaha.

francis got a shock.

we cheered xue qing!! hahaha. funny shit.

talked about failure A and failure P. hahaha.

took bebe's money and they tried to rape me.

i seriously never felt so violated in my entire life.

hahaa.

then we played hot and cold.

that guy was simply un-nervingly disgusting.

hahaha.

i can remember who but someone asked " what school are you from? "

hahaha.

and i remember souting out " CRESENT GIRLS!! "

hahaha. dude.

that was so funny.

all the snickers and guffaws.

hahha.

i think bebe made some funny comment bout him too.

cant remember what.

so yeah.

that's about all for today.

ice age 2

2006-04-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

life without you is like a doughnut. with a hole in the middle of my heart. okay. so today was sports day. woke up at 6 and left the house at 6.15. record time. hahaha. sasha bought breakfast for me. yeah. macdonald hotcakes :D helped joseph house. hahaha. it was reallt warm. hung banners and all. it was pretty boring. was the piggy back king. she was like trying so hard. gee. eyeliner and acting cute and all. yucks. oh wells. was supposed to have movie marthon. cabbed down. ate baked rice with marie cheerleaders. yeah. all 19 of us went to watch ice age 2. funny shit. susan was laughing so loudly. hahaha. truth be told i was like really annoyed. i went back after walking around. i was so bummed. i dont know why. watched the passion dvd. it's awesome you know. it still has such a great impact. it's beautiful. i wanna go to one of their conferences. yeah. church next day was pretty much the same yeah. the twins were adorable. noah too. you just wanna pinch his cheeks and hug him! hahaha. kids are great and so adorable. i dont know how people can hurt them. i realise i cant go on friday!!! :( "sid's not my kid. if i had a kid, and that kid had a kid. and that kid had a pet, yeah. THAT would be sid." hahaha. that's suuuper funny. so many movies to watch still. V for vendetta. failure to launch. tristen and isolde. take the lead. X men 3's coming out. i watched cutting edge 2. yeah. ross thomas. his eyes are like gorgeous!! hahaha. cutting edge 2 was good. real good. sweet, nice. what did it feel like? lonely. empty. just cos you aint there.. cos i dont want the world to see me, cos i dont think that they'll understand. and when everything's meant to be broken, i just want you to know who i am.

hello stranger.

2006-04-06T18:55:00.000+08:00

hello stranger. i feel suffocated. i try to take deep breaths, but they arent deep enough. bloody hell. i watched closer. it's one of the best shows cos it makes you cry. and hell. your heart really goes out to him. he loves alice. alice loves him. then he loves anna. anna loves the other guy. anna loves him, he loves anna. alice still loves him. then anna loves the other guy but he still loves anna. then he loves alice, alice loves him. then alice doesnt love him anymore. he loses both women whom he loves so much. WHY??! they should make jude law a happier guy! RARR!! he's so pitiful. i hate that other guy!! maybe i just want to be accepted. to be loved by the people i love. is it so hard? maybe i took too may peopl for granted. and all the peoople that mean so much to me? i dont mean as much to them. my days were boring. yeah. except yesterday. i havent that much fun in a really long time. we met up with josh and esther. hahaha. tracing paper. nuts. gosh. we went queensway, PS then church. hahaha. we cracked up so bad. josh was the worst. he cracked up so bad he got a headache. he couldnt walk the stairs. hahaha. dude. i dont feel like blogging. no one reads anyway. goodbye stranger.

prime is disturbing

2006-03-30T18:41:00.000+08:00

bryan greenberg. yeah. that's the guy in prime. and it's so sweet. he's so sweet in the movie. but the thing is, they arent really together in the end!! arghh!!! what's so hard bout ending the show with them holding hands or kissing!?! "i wish you shelter in a storm, i wish your fires to keep you warm, i wish you well.." rarr. it's so sweet the story line, and you expect them to get together after everything they've been through and overcomed, but NO! WHY?!! they obviously still loved each other! "cos sometimes you love, and you learn, and then you move on.." yeah. i'll get over it. what the fuck is wrong with me now? why do i feel like i've got a whole chunk of me missing? that person is wrong. it's not better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all. since the last time i've updated, i've had lots of things to do. but not one was the thing really want to do. what i've always wanted to do. just hold you close. so it's been library and lots of reading. swimming and movies, dvds, sleepovers and what not. yeah. it was fun. did i mention i have 24 books to read within 14 days? maybe not. haha. hmm. the fun thing on wednesday was having the ngs over for meeting. and yeah. today during biology, mrs leong was teaching hereditery. and she took a set of genes, and she just simply switched it around and that meant a different eye color, and different hair color. and i was thinking. how amazing is that, that for the color of your eyes, of your hair to change all you have to do is to pluck something and place it somewhere else and everything changes. and then it just struck me there and then, isnt that what Yahweh had done? simply touched me and i was changed? simply spoke a word and i live? simply thought it and one died? did He not only have to speak and the world moved? " You spoke the world into motion. " amazing yeah? amazing and so wonderful, so powerful. Whitney, my love by Judith McNaugh was awesome. it had me on the verge of tears. " Owner of wealth so incomrehensible now lay next to the woman he loved, helpless to either help her or regain her. " " They all could not satisfy. Their eyes were not green, nor were their hair the right shade. They were not.. Whitney.." " And in doing so, he lost far more than she. He lost the only thing that ever mattered, that he ever sought to gain. Her. Lying next to him loathing him.." when he realised what he did! gosh that book was amazing. and when he washed her like as if he were a servant because he realised what he did. GOSH. tommorrow is lit on stage. i havent touched my script except during rehersals. DIE. it's so much easier when i write my own script. why does my life feel so empty? why do i feel so lonely? i wish i knew what could fill this void in me besides you. i wish i could have it. anything.

the hols are here

2006-03-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

okay. this week has been packed with activities back to back :D on sunday, i cant remember what we did. but i remember coming back and watching grey's anatomy. so good. we did some nonsense and went to sleep at 2 am. then on monday, instead of going swimming with the ngs, we went out with them to suntec. hahah. she told us to meet at 2.30. we left at 2. cos we knew that she would definetely be late. hahaha. so we walked and gossiped. told ghost, camp stories and basically remembered all our fun camps. so many memories :D i really miss all of them. we reached suntec we took our time to walk around and window shop. bought the godva chocolixir. it was sooo good. too bad they ran out of the dark chocolate one. finally met elaine and the twins. bought 16 movie tickets then went to buy the prizes and all. needless to say we bought other things too. hahaha. the "drink your milk" hahaha. gail was so mean. she asked elaine "eh, you sure got your size or not?" hahaha. then after that she said "i dont think so. it looks like it's for kids. not for old people la." hahahah!!! then joshie and lebby kept playing bang bang and hide and seek. stephenie knocked down the whole display of kiddy sofas! haha. yadder yadder. i cant believe they lay down on the floor! so dirty! hahah. it was a really long day. we reached the Ng's place at around 9. ate chicken rice. hahhaa. caleb was so into the mutton bones, chewing it like mad. hahaha. and ken was so fascinated with him. hahaha. then caleb started talking to the mutton man! hahaha. couldnt get over it. they started jumping from the sofas and all. so cute! joshie slapped me playfully. then i pretended to be angry. then he was so cute!! he poked my back and in the act cute act cute voice he went "jie jie". hahaha. i couldnt stop laughing. then he stuck his face in front of mine and started laughing. i love their new song! hahah. so cute. hmm. me and andrea stayed over but we sent them back first cos it was like midnight. then we went for joyride cos elaine actually wanted snacks. stayed up trying to find new questions for the human bingo. hahha. it was damn funny. we ended up sleeping at 3. i thought i would wake up damn late? but i woke up at 7 cos noah was laughing so loudly to himself. so adorable!!! played with him. joshie woke up. i love them man! hahaha. he put chocolate in my hair!! hahaha. ken put on a singlet. then he was like "eh! hunk right!!?" hahaha. then he started posing. what the hell!! joshie started choking. hahaha! left. picked up the tans and all the people. went down. waited and waited. finally went into the theatre. the show was good. damn funny. i dont mind watching it again!! hahah. hottie!! cabbed back down to the tan's place. played the games and all. ate dinner. and the chocolate coated marshmallows, strawberry and bananas!! fattening. great dark chocolate. hahaha. played with the twins. haha. blanket game was like super fun man!! first i was over with sarah. then we like won over all the people except for jarren and debbie! haha. then sarah and me went over. we had so many diguises. i tied my hair, wore sarah's glasses and then the blanket dropped. jehian was like EH EH! hahaha. super fun man!! we won alot of people over. hahaha. so fun man. i remember the last time we played it. with the soos. there were so many twins it was so fun man! hahaha. we played murderer. hahaha. whee. stupied andrea took so long to come down. we styaed over at the tan's. talked. you know the stuff they do at sleepovers. left in the afternoon, went to aunty joyce's house. watched DVDs, went to church. aunty yen and uncle paul sent us home. on thursday, i woke up so early to go to school, for a pathetic 45 minutes. i never would have gone if i didnt promise benny. hahaha. i forced chermin to come down with me. whee. waited for debbie. then we went to town. waited for val. decided to eat at cafe cartel. only when we finished she came man. hahaha. we bluffed her we were damn hungry. she was so guilty. hahaha. they made me watch the movie "yours, mine and ours" again. hahaha. but it was good. "Go kelly! Go kelly! The other team is smelly! They're quaking like they're jelly! We've got sisters from New Dehli!" hahahaha!! it was damn funny. after that we walked around. we watched the 17 thing and signed up for the card. went back. watched DVDs :D damn funny. stealth and upperclassman. "Just tell me you love me you pussy!" HAHA! that was PRICELESS. friday. went to meet corissa and debbie. as usual they were late. and we kept changing meeting place. went to bugis junctio. cos debbie wanted to try chapter 2. walked for so long. i finally found my maroon adidas shorts!! :D in the end, chapter 2 was at bugis street. went over. cut hair. hahaha. it was damn funny. cos there was those girl magazines. hahaha. then the guy looked at us. hahaha. he took away my female magazine and put HAHA!! men's health. we couldnt stop laughing. we walked around. shopped. PS. paragon. taka. yeah. went back. cant remember. stayed over at elaine's on saturday. played pictionary and taboo. hahaha. damn fun!! and yeah. i got 82 for english!! i told my parents bout my results for math. they started nagging me. asking bout what i wanted to do. my head was screaming: newsflash. i dont know what else i want in my life. i dont know anything other than you. i lost all of my sanity, my sense of direction, the day YOU waled away. i dont know any other joy. how can i find hapiness without you? when i was with you, i found delight in every single little thing. the wealth of joy was overwhelming. now that it isnt there anymore, i'm so empty. i've always been surrounded by loneliness, sorrow. but now it's more noticecable, more unbearable. cos i've got a glimse of the other side.. in YOU..

EFL and the movie sucked!!!

2006-03-11T22:44:00.000+08:00

NEVER EVER WATCH THE MOVIE DATE MOVIE. it is not only a waste of money, but a big time waste of cash. we basically sat in there and talked and slept and messaged. okay let's start from the top. we all wore our OBS shirts to school. it felt GOOD. i miss OBS, but most of all, i miss bibi :( she's being a big time asshole. it's her birthday on the 16th okay. how exciting. back to the point. hmm. EFL was good. it actually was really fun. HUM-PA-FA-LUM. hahaha. and chiwawa. and the face paint. and playing tag. and the piggy back fight. me and sasha are the champions!! i piggy backed her. hahaha. and the marker inks from her hands got on my face la. hahaha. and i think i scratched her with my braces. we were supposed to write notes. but i ran out of paper. so i started writing on wee jia's thigh. after that everyone started writing on everyone man. hahaha. it was fun. like my whole cuff had words. i didnt feel like scrubbing it off :D after that, we all rushed down. the movie was horrid. the bus ride was damn funny man. hahahah!!! the "do you have breasts?!" and the APNN guy nearly sitting on my head. ahaha!! after the movie our moods were spoilt.. so i went back. i saw tricocia again! hahaha. on the bus there was this whole group of models. american models. hot models. like reeal models. the nokia model and all. i got to see theirr portfolio!! she was saying that she got the 25000 bucks job and yadder yadder. so cool!! they had photo shoot at the beach today. awesome man. :D gotta go. see ya.

EFL and i feel so alone

2006-03-09T20:45:00.000+08:00

i've never felt so alone in my life before. the loneliest, most desolate spot on earth is to love and not be loved in return. yes. i havent updated for a really long time. this week has been up and down for me. more of downs actually. hmm. yeah. basically monday was crap. pure, undiluted crap. the meeting sucked. i dont wanna talk bout it. actually i dont feel like talking bout anything. there wasnt a single day i didnt stop to think bout you. bout how it would feel like to hold you again. there wasnt a single day i havent felt so alone. i dont know. i really dont know what to do. and i find myself on the brink of tears time and time again. over you. this is so difficult. more than i can bear. do you realise that if you take all i said bout us on my blog alone there would be so damn much to read? down to earth anna. down to earth. i had biology lessons and after that i sat in the canteen reading my book waiting for my sister. tuesday. i cant remember what happened on tuesday actually. i think i went home instead of going maria's house to bake. well, it sucked. face it. my life sucks without you. cos it just aint fun anymore. you've taken all the color with you. my world's in black and white. wednesday it was EFL and it was well, boring. haha. first i had to wake up at 5 A.M. maria. hahah. she thought her ez link card and all was in her uniform in the machine and she waited for it to stop spining. except it was on the table! hahah. and she missed her bus. the lady was well annoyingly so domineeringly annoying. haha. then i argued with her. hahah. and she said in front of everyone:" what's your name? anna right?" i was like " no. na an. " hahah. then she decides to give me 100 points. cos she says that i'm damn funny. hahah. and bout how i argued with her. i was laughing like mad man. hahahah. we played cards then she came to nag. she called us "the unbeatables" you know the gambling show? hahaha. yeah. then after all that, we went to eat sushi buffet. me, sasha, zhi yi, maria, debbie, valerie, chermin and clarissa. only five of us ate. all the bimbos didnt. we stacked the plates until maria couldnt see zhi yii. hahah. we ate 42 plates? yeah. hhahaha. stalked shermin to see irwin. hahaha. he's damn white!!? and he looks like a girl. and shermin is mean to him! hahaha. but i seriously didnt picture him to be like that. hahaha. went back. helped gary chose songs. slept. played guitar. turn back time, rewind the clock. i wish i could. i really wish. then i would pause at the part when there was only you and me.. today actually we were all going to skip, meet at 10 for breakfast at queensway's macs. all planned nicely right? i dont know what happened. actually i'm lazy to say. in the end only sasha zhi yi and val skipped. all stupid maria's fault! HMMPH!! go look at debbie's blog. hahaha. i love the show grey's anatomy!!! some one buy me the DVD please!! HAHAH!

big momma's house 2!! hahaha!!

2006-03-02T22:17:00.000+08:00

today was accounts. one word. flunk. well, school sucked. stupid sasha and the stupid note. hahaha. after school, we all went down town. me, val, sasha, zhiyi, debbie and maria. we watched big momma's house. funny shit hell. i laughed like nuts. at least it got my mind off you. for a while that is. so yeah. i went to draw money. stupid. they were all trying to see my pin man. hahaha. didnt succeed. stupid zhi yi ma. pressed 1000 bucks. hahaha. obviously there wasnt enough so transaction cancelled. next stupid debbie/sasha pressed 100. bloody hell. walking around with so much cash. i will spend it man! i need to deposit back. asses. hahaha. then they tried to steal my money to take neos. hahah. at first only sasha tried to. then debbie helped. hahaha. she was like touching and everyone was staring. hahaha. and i started shouting "RAPE!!! RAPE!!!" HAHA! they stopped. maria wanted to pay for the neos. in the end we forced her to take the money. went back around 6. took a short nap. ate dinner. didnt eat lunch, but just wasnt hungry. have been studying since. and there i was, trying to mind my own buisness, but suddenly, i cant get you off my mind, i cant sleep without dreaming of you, i cant think without seeing you. oh man. boy am i in for it. you promised me that what you didnt have in money, you would make it up to me in love, ten fold.. do you see those stars? i love you all the way to those stars and back. look up there and see how high we can dream. maybe one day i'll be able to tell you this: i wish you well. i cant offer you anything else, so i wish you well, dont you get it? i wish you big soft beds with clean sheets. i wish you warm fires on cold blustery night and hammocks for spring days. i wish you christmas trees and homemade cookies and fat pupies and sweet smelling babies to make you smile. i wish you ice cream and thick green grass beneath your bare feet. i wish you butterflies when you jog and moonbeams at nights and dreams that reach the stars and i wish you peace.. i wish you well. i wish you love, and i wish that whoever it comes from loves you even a tenth as much as i love you, because that would be enough for a lifetime. it would be enough to warm your bed, to touch your heart.. this thing bout novels. it goes way back to you and our non-happy ending. this is why i love happy endings, cos i never got mine. and it creates and illusion that someday i would. but reading them, watching them, it only shows how much i've missed out on. you know on those really bad days i wish i never met you. but dont they say " it's better to have loved and lost love than to never have known it at all.." i dont know what the hell i'm doing with my life. i've got no direction in my life. where am i even going? i need a purpose, a reason to live. and that reason was and still is you. but now you're gone. where does that leave me?

ben & jerry ice cream feast!!

2006-02-28T19:03:00.000+08:00

i just looovee the show!!! grey's anatomy rarr rarr!! hahaha. people, you guys know what to get me for my birthday. hahahaha. do you realise that life would be so much easiser if there wasnt alot of the painful memories with it? memories of you. memories of what we used to be. what we had. what we shared. memories that remind what a great loss i've made. the greatest loss of all time. the loss of a heart. the loss of YOU. okay back to earth. today's paper was english. english was well, english. i hardly have any comments bout it. then there was biology. did practical. it was great. i love biology. did i ever mention that it's one subject i actually enjoy studying?! it's so amazing to discover how a minute thing as plants growing yadder yadder have soo many processes, reasons, things that could go wrong. it's so amazing that a single organ, the size of your fist keeps you alive. yeah. it's really amazing the way He made us. it's those little things seemingly insignificant, those things like your next breath. it's all that that really makes you realise the power of His hand. the wonder of creation. if everyone really understood these amazing revelations, there would be no murderers. sadly, people fail to see His power. they fail to see His mighty hand in everything. they become complacent and full of themselves. sadly, they make themselves out to be the creator, instead of the creation. they worship the creation rather than the Creator. this is why the world is a mess this day. this is why He will judge. after that it was accounts. read my book. i think i really might drop the subject. chinese. she was so annoying. RARR!!! did comprehension. suprise suprise!! the five of us started gossiping. recess. actually tan was supposed to teach me. i dont know what happened. but he didnt chemistry was easy! but i made a stupid mistake!!! RARR!! after that lessons were a blur. hmm. after english after school, i went down to great world. i took the wrong bus man. idiot. hahhaa. reached at like 4. germaine was there. we went to eat ben & jerry's. delicious. they changed the napkins!! not fun!! it's not nice anymore. now it's just plain white. we went around taking pictures of the tables. hahaha. the girl there was superbly nice. first she gave us extra big scoops. then she gave val and maria and extra scoop. i thought she knew it was val's birthday that's why. then i said " how you know it's her birthday? " she was like it is? then she gave val a 2 scoop waffle with mini m&ms as toppings. so nice!! hahahaha. i bought another 2 dollar pencil. hahaha. from ben & jerry's. and a cool bumper sticker. i love the plastic bag!! hahaha. then we went down. val and germaine went to the loo. we walked past the florist and saw white roses. i was like " eh!! " me and debbie bought half a dozen of white roses for her. hahahaha. so yeah. went back. we ran across the road to try to catch the bus but we missed it!! so embarrassing!! hahaha. met sharon and seok. on the bus, it was damn funny. we were sitting with our backs to the front. so i saw and it looked like my stop. so i pressed the bell. but it wasnt!!! me and debbie laughed like nuts. then i thought it was my stop. again it wasnt. we laughed like shit. i was crying man. hahaha. funny hell. i love grey's anatomy!!! this is a song for you. this is from me to you: staring at the back of you, watching sadly as you walk away from me. holding back all my tears, hurting inside as your shape soon disappears. i cant explain this thing i feel inside. this emptiness that echoes through the night. i cant let go of everything i know. i aint gonna let you go. i said hello, i let you in. and now i'm struggling to let you go. i hate goodbyes, yeah i hate it all, the empty promises to keep in touch. now as i see you walk away. i know my life wont be the same. i'm incomplete, there's only half of me, why cant you see that, now that you are gone. this painful rejection, leaves me in dejection. how do i face this world alone.

GYS match

2006-02-27T22:01:00.000+08:00

a early birthday wish. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VALERIE!!! i know it's tommorrow but i dont know if i'm gonna be here tomorrow so cheers!! like okay. maths wasnt that hard if i had studied. in fact, it would have been chicken feet or duck feet you might say. hahaha. it was okay. cumulative frequency totally saved my ass down there. i spent liike 30 minutes on it. i think i'll pass. all i did for the question on transformation was draw the line M. damn it. i knew how to do the rotation and reflectio man. not enough time. rarr!! i should get extra time. i cant bend my right hand more than 90 degrees. it hurts like fuck. i didnt need to say pledge. hahah!! it really hurts. hmmph! after the paper was literature. it was quite productive. we did an essay in class. i need to read my text badly. and my biology notes. then it was chem. i honestly cant remember what went on, cos it was the bitch teaching. i drifted of to sleep and right before i fell aslepp she woke me to ask me to answer a question. it's a good thing i'm smart. HAHA! recess. i read maria's geography text for like less than 5 minutes. then i couldnt concentrate. the new chinese teacher was our invigilator. what a bitch. she came in like 10 minutes late? started making a hoo ha bout how we were not ready and slow when she was the one who was late? she started counting down form 10. you look at her and you wanna punch her. you spend a minute with her and you'll hate her. what a stark contrast between her and mak. bitch. never mind. then she insisted we sit accordinng to our electives. tried to explain nicely that the teacher just asks us to raise our hands to distribute the papers. she started saying i was rude and yadder yadder. hahah. so i was like " so you want me to talk like YOU?! " and i started imitating her voice. then she started bout convent girls nowadays yadder yadder. i ignored her and went back to my seat. cass was like "way to go." hahaha. everyone hated her. later in the end she was like oh, i think it's difficult to rearrange you now. so just raise you hands. i was like wasnt that what we said in the first place? bitch. i stuck out my tongue at her. hahah. childish yeah. i dont care. alot of people saw and started sniggering. half way during the exam, she opened the door and started shouting, asking a girl not to hide behind the pillar. what the helll. so noisy. everying started 'tsking' and hushing her. haaha. she finally shut up and came back into class and STARED at us. hahaha. i managed to write 1 page for geography. it was quite easy man. slept for half an hour. left class after that. bel came from next door. debbie and kim came down to find me. hahaha. she wrote a nonsense letter to me. what the hell. hahaha. fast forward. during warm up, me, amanda's and jo's arms were hurting like fuck. rubbed the 'ben is gay' muscle rub. hahaha. didnt help at all. hmm. first quarter and all i was controller. we played well. hahaha. i had very nice assists. too bad it's not like NBA where they record assists too. he was in a very good mood today. dont know why. he kept calliing everyone and anyone who put in a ball superstar. and he sat on the floor and talked to thessa. he asked her if she wanted to play, if she wanted he would get an extra jersey for her. nonsense. hahaha. there was 2 balls sue li put in and they actually stood up and cheered for her. HAHA! i think my passes were very nice today. i love my assists :D lin's gonna say "selective memory" hahaha. the score was 60 something to 20 i think. i cant remember. hahaha. it was fun. he says we're not going for the other competition. what the hell, by then kim and judy can play man. RARR him. debriefed. waited for triccocia and corissa cos she said they were coming with us. in the end when trico finished playing she said they were not coming? what the hell. so we scolded corissa. hahaha. so she said she would come with us. trico said okay. next moment, tricocia said she was tired then corissa said dont want to go. hahaha. what the hell. cheated us twice. now she's asking me to do lunch with her. hmmph! hahaha. went serene center, debbie taught me chem. she ate macs. dad dropped her home.. hahaha. the lady with the scarf on her head was scary. hahaha. lin took back the ipod to charge. i might be doing lunch with them tommorrow. cos wednesday paper is dont need to and cannot study. chinese and SS. rarr!! i hate exams. you're my life. i dont know how i ever was happy without you. i could ask you to stay, but i would never. not when your heart's not in it. the nights are so empty, the days so lonely. the world is timeless when you're here with me. and when you're not, the nights are colder, the days longer. i cant say how much i love you. sometimes i've run out of words. and i try so hard to pretend that i dont care. pretend that my insides are not churning, when i see your face. i try to pretend that my world does not crumble when you're walking away. "if you call me today, i'll say that i'm fine. but i bet you can tell from the tone of my voice it's just a lie." bloody hell if i dont feel so empty and so incomplete without you. YOU complete me. oh yeah. take the world but give me YOU.

hello friendly match

2006-02-26T17:40:00.000+08:00

oh man. yesterday i watched sweet november. it's damn sweet!!! but it's bloody sad okay! i cried through half of it. rarrr!!! why must she die!!?? what a irritating ending. the good thing was that there was comic relief. in the form of guess who? michael rosenbaum dressed as a girl!!! hahahaha. he was supposed to be a cross dresser. i was like oh my gosh! is that michael!!?? hahaha. damn funny. i was the only one who could recognise him :D oh shit. the guy in the show is damn sweet. keanu reeves. the 12 presents. oh my. rarr!! i wanna watch again. okay. so we were supposed to meet at tiong 9 for breakfast. no.1. i had breakfast with dad. duck noodles. no.2. corissa called to say she would be there around 9.30. nevermind. no.3. sharon said she was reaching, but i said i would be late. so she decided to walk. in the end, i was on time and she was late. neither of us ate breakfast. hahaha. she finally came. gave her the present and all she could say was wait! for like 5 minutes. it was damn funny. we decided to cab down and i paid. went to meet jane and i forgot her name at macs. went to the supermarket cos cor wanted to go. in the end we didnt buy a single thing. went to the court thinking we were late. we were ethe only ones from our team there. trico was there already. first half. they played. it was veryy slow. we were losing. went in. we did nice passing. it was bird's day man. she like put in 20 balls. 4 3 pointers. my gosh. nice intercepts. it was the first tim i saw a refree with attitude problem. bloody hell. he was damn irritating. he gave hy a techincal foul!? we won 27-48. trico says her coach wants them to play with us again. come on, they already lost twice. first they said it's cos it's not on their homr ground. now what can they say. no 11 is damn petty. and she sounds like a crow. she shot a 3 pointer. missed. landed on the floor and claims she broke her leg. what the hell? haha no one even touched her. the guys were laughing at her. the refree ignored her. hahaha. the guys team played and they had very bad sportsmanship. seriously. andre's tteam was damn angry. waited for tricco. ate macs. we all ate alot!! tricco ate: mac spicy meal and another filet o fish. sharon ate: filet o fish meal and another filet o fish. corissa ate: filet o fish meal and 6 peice nuggets. i ate: 6 peice nugget meal and cheeseburger. we were damn full. thank me for the coupons. gossiped. rarr rarred. hahaha. the love bite thing is damn funny!! triccocia blushed like crazy man!! hahaha. went back to the court. tricco said 5 minutes. it was like 1 hour. what the hell. hahahha. while waiting played with the guys. ng didnt wanna play can. the bui is damn accurate man!! hahaha she "SHIT!!" and chopped. what the hell. i made some nice shots. but it was quite a boring game. at 4 she finally finished. we cabbed to redhill i paid again. hahaha. corissa wanted to send me all the home. but i said dont need cos tricco was very tired. hahaha. she was gonna go cor's house. i was like tired now, later go her house confirm wont be sleeping.hahaha yeah. i have gary's ipod!! :D hahaha. if i see you again i would never tell you. but now when you're not here by my side, when you'll not read this, i'll say it. i love you so much it hurts so bad. i want you so much i ache. i miss you so much that nothing else seems to matter, this world is in black and white. do you know how much i love you? i guess not. if not you would never have walked away. but i would not ask you back. before you came along my life was complete. happy. or so i thought. then you came. and i had to have you. life wasnt complete without you. i couldnt smile without you. yeah. life will go on. but not the way i want it to. not with you. not with full color. life's in black and white now. and i cant see the beauty without you. cos the really beauty, it's you. how can i be satisfied in life when i had you. i knew what it's like to have the greatest, most precious person in my care. how can i ever be contented with just memories, when those memories may be beautiful, but they are just not enough. nothing is enough. nothing but you.

the raffles match

2006-02-22T19:04:00.000+08:00

i think this picture is beautiful. depression is infectious and you are a habit i cant break. friday. that was fun splash. fun flash. we got to leave class at 10.15. i'm hurt. debbie keeps calling me a big mouth. RARR. oh oh. corissa told me the story behind the 7 missed calls. "eh. study hard. " oh what the hell. which self respecting A/bung whatever she's trying to be says that to someone who doesnt even like her? oh yeah. fun splash. how ironic that the name is so contradictory to the actual thing. oh yeah. sure we had fun. we had so much fun cos first she almost banned everyone from going. due to reebok shorts and short hair so she says. i was the only basketballer who escaped all of that crap. she looked at me and said, anna you can go. yeah she loves me. i hope NOT. but it comes in handy though. hahaha. i have found the answer is to love you and be loved by you alone. okay so the point is they stashed all the short hair peopl and so called unsightly people at the back. how fun, when all my friends are stashed behind. they didnt even let zhi yi stand. okay so jo's hair is not short? oh what the hell. they said that we're all in 1 gang trying to recruit other short hair people and influence them. it's not our fault the sec ones are posers. oh the novice race was entertaining. ms veeno: the worst are the indians! they cannot swim!! you know why?! they see the coconut trees, they think of bollywood they wanna dance. oh what the hell. that cracked me up alright. we were all bumped and annoyed at the end of the meet. waited so long for the bus back to school. we played taiti on the way back. funness. cleared and arranged the stuff. we were about to go back when leslie called me, sasha, zhi yi and debbie to talk. what the hell. he was talking bout image and GGR and bullshit man. i wanted to laugh. kissing sound!!! hahaha inside joke. dad rescued me from the talk. left them there. hahaha. monday. no training. had talks. went back after shopping with debbie. tuesday. training was like training. bossy captain. okay she's improved okay. i'll give her that. game sucked. i couldnt stop laughing over the armpit hair!! hahahah. stupid kim. wednesday. the match. they were both suspended. so we had no controllers. the margin was actually close. 4 balls. not even half way through 1st quarter. he walked out?! saying we were thrashed? took out the main five put swiss in? what the heck. we were all damn pissed. our morale was actually up and he brought it down. i felt like crying. in the end, the score was 49-9. suprisingly, no one cried. compared to last year. every match we lose we cry. went SPC and ate. wow. they were so lomantic. hahahah!!! all the sec 2s, judy, wanling and jia bao. ate hip hop jelly :D hahha. thursday. again during the match he started getting rarr rarr. irritating. dont even wanna talk bout it. we could have won. really could have. you know what? they're lucky their principal is not so dumb as to suspend players cos of short hair. if that were so, they would have been left with 3 players. triccocia came down today. ahaha. dont know why but she was so excited like ANNA!! hahaha. gossiped bout who other than her. yeah. lazy to type. i really really miss you. why cant i breathe wheneveer i think about you? friday. whoo. hmm. not much of classes. which was like awesome. hahah. had fun during the investiture. me and sasha played chopsticks. i lost 4-1 :( haha. played chikopa! i won 3-2. yay. talked crap. played truth or dare. hahaha. funny shit. sang loudly. after school, we went to town in wee jia's car. hahaha. the sally thing was damn funny. stupid debbie. after walking we decided to eat baked rice. full like shit. we wanted to spy on chong wa wa and irwin. but they changed destination and we were too lazy. we bought corissa's present and yeah. hahah. wanted to buy my maroon adidas shorts but didnt have, so we went to galilee and friends. ordered a milk shake so we could sit there while debbie was 'studying'. haha. so me and sasha played the blocks thing. i won!! 3-4. yayay. we laughed like shit. were damn tired and sleepy. so we went our seperate ways. yeah. corissa keeps bugging me to go on sunday. and she keeps bugging me to tell her the story of my almost non-existent love likfe. half of the reason was you. you're the reason why i'm so emotional nowadays. what love is there when there isnt you. you took my heart and ran. you took all the color in life with you. why would i even look for someone new when i had you. when i knew what it's like to love the best, to have the best, to hold you. everything and everyone else would be insignificant wouldnt it? everything else would fall short and only make me want you more. damn it. you're gotten way under my skin. what have you done to me??

this is from post secret.

everyone should read that website.

it's amazing.

the queenstown

2006-02-16T18:45:00.000+08:00

yeah. i know i havent been updating for long. anyway i dont think it really matters cos i dont think anyone even reads my blog anyway. hahaha. so basically i'm like talking to myself. oh my. that doesnt make me any better than swiss!! hahaha. okay. let me try to recall what happened this week. monday was a waste of my time at self training. firstly, we started only at 4. then we spent an hour or so getting wet and dirty filling the poles. only to puncture it and have all the water gushing out when we moved it. oh yeah. just great. then the captain left. we played 3 on 3 i think. after that i left. yadder yadder. tuesday. oh. it's valentine's day. big deal actually. valentine's day is like a day where florists makae alot of money and so do hallmark people. it's a day where people exchange lots of candies, eat lots of candies and yeah. grow fat. valentine's day is a day where people miraculously declare their love, say " i love you " millions of time to millions of people, many a time when they probably dont understand what love is. okay. maybe i'm a mood spoiler. maybe it just has not much of meaning to me. well, nothing much has meaning to me anymore. not since you walked away. oh no. yeah. hahaha. me and sasha tricked people that she had two plasters on her face cos she got into a fight. actually it was cos sasha had two pimples. hahah!! so after school i had stupid lessons. then i met debbie. she decided she should see a doctor. i decided to visit the library with my sister to borrow more romance novels. yes yes. i like happy endings. doesnt everyone? but actually if i knew that mom was not home, i would have went back for grey's anatomy. oh rarr. had dinner out. wednesday. chinese sucked. i hate chinese. was supposed to have SS after school, but she wasnt in class. so i just walked out. later candice told me benny took down the names of people who left class. which apparently was just me, me and me. house practice. got annoyed with the people who took so long to settle down and made so much noise that nobody could hear. shouted. stunned faces. sat there for the rest of house practice reading. i finished 2 books already. in less than a day. but i'm reading the second one again cos it's very nice :D yeah i'm a sucker for this kinda things. i was supposed to be accompany chess. but turns out i wasnt much company cos i was so absorbed in reading. she gave up and studied. my. do you know CA1 is like next next week? that's bloody fast and i'm bloody dead. dad fetched. fell asleep. played guitar with gary. hahaha. the alabaster jar and shout to the lord was like way off key. i was like huh?! what the heck is he singing? but overall he did good for a first timer. yeah. i dont know why i was so shagged. have been for the past few days. you sucked the life out of me. today. i got annoyed with her for threatening. rarr. there's something wrong with me. they took bloody long to get changed and all. dad got pissed. i was saying we should just let them cab down. and they were like what's the difference? i was like my dad has t work you know. silence. amanda offered to go find them with me. shot. mak came down!!! :D outside the court, he kept me and debbie at sidelines. i got pissed. i got upset. judy asked if i was fine. i said i was. but again i think it was pretty clear i wasnt.. i put on a brave front. who am i kidding? i lost the strength to fight since you left. the match was depressing the first few rounds. we were thrashing them 19-1 the first half. i sat there and messaged. then at third quarter he said:" i think i'll put anna and debbie in... for fun" what the hell. right there and then i wanted to smack him. but again, rarr. he is the coach afterall. went it. first thing i did was to intercept a ball. fast break. foul. missed. two shots. put one in. i think i played good defense. apparently not good enough. he still took us out. during the end he put me in again. yuck!! they have bad breath. and one of them kissed me on the lips. ew ew ew. rinse mouth, scrub lips. cant remember the score. 7- something. talked. he said i might be first 5 next game. went to eat at macs with HY. yuck yuck the ____ and __ thing. oh yuck. hahaha. HY said "omg! why she chose __ when she's so smart?" clever HY saw all __ had was cash. hahah. and no back bone. she was lamenting over it and said why? so i told her, " as the saying goes, pick on someone your own size. " hahahaha. dad came. left. why would i want another, when i had you? why would i even look for another one, when i had loved the best? but life just wasnt fun anymore. you've taken all the color with you. everything was gray. from time to time i'd forget what happen and would turn to you to share a comment on a book, or on a tv show, or a flavour of ice cream. only you werent there, and i'd lose all interest in it.

the match sucked

2006-02-11T22:33:00.000+08:00

i'm annoyed with her for telling fat pat. and telling him nonsense at that. thanks alot. for not confirming stories, not believing in my character. and for spreading rumours. thanks aye. i thought at least you would confirm stories. but no. forget it. nowadays i myself dont know who i am, i dont expect others to know me too. i feel like shit. i dont know why i've been crying. yeah i try to hide my tears. what the hell is wrong with me? i cried during physics test? what the hell. the match sucked. STC lost 17-44. realise STC? bel, li wei, debbie and swiss didnt even get to go on court. i played for like what? 5-10 minutes. it's my first time of al the four years, it's the least i played. even when i was sec one i played quite alot. it was very unreal. like i was watching a match instead of having a competition. the moment the game ended, sharon came up to me and said, he played wrong people. he really did. i didnt even shed a tear. i dont know. i think there's something wrong with me. triccocia asked if i was okay. corissa asked me not to cry. of course i was okay and unaffected by losing. it was not my game to play. if there was a reason i felt like crying, it was at the very fact i didnt even get to contribute. oh what the hell. it sucked that all the schools got converse. so wanted the D.O.S one. all fat pat's fault. we stayed to watch the hockey match. we won like 2-0 first goal was by hitomi then marissa. yeah. then we met marc. and then we went to SPC to eat instant noodles and buy tidbits. then me and debbie walked back to CCAB cos dad was coming to fetch and we both didnt know how to go back . went down for home cell. gary was supposed to bring the delirious cd for me today. he brought the case without the cd. hahaha. winner. i cant smile without you, it doesnt quite reach my eyes. i cant laugh without you, it doesnt feel quite the same. i keep telling myself to enjoy. enjoy this life without you. i keep trying to immerse myself in friends, in other things. but nothing satisfies. bsaketball it's like slipping away. and friends? i dont have any. damn it i really miss you. no matter how hard i try to deny. ii try to wake up with a false smile on my face, but damn it's so hard to keep it there when you're not next to me, there isnt a message from you in the morning. it's so hard to laugh without you by my side.

2006-02-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

it just shows how much you know me. it really does. for you to even ask that question. i may be a bitch. but not such a big one. i still have a conscience. still have a heart. no i'm no angry with you. i'm just disappointed. i have a heart. ask lin. i was so hesitant to even ask her that. and you. what the hell. i would never force someone to quit. i would never stoop that low. even if i do, did you ever realise it was not for ME? it was for a FRIEND. do you not know that i am not a chao ah lian, going around threatening to beat people up. what the hell. it shocks me that you could even think i would go beat her up. seriously. which brings me back to the fact. how many people around me whom i think i can call friends are really friends? i think i owe shi yun a major apology. i've been very mean to her. i'm sorry. i guess i let my feelings cloud my judgement. i did some thinking. yes. i think i've been a bitch. no, i know. i've been a bitch. if i could be wrong bout shi yun, maybe i'm wrong bout jo in certain parts too. i'll try.

but i wanna say something to the bitch who went around telling stories. saying that i forced shi yun to quit. mind your own buisness. and get your facts right before spreading rumours. unless of course you are majorly bored and without a life. then if spreading rumours and stirring up trouble is you only soure of entertainment, tell me. then go ahead. i wont be bothered to do anything. just tell me first. i hate this blogger thingy. you know in my post, everything is paragraphed and nicely typed, but when it's posted, it comes out as clumps. i'm complaining again. i should stop. i've been tempremental lately. i was never this impatient with chong wa wa last time. hahaha. and i'v been complaining. and i actually hung up on her today. i got so irritated with joanne again. there's something wrong with me. i dont think i'm a joy to be around with. i think i'm better of alone, so i cant cos anyone hurt. i think that's a good idea. i'm why friends around me never stay my friends for long. why people are always leaving. i'm not motivation to stay. mak. eric. you. amy. people. this day, it was like any other day. up and down. emotional rollercoaster. when i saw maria crying, i somehow felt like crying. i think i suffer from mild depression. i forgot to bring my flowchart for biology. i think that the banana plant's really cool. hmm. they are so evil. they made me lindo jong. at first it was edlyn and i was the mom. but they said she suited to ah ma auntie role more. and i the wife more. so i'm lindo jong. nicole lim's wife. how amusing. haha.i dont want it. i really dont want. i dont wanna have to wear a cheong sam. chemistry. mr stanley yeo is damn funny. damn cute. hahaha. the explosion thing. "dont worry. fail my chemistry test you'll get to see again... first hand. i'll make you hold the jar..." HAHA. priceless. recess. passed the letter to her. talked to boss. i think i'm damn fat. my lower tummy. my gosh. geography. boring. cant remember what me and val were talking bout. chinese. i think i was talking to debbie. i cant remember what was going on. maths. we were in lesson only for like 15 minutes. and for that 15 minutes we were eating and talking. and i dont think anyone was listening to her. after school. watched the cheerleaders. heard the ignatius cheers. waited. waited went harbour. all of a sudden i'm not in the mood. goodbye. And I stand in wonder of Your power to create, And to create so beautifullly. But I fall in awe, When I come to see, You the Creator, Is so much greater, So much bigger than Your creations. I worhip the Creator, As I marvel at Your glory.

the vicious life

2006-02-07T21:34:00.000+08:00

the vicious cycle of life. of carrying on when you dont feel like doing anything but moping around, lying in bed. yeah hell. training that day wasnt as bad. except for the bad mannered shoves and elbows. i really had to resist the urge to hurt her back real bad. he was wearing the shirt again. the sleeveless shirt. i felt that it was so unfair. how she could even still be in the team. how debbie wasnt gonna be there on the court playing. i resisted the urge to cry, to throw in the towel. but i pushed myself and tried to concentrate and play the game like how it deserved to be played. tried. some how i couldnt. but at least today wasnt as bad. at least i played good defense, made nice passes and took and put in nice shots and layups. at least he saw my worth. at least i tried. hmm. school. biology dissection. as fun as dissecting a flower could be. carved names on petals. math. read. house practice. the first match we won 12-0. then we lost 16-1. they cheated. they took all their best players even from other teams to play with us okay. never mind. then we won 7-4. isabel was such cheaters. pushing us, squeezing us so we cant jump to block the ball. debbie is the world's biggest cheater. hahaha. anyway we won so big deal. the time of the month must be coming. must be. there's no other explaination for all these overwhelming emotions. not a single other reason why i feel like crying right now. right here. no it's not the reason i saw you happy, head thrown back in laughter. it's definetely not because i'm not over you. now who am i trying to kid. it's you. you're the reason i'm so uptight. you're the one getting under my skin. into my dreams. i thought i was over you. i thought that i thought of you less frequently. that what went on in your life did not bother me anymore. that you could move on and i would not care, that i wouldnt be still stuck here, moping around waiting for you, waiting for us to happen. yes. this will be the last time i cry. the last tear i shed. this will be last minute i spend moping, and i f i see you like that again, i'll hold my head up high. and no matter what, no matter how much it rips my insides out, i will not, i will not tell you i love you.

training

2006-02-03T20:39:00.000+08:00

well. again, i was looking forward to training today. i really was i swear. but when it was time to train, somehow, some time, i got annoyed again. i got irritated. i got pissed and depressed. i dont understand how it can all be so unfair. how come even if we're better, even if we deserve it we wont get the postition. i dont get why he's so blind. so biased. i cant see why 4 years of seniority, 4 years of working our asses off, it being our last year doesnt give us at least half a right to be there. i dont get it. i really dont. i'm begining to think that there's no point training anymore. i'm thinking of joining the outside team she asked me to. rarr! i really dont know what's wrong. i dont know. basketball's supposed to be a great thing that makes me feel high and happy. debbie's right. he kills the spirit. i miss obs. i might be meeting amy tommorrow. cant wait!! :D oh!! you know what? delirious's in town!! paint the town red!! hahahha. i wanna be.. a history maker in this land!! :D i wanna go for the concert tommorrow but it's at 10 am!! but i wanna!! thought for the day: Someone once told us that all we need is a tiny glimpse of God, and our lives would change forever. What did Saul see on the road to Damascus? What did Isaiah see in his vision of heaven? What was it like to be Ezekiel prophesying to the valley of bones? What we do know is that once they experienced these things they were never the same again. Just a glimpse, that’s all we need to be able to say “Here I am, send me.” - Martin Smith of Delirious -

the boys

2006-02-03T20:36:00.000+08:00

these are the joys in my life.

the boys.

they've lifted my spirit countless times.

cheers to them.

cheaper by the dozen 2

2006-02-02T21:06:00.000+08:00

hey mates. training on wednesday was like well, something that wasnt pleasant. usually playing ball lifts my spirits. but of late, training has been rather depressing for me. i wonder why life is so unfair. why the top 5 is the top 5. why debbie doesnt get to play. why he doesnt seem to realise some of us are sweating our asses off more than others. more than often, i wonder what changed. when everything became so cold, when the team was no longer a team. when the team became a group of smaller groups. prejudices here and there. then i wonder how he could stand there, and be so blind. i would wonder how he dares to talk about mak and eric. how he could ask us to respect the ms sharon when he didnt show them any respect. and i think bout what eric said. then i ask myself. how can he talk bout eric like eas if he treats eric with respect, as his fellow coach, when his actions speak louder and they shout the opposite thing. i try to see things from his point of view. why for those 6 months of my life i was deprived of training. i try to understand why gwen and sharon can no longer be part of the team. i try. i really do. then i go on court. i work my ass off. trying to take up the role of a controller. trying to make things happen. trying to get my rebounds. but most of the time, each training i feel so lost. because there's no team to play with. and maybe i just aint good enough. tell me the truth. i just want the truth. i wanna know why things have changed. why he has changed. why couldnt things be the same. i wanna know WHY. why in his eyes i'll never be good enough. why joanne gets to continue fucking boss me around. do the review yourself. who's the captain. fufill your duties before talking to me like you deserve my respect. bloody hell. today was a thursday. biology test. it wasnt that bad. she wasnt here for lit. so i read through my text. for chem i felt like smashing her head through the glass and telling her to go to hell. at that point of time, i really really wanted to smash her to smitherines. but she aint worth doing time for. no one could get on my nerves that much. i dont know i'm feeling so upset. i really dont. everything's depressing. YOU. you're depressing. you know why i like reading novels so much? cos at least in there, they always get their happy endings. and since i know i cant have mine, i want everyone else to have theirs. i try to share theirs. but it aint the same. will never be. recess. chinese. copied that worksheet shit. there's a mock test tommorrow. and i wanna RARR! geography was test. math. i cant remember what was going on. oh yeah. zhi yi smelled her armpit. hahaha. told her it stank. she didnt wanna listen. hahaha. so i was like zhi yi smelled chee bye. hahaha. then i realised it sounded really wrong. hahaha. after school, we waited in the foyer. me, sasha, debbie and val went to town. bought tickets for cheaper by the dozen 2. met zhi yi and melissa. went to eat at marche's. finally had my mushroom soup. and the chicken sausage. i was so full. talked and laughed. gossiped. hahaha. sasha told me something amusing. she said someone told her that people are saying i like her and she likes me. hahaha. that's amusing. went for the movie. the level 9 theatre was small but it was nice. hahaha. cheaper by the dozen 2 as funny shit. it's as good as the first. hahah. val cried? i was like are you crying??! it's so not a crying movie?! hahaha. the first one is sadder. oh wells. i'm probably gonna catch it again with lin sometime :D the jerseys are coming on wednesday. again i had to take care of stuff. basket. i'm pissed. and oh. here's the schedule for our upcoming matches: 10th February (Friday) - SCGS at 1415 hours 16th February (Thursday) - Queensway at 1530 hours 22nd February (Wednesday) - Raffles at 1530 hours 23rd February (Thursday) - St Magret's at 1530hours 27th February (Monday) - Guang Yang at 1530 hours dang it but i miss eric and mak. i feel like eating ben & jerry's. what randomness.

2006-01-31T16:36:00.000+08:00

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

hahaha. that's so not true. i have to drink coffee everyday :D

You Should Drive a Ford Shelby Mustang Cobra

You have an extreme need for speed, even when you're not in a hurry. And while your flying by, you don't want to look like every other car on the road!

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

haha. debbie's right. it's not a terrific looking car :S

You Are 80% "Average American"

You are average because you don't have a college degree. You are not average since you don't donate to charity.

How "Average American" Are You?

hahaha.

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people. You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together. Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly. People crave your praise and complements.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

i am?

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner. For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience. You attract others with wit and a bit of flash. Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you. Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life. You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past. You connect best with: Earth Avoid: Fire You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

hahaha. this so proves i'm bored :D

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

yyeahh!! haha

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

hahaha. rarrr. i'll keep that in mind

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

man am i bored or bored?

You Are Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream

A classic and an original, no wonder everyone snakes your style!

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

ooh!! i like this flavour!!

CNY

2006-01-31T13:01:00.000+08:00

love. it's about putting down the poison and dagger and making your happy ending.. most of the time.. okay so it's chinese new year. big deal. since when has life been colorful since i saw you walk away. in black and white. so yeah. the first day of chinese new year as always we head to my father's side first. without my brother who had to work. ate. drank. collected red packets. greeted. smiled. indulged. played cards. did the thing we do. went to my mom's side. greeted. smiled. collected red packets. served tea. the same thing. well. yeah. got kinda bored. in the end, the 5 of us chens sat down with pearl and aaron and played asshole dai di. hahaha. super funny. heh. factory worker aye? pearl was so like bimbotically dramatic. like the difference in attitude with her as king and with her as the asshole. hahah. and aaron as the gigolo and factory worker. that was amusing. and me giving pearl the asshole the queen, jack and 8. hahahha. everyone was like oooh!! hahaha. but she still ended up as the asshole. hahaha. it was great fun and all. yesterday we went over to mom's side again. sharks fin :D hahaha. and that yu shan thingy. so good. hmm. then it was to uncle anthony's. then uncle bling bling's :D hahaha. great kuey lapis. then the tans. where there was the soos!!! and the ngs!! oh man. love the boys. feel like hugging them and pinching their cheeks. especially when joshie gave jehian that look like he said the most ridiculous thing by asking him to say " anna jie jie pung pung smelly smelly " and declared proudly: "no no!" haha. earned him a big fat kiss. and when he tried making peace with caleb. and went with outstretched arms to give him a big fat hug. and another, and another. hahaha. love em boys. training tommorrow. cant wait. dreamed of the game and bibi last night :D i miss OBS and the people so much! oh. i wanna say i feel so cheated!! i bought my and1 rise mid aye? for 143. so this kim likes me shoes. she asks if she can buy it. and she buys it from the same place. at guess what price? yes. 103. rarr!!!! damn it. wasted 70 bucks within a week!! i like to end the day's review with quotes. adds some meaning to a meaningless day. so cheers and enjoy. "You know what's worse than the fear of speaking the truth? It's the fearing of uncovering it." - some professor from smallville's episode of thirst - "There's only one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him. If he says yes, then he must be crooked." -Groucho Marx-

whoo!!

2006-01-28T16:17:00.000+08:00

hey. let me see. what has life been about besides you? oh yeah. shit. and school which basically is the shit. and trainings. and friends. who yeah. mean alot. but next to you, they cant compare. you tore me apart. i'm a human train wreck. and you wont let me heal. okay. stop. school was fine. tests. tests and tests. the celebration was as usual. boringly shitty.

yeah. we were supposed to all go out together, but in the end, i dont know what happened to our plans. hahah. so it ended up as the 6 of us. me, kim, debbie, lin, amanda and jo. which is kinda nice too, cos i dont really fancy big outings. we wanted to catch a movie. in her shoes or something. but the timings were off. so yeah. headed to heeren for sakae buffet. we ate 57 plates within 1 hour or so. plus moshi and chawanmushi. yeah. i was like soo full. hahaha. so i went to pay the bill. and the 4 of them ( kim left first ) gve me like 16 bucks. which was like yeah. and then the lady said 4 buffets. at first it didnt register. then i counted the money and i was like. something's not right. cos i already had like 52 bucks and the bill was 66. then debbie was like just pay. just pay. later we left and i figured out why. we only paid for 4 when there were 6 of us. hahaha!! so it's like yeah. i calculated? they lost like 29.74 bucks. hahaha. in the end we left after seeing watches and all cos i didnt wanna miss the twins baptism. cabbed down. and it turns out they werent even there yet. hahaha. yeah. later elaine told me that when they were in the car, auntie theresa was saying: " shua, lebby, we going church to see the jie jies. you want to see the jie jies?" hahaha. and then they shouted: "jie jie anna!!" hahahha. so adorable. rarr. love em'. celebrated their birthdays. the cake and all. yeah. service. and then today. which i wanna say now, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE NG NING!!

and here's to grey's anatomy :D

i cant stand it!! he should be with meredith. he freaking cries!! oh and some quotes :D Derek: (difficulty speaking): She asked me ah to tell you that ..that she wanted you to know, that if love were enough... that if love were enough that she'd still be here with you. MVO: But as human beings, sometimes its better to stay in the dark..Because in the dark there maybe fear... but there's also hope. MVO: For starters she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Even now I believe for the most part love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending... most of the time. Meredith: Okay here it is. Your choice. Its simple. (she starts getting teary and emotional) Her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek... I love you... in a really, really big ... pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window...unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. MVO: Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope that the wound that caused it heals. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can't out run it. And life always makes more. dang!! hell do i love this show.

grey's anatomy and life.

2006-01-26T19:24:00.000+08:00

i'm into you like a train. oh dang it. grey's anatomy is so sad!! i cant get it out of my head. cant get over it. it's so much better than ER. it's the best medical show. EVER. it's a pity that hardly anybody watches it. like seriously!! you guys dont know what you're missing out on. hahaha. i like what meredith said bout derrick. " he's a freaking brain surgeon!! how can he be so brainless? " hahaha. that sure got me started. i love the show!! hahah. it's so great cos it's full of humour, it's witty, it's got so many aspects of life injected into it in an artistic, realistic way. dang it!! i cant wait for the next episode. RARR!! it's so sad. i couldnt get over it okay. okay. GET OVER IT. i'm not over it yet. hahah. so? oh. i found something damn amusing. my friend told me she was curious bout what would pop out on google if she typed in anna chen. as you guys know, everything is on google. haha. but you would NEVER guess what pops up. SERIOUSLY. i was so amused. hahah!! roflmao!!! go try it!!! hahaha. okay that's like not the main point. tuesday. played game and all. he said he didnt wanna put me in top 5 cos of my offense. and that if i bucked up on offense, he would put me in instead of joanne. he said it would definetely be better. that does it. i'm so gonna train back my shooting and all. hmm. i dont know why, but my thigh still aches from that training. oh oh! you should have seen what he wore. like OH GOSH. hahah. tight sleeveless. obscene. i'm suprised i didnt get nightmares. he sat on the basketball? and seriously it was like half flat. we were trying so hard not to laugh while he was scolding. hahaha. then he talked bout the hot dog thing. and we took the chance to roar with laughter. roflmao! he was saying anyone can sink in the ball. i was thinking : " not if it's deflated to THAT extent. " hahaha. oh oh! and he was like ......my balls... and my mouth just DROPPED open. like jaw drop. i was like shocked and trying so hard not to burst out laughing. and no one realised. i thought. cos i was behind him. so everyone could see my reaction. hahaha. he started laughing first. hahaha. dude. everyone was roaring with laughter. roflmao!!!! i was like thank goodness i wasnt the only who realised it. hahaha. we like took really long to get over it. hahaha. wednesday was like classes and braces. i went to put braces. he forgot to cut my wire properly. ouch. it's killing me. it was to harbour after school. yeah. gotta go. see ya.

top 12 and the unfair descision

2006-01-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

hey hey. i guess life has been really hectic. this week was like lessons, trainings. lessons, trainings. yeah. i got my shoes on wednesday. and1 rise mid. well, i cabbed down right after school, bought the blue one size 10.5, and cabbed back. so in like less than half an hour i spent 144 bucks. haha. pretty cool. i was already late for lessons. but it was SS so like yeah. dont really bother. in the end they told me self training was cancelled. grrr!!! i helped out with the auditions for the musical. then went to tiong to get my shoes changed. got the orange one. had lunch/dinner with tong at the griller, and went down to church yeah. thursday was supposed to meet sasha. but in the end i went to queens with val, kim, gwen and my sister. so yeah. hunted and hunted for jerseys. couldnt get it. i so wanted the D.O.S one. it is so hot!! all his faukt that we dragged so long we missed the shipment. wanted the adidas reversible one. but couldnt get it. rarr. ate macs. friday was playing ball. hahha. ms sim: " dont tell me there's a ghost going around putting balls everywhere! " hahaha!!! roflmao. i found that damn funny. hahaha. okay training. i was really irritated. damn it. how can he put sue li and shi yun. my gosh. when was the last time they even fucking came for training. what the hell man. ir's super unfair to debbie and qian ru. they have been coming for training regularly. and these 2 assholes, who hasnt been even here, are selected for main 12. he says sue li is committted. which retard cant see that a person who doesnt come for training for 4 months isnt committed? let me tell you. him. and she even wants to quit basketball and join library. bloody hell. library!! what kinda freaking loser is that? why give the position to someone who deosnt even want it. it's debbie's last year. qian ru's been coming. and you give shi yun the position cos she was there for that training and debbie wasnt. debbie had stomach flu. hello!!? because she's big? what the hell? it's so unfair. i cant stand it. she came up to me acting so noble. asking if i minded if she got into top 12. i was like what the hell? she said i would tell him. i actually thought that what the hell? dont think so highly of yourself? how the heck would i know he would be so RARR!! when we've been working our ass off every training, we've been sweating and bleeding, running lik there's no tommorrow, they've been dancing para para, going gout in short skirts to meet guys. and they get the positions. what the hell. seriously just look at the eattendance sheet. just look at it. bloody hell. this is the top 12: 4 - bunny. 5 - lin. 6 - bel. 7 - me!! haha. 8 - big amanda. 9 - judy. 10 - wan ling. 11 - kim. 12 - li wei. 13 - (this should be debbie) loser 1. 14 - (this should be qian ru) loser 2. 15 - jo. today was like church. typical. jamming session after that was great. haha. they were so hype!! poor joshie hit his head. it was like such a big bump!! elaine was like oh!! cock, cock? ( it's supposed to be kok kok ) i was like pffft. trying to control. elaine: cock where? cock where? i was okay stop!!!! it's KOK. not COCK. it's so obscene!!! hahaha. and the baby language thing. dude that was funny!!

the wedding and christopher

2006-01-16T15:21:00.000+08:00

hey hey. like i said, the wedding was yesterday. it was a blast really. we reached at aroud 3 plus. the twins and phuas were already there. like suprise!!!! haha. i got to chose clothes for my bro! haha. okay yeah. so it was like we were waiting around and everythuing. and then chrstopher and marie came i was like hurray!! hahaha. christopher and my brother was wearing like identical clothes?! hahaha. yeah. funny shit when they are supposed to be the nonsense kids. i didnt get to talk to him yet. hahaha. so it was like yeah. forward to.. the twins!! hahaha. the moment they stepped in and started throwing the flowers, there was like excitement man. everyone started chattering. hahahah. yeah. the bride entered. we had worship. my dad shared. suuper long. hahaha. blessings. yadder yadder. then it was all the photo taking. yeah. and dinner. the twins were playing around as usual, and they nearly ran into the pool! elaine caught them right before they stepped in man. hahaha. food was like good. after the cake cutting, went to talk to keziah. yeah. i was like "do you remember me?" she was like "yeah! yeah!..... no." hahahaha!!. took pictures again. finally talked to christopher. hahah. ass. he was like i remember. hahah. the nonsense kid. and it was then that i realise how big a part of my childhood he was. my guitar teacher, my soccer companion. he was the one who encouraged me and always told me to follow my heart. yeah, he was always helping me when i was worship leading as a kid, and i remember the WWJD bands. and the " who wants to get electric shocked!! " hahaha. roflmao. oh man. really miss them yeah. take care and see ya!

extraction, training and everything

2006-01-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

hey hey. i've been like busy busy busy. so yeah. havent had time to update. let me start on sunday. i went to meet them to play ball. but in the end we cancelled cos it was raining!! :( RARR! so yeah. i went back and bathed. took a nice long nap cos the weather was just perfect for sleeping. went over to the ngs house. they were just adorable as usual. had roast duck for dinner man. YUMM. (i'm hungry again. the hungry ghost club!!! hahaha.) so yeah. went back. did stuff. yadder yadder. on monday i got to skip school cos of dental. it was damn painful. she took out a chunk of my gum man. but at least it was clean. i swore after that i would brush my teeth religiously. haha. you should have seen all their faces when they saw me walk into chinese class man. classic! hahaha. tuesday was shopping and reunion dinner. haha. we all felt so over-dressed. except for my brother who looked like he was selling singha beer. roflmao. gail looked like those scandalous aunties selling beer. hahaha. yeah. food was good. especially the buns!! haha. aaron's voice was so funny. haha. oh oh! we also figured that my bro looks mr thomnas from narnia with his goatee. haha. wednesday was extraction. haha. i made her give me alot of the numb numb thing. then i got the day off from school. i would have gone for training. but i wasnt suppose to do vigorous exercise. went down to the childcare kids. they were adorable :D haha. they sang happy birthday to me?? hahaha. and they were amused with my missing tooth. they kept eating the play dough. i waanna eat ben & jerry's!!!!! hahaa. random. actually cos i thought of cookie dough. hmm. thursday we had morning run. pathetic amount of people. everyone was asking why i didnt come. ah ng! ah ng! was saying that self training was a blast :( and there was the wedding rehersal. i cut my hair like finally. hahha. ate at scott's beef noodle. gary came to meet us. yeah. and what the hell. you know something? uncle paul ( gary's dad ) gave me 100 bucks to buy my shoe i was like. right. i was in shock. hahaha. reached the place. the twins were there. yay. took some time to get hype. yeah. love them to bits. hahaha. friday was basically detention and training. detention was alright. you know what? i called to change my extraction from monday to tuesday so i could train? and then boss said training changed to tuesday. ugh. i had to call up and change again. oh oh! thursday is OBS people outing :D!! eric called me during physics man. i was like dude i'm in school.hahaha. training was great. rebounding. defending. felt great. he said he likd to play with me in the back cos i'm always blocking out, rebounding and like yeah talking and encouraging :D reflection: good blocking out and rebounding. debbie too :D kim's passes was great. i think i did great defense. but i really need to work on my offense. so, for next training, my focus would be of course bebounding and defense. and also driving in and shooting. yeah. after that was bathe and home cell. then the next day church. played guitar. rarr. today's actually the day of the wedding. yeah. the 3 of us are wearing black. like totally. hahaha. it wasnt on purpose i swear!! hahaha. playing guitar again today. i dont know what are the songs!! hahaha yay! i cant wait christopher will be there and i havent seen him for years!!! whee!!! :D and the twins will be in 3 peice suits. oooh. exciting :D!!! cant wait. okay i gotta call eric now. see ya!!

training stinked 5th of january

2006-01-06T20:12:00.000+08:00

hmm. lessons were interesting with them around. hahaha. i was annoyed with mr tan though. rarr!!! i was trying to fix the name tags and got super glue on mine and shermin's hands. hahaha. i miss camp you know that? plus the fact that bebe is in my class, so every time someone calls her, i strain my eyes for bibi, then i snap back to reality. camp's over. she's gone. nothing would ever be the same again. all i have is the memories. memories to keep me awake at night. every time it rains, i think of the time we carolled in the rain. and the song " are you sleeping ", it always ends with bibi's name. hahah. i sound like i'm in love with her. hahah. training sucked. my knee hurt like jelly shit and yeah. i was damn pissed. you dont go around shouting at everyone. you dont. a captain isnt to shout at people. yes. once in a while that is needed. i use to think that using force was the best way. but after i stopped, i realised that i can reach out to the sec ones more. they start to respect you when you respect them. and that is where she goes wrong. for starters, she doesnt fufill her responsibilties. then she comes on court, shouting and acting like she's the boss and we have to listen to every word she says. sorry, but i cant accept that. he came. played match. and somewhere some time, that anger directed at him turned into an overwhelming grief and helplessness. no matter how much i try, how much i work, how good i play, how much i work my ass off, it's never good enough for him. never. anna can get ready to warm the bench cos anna isnt good enough. any pass not collected is my fault. i passed too hard, i passed too high or too low. it's me with the problem and i've come to accept that. i've come to accept that i'll never live up to his standards, that everything i do will never be right. it's my last year, my last shot. and i wont even get the chance. i wont get to play my heart out. cos anna's warming the bench this year. cos anna aint good enough. fuck you losers. cos i know i've worked hard and i deserve it more than some of the people. i dont ask to be liked. i just ask not to be discriminated against. i just ask to be appreciated and recognised. so screw the unfairness. screw YOU.

back to school

2006-01-04T21:46:00.000+08:00

hey there. havent had time to blog but yeah. hmm. there was that farewell for the lims on sunday. it was really fun. haha. the batman guy. i like that guy. hahaha. he's super funny. and cool. he's jewish. and he looks like steven cigal. hahaha. the funny thing is that he also looks like michael keaton. so this lady at the airport insisted that he was batman. and she kicked up a fuss saying "WHAT! you're refusing to give me an autograph?" hahaha. dude it was so funny. roflmao!!~ hahaha. and yeah. and he was the only who guessed the order of our family. haha. yeah. they were all cool people. and uncle augustine cooked his famous mee siam!! :D haha. oh wells. oh yeah. we also painted our room all through the night on new year. until 7 plus. yeah. it's so nice. it's stripes!! hahaha. me and gail's idea and implemention!! i cant really remember the other stuff we did. so yeah. school's okay. except that yeah. ms seah's our form again. hmm. mr yeo's our chem teacher. rarr. have been playing ball. and people have been jabbing my chest. bel too. it hurt from yesterday morning till now. oh no!! maybe i have breast cancer!! hahaha! hmm. training was like annoying. okay. wait jo was annoying. and her ugly boxers. i gotta go now. so yeah. hahaha. bye!!

i'm living for the day i see your face again..

2005-12-30T19:29:00.000+08:00

i read the transcript for lexmas.

awesome. it's one of those lex episodes that makes you sit up.

i always love it,

apart from the fact that a hottie's almost forever on screen,

hahaha, well,

he really adds a whole dimension to the character,

and it makes you wanna reach out and shush his fears.

you wont see lex the villian in the same way again.

cos beneath of all of that,

is so much hurts,

is years of being unloved by his father,

by lana.

years of rejection that makes him the villian he is.

and it's really sad seeing him give up the fight,

take the easy way out and let the little evil in him overcome the good.

now and then the good appears and it's so sad!!

and now my favourite quotes ( forgive me if it's inaccurate, it's from memory )

Lex: Clark, dont give up on me yet. "

and...

Lex: I was wondering, did the experiment create an evil me,

or did it already exist."

and!!!

Chloe: Why is it you hate you father so much?

Lex: Because he will never give me the one thing i want the most.

Chloe: And that is?

Lex: I want him to love me.

SOBS!!!

the saddest!!!

Lionel: Oh son.. if only i've.. if only i've seen.. if i've known.. ( immensly regretful ) things would have been so different.

Lex: Yeah dad, you might have actually loved me.

AHHH!!! this is driving me nuts!!

i'm living for the day i see your face again..

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

2005-12-29T19:27:00.000+08:00

i lost myself the day you walked away. nothing seems to matter cos the only one you need, isnt here. there is so many things inside of me i just cant find the words to express. i feel like what's her name from joy luck club, the moon lady. like i hoped for something that was impossible and then i fell from such a great height. i know i can be better, i can actually make a difference. but i really dont know how to go bout it. i need the strength to get up and do the things i'm supposed to do. i need to find the courage to live on, to live the right life. but most of all, i need you to be here with me. but every morning i wake, and i reach out for you, but the point is you arent there, i turn and look kfor your face, but i'm alone. and it seems right at that moment, my world crumbles, and my strength is sucked right out of me. it seems like nothing wont ever be the same. i still see that vivid image of you walking away, fading into the distance. the tears in my eyes, it has become quite a permanant feature of my face ever since you have left. i really need you here. all i'm left with is empty promises, hurt and i'm trying. it'm trying to forget. i really am. but time really doesnt heal all wounds. at least not for me. time just numbs the pain, cos i'm getting used to the hurt. but all it takes is just a word to tear down all my defenses. it takes so bloody long, i dont think this wounds would ever heal. and from experiences, the hurts and cuts there werent half as deep, they still leave so many stupid scars. they just freaking make me break down. cos one day, if by a miracle these wounds heal, i know there's bound to be scars. and those scars, they're there to haunt me, a painful reminder of you, of what i lost, a painful reminder of how dear you, you probably never loved me like i love you, most likely never will. damn the scars. damn it. damn the world. damn you. and damn it if the night doesnt always have a way of making me feel all alone, if it doesnt remind me of the times when there was only you and me, and nothing ever seemed to matter. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. "i'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all i've held onto, i'm standing here until you make me move, i'm hanging by a moment here with you."

balling

2005-12-29T12:15:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEL MY DEAR OTHER HALF!!! :D RARR!! yeah. woke up early to meet sharon, bel, li wei and supposedly joanne. we were supposed to play ball, but in the end headed down to town, cos i needed to pee, and we agreed to hop onto the very first bus that came. hahaha. so yes. as dumb as it is, we headed down to town to pee. hahaha. okay, in the end, we grabbed subway sandwhiches. me and bel wanted beard papa, but we were gonna be late to meet joanne ( we were supposed to meet at 11 ) so yeah, we ditched the idea. we were reaching when she happily called saying she was still at home watching tv. RARR!! we could have gotten beard papa!! it was a good thing we had the basketball with us. we played man jiang!!! i won!! at first i thought i overshot, then i counted again and realised i won. she finally came. not that i was looking forward to her arrival but yes. the main point was seeing who was a better player. trico or her. obviously it was trico. but hahaha. jo was wearing the shirt we were going to buy. one of the many she bought because we wanted to buy. RARR! and please. the red and white was SO hy. ugh!! cos i was late, bel's drink was my treat haha. corrissa and trico came. she was wearing that shirt that we wanted. hahaha. she was suprisingly friendly. though she shoots weird, she's really actually acurate. yeah. she's nice. hahaha. she was like what the fuck is with that joanne and started complaining. hahaha. jo was being bloody annoying and acting cute. she asked hy to play properly, when hello? she was the one who was sucky. she started going after me? crazy. hahaha. like as if i'm the one who take corrissa from her. she was like scared of trico? actually acted cute and asked her not to defend her? like what the hell. coward. elmo came. jia rui came. hahah. elmo asked me why i dont like jo. i told her to ask bel. and then bel said there used to be a 101 reasons. HAHA! you wouldnt guess corrissa said man. she was like WHOA! i bet now there's a 1001 reasons! HAHAH!!! roflmao!!~ me, sharon and trico were on one team. hy, jo, li wei on the other. we won 11-4? nice passes. then it was me, trico and li wei VS hy, jo and bel. we won 11-6. yeah. played with 2 guys 2 on 2. me and jo. we won 11-6. hahaha. some losers played with hy, sharon and trico, lost and couldt accept it. they insisted on playing again. subbed in for sharon. won again. then they were like again?! we were damn annoyed. so i was like face it, we're better. they shut up. haha. then there was that cute boy which just hated hy. haha. he pointed to everyone and said: looked at hy and said, i dont want that one. HAHA! roflmao!!~ then his dad called, he passed the phone and ask me to talk to his dad? hahaha. talked. had fun. went back at 4.30. cabbed back. yeah.. bathed. yadder yadder. in the end didnt meet her. uh huh. church was good.

swimming with the ngs :D

2005-12-27T13:01:00.000+08:00

hey there. i had fun yesterday. it's as good as it gets when there isnt you involved. so yeah. of course most of the fun was brought bout by the ngs. noah is so adorable. his eyes!! i love his eyes!! :D yeah. so all of us with the exception of noah went swimming. debbie and rebbekah came. uh huh. so we had lots of fun. except for the fact that it was sooooo crowded. yeah. i HATE crowded places. the twins were like being themselves. plus being like SUPER high. hahaha. which added extra cuteness to them. if that's even possible :D hahaha. yeah. all 12 of us ended up heading back at around 6 plus to bathe at our house. hahah. good thing that we have 12 bathrooms. yeah. the twins knocked out like at the complex when we carried them. so yeah. they slept in my room. prepared dinner/bathed. was gonna go down to buy drinks. steph woke joshie and caleb by talking so loudly. hahaha. josh went back to sleep, but caleb was gonna cry. so i picked him up. he fell asleep. then dad woke him up. in the end he went down with us to buy drinks. yeah. dinner was good. salmon with steamed chicken and chicken rice and soup. yeah. soup. hahaha. the twins favourite. at first they were soo hard to feed. they insisted on dinks, soup, yadder yadder, typical them. hahaha. then all of a sudden, they were so easy to please. hahah. went to jump on the bed with them, hahahha. caleb vommitted on my bed man. sick. hahahha. they bathed, changed into their PJs, and watched and stroked noah while he 'bathed'. hahah. so adorable. watched project runway/played with them on the 'bye bye chair' which is actually my mom's swivel chair. they were so happy. so before i swing them i go 'hello caleb! hello joshua! bye bye!' with other variations. but it always ended with a bye bye and a swing. so whenever they wanted a swing they would shout 'bye bye!!!' laugh and look so adorable. hahaha. it was so funny. and they started sweating just by sitting down. hahaha. i couldnt even go to the toilet in peace. both of them started banging on the door. hahaha. gee!!! i love them so much :D!! hahaha. watched grey anatomy. it's great!! everyone should catch it!!! every monday 11pm :D stupid rachel watched till the second season already :( not fair! hahaha. watched some movie. read magazines, went to sleep. well, today we're supposed to have OBS people outing but i'm seriously lazy to travel. and besides, it isnt as good as OBS itself. i miss camp!! i miss bibi. plus, i'm gonna be out whole day tommorrow. balling at 9 till dont know when. town. BIBI!!! and sasha. so yeah. church till like 10 pluus. reach home at 11? yeah. i'm gonna be shopping later at JP with my sisters for gail's present. so uh huh. and i dont know what else but yeah. laters. there's so much inside of me that i just cant explain. there's this thing inside that i feel that i cant ever let anyone feel. so meanwhile i'll keep it inside me, let my tears come out when there's no one there to see. dont worry cos you wont hear from me again, i'll be sure to keep my thoughts to myself. only i will know that i havent gotten over you. that you're still with me in my dreams. no one else will know that you still mean so much to me. i'll live this rest of my life alone, my pillows will still be wet when i wake in the morning, cos i'll try. i'll try not to cry cos you arent there. but i know i still will, i know it'll leave me so empty inside when i wake and dont see your face.

all i want for christmas is you

2005-12-26T13:01:00.000+08:00

hey hey. like i was saying, i went to catch narnia with rachel, val and some of her friends. yeah. it was good. hahaha. so many funny moments. that bloody pathetic bottle of minute maid cost me 3 bucks!!! WTH!! went 'shopping' trying to find steph's present. it was so unsuccessful and me and rachel ended up so shagged ( tired, shagged not shag shag. hahah! ) cabbed down to church. yadder yadder. saturday's worship was amazing. and the babies were there. so you can imagine. had a mini jamming session with robin gary and jacque. yeah. had dinner. watched them do the dance. it's so fun to do. hahaha. hmm. on christmas it was like yeah. tidying up the house cos there were people coming for dinner. hmm. as some of you guys know i dont celebrate christmas, in fact my whole church doesnt cos it's a pagaen festival and jesus wasnt really born on christmas day. it originated when the romans wanted to influence and include the olden days believers. yeah. 25th of December was actually the birth of the sun not the Son. so yeah. yadder yadder. BUT i dont mind the presents i know i'll get!! hahaha! elaine and the three babies and ken came over to collect "ken's" turkey. hahaha. uh huh. i tidied up my cupboard and folded my clothes and all. like finally!. i didnt know i had SO many shirts. blah blah. watched tv and all. waited for the people to come. we were soo hungry. the koks FINALLY arrived. hahah. ate. dinner was good. turkey with noodes, mushrooms etc etc. i'm trying to cut down on my posts because some peole are complaining they're soo long. haha. yeah. watched sweet home alabama. played jenga, screamed. played cards. did things we do. somehow wasnt as fun. yeah. i woke up to breakfast today. yeah. aunty eleanor came over. later in the day we're going swimming with the ngs :D!! cant wait!! i never knew someone could be so alone when they're surrounded by so many friends. i never understood how people could feel so happpy when they have like everything in the world. now i do. cos i dont have YOU.

cos i'm here without you, it doesnt get any better

2005-12-23T09:34:00.000+08:00

yesterday was balling with hy, bel, sharon and her. plus andre and the acjc basketballers and the CJ captain. yeah. it was good. rebounding and all. i played my heart out and it felt good. doing what i was made to do, jumping, taking shots, making things happen ( nice assists ). yeah. cos for a moment i sat there, just thinking and i thought, i wanna be the super defender i was. no, i wanna be better. and yeah. we played 4 on 4. i cant remember the score for that, but i know the next game we nearly won. 10-11. hahah. yeah. but what matters is giving all you have. played until 12.30. it started raining. we wanted to go down PS to watch narnia!!! hahaha. but they didnt want to unless it was my treat. neh neh. hahaha. in the end, me bel and sharon went to PS. bought sushi. met li wei. saw maria:D went to macs and yeah. corrissa and jia rui came. i was soooo full. hahahaa. we talked bout it. and we wandered around and was like typical us. in the end we went to play pool!! :D hahaha. first me and li wei VS sharon and bel. hahaha. we lost by one ball. i swear li wei only put in like 3 balls? hahaha. the next game she warmed up abit. hahaha. i played against her. won. played with sharon and yeah. lost by one ball. cos of corrissa!! i was gonna hit the last ball then she pushed me. and i fouled. so sharon got a free ball :( hahaha. the beng/ lians were damn annoying. RARR! i wanted to say something but corrissa said to give her face. so yeah. met juli peh. went back. eh!!! i want an OBS outing!!!! :D PLEASE?!! hahaha. and bibi!!! and sasha!! cant wait!!! i really miss camp :( and i can feel the distance between us growing, and growing. and it makes me really sad. well, yesterday they said they never saw this side of emotional me. but i guess i try to hide it. i try to hide it from myself. i go around plastering a smile, laughing and cracking jokes. i try to be happy, to be satisfied. but cos i'm here without you, it doesnt get any better than this. i'm trying to find something to fill this hole inside of me, this emptiness that existed ever since you left. i know it's supposed to be Him. but i dont know why i just cant. which is why i miss camp so much. cos for a very long time since you left, during that 5 days i actually felt complete, i truly actually felt happy. the people around me filled up that empty space you left behind. but those 5 days are over, and i wouldnt believe it but i'm left with a bigger space nothing seems to fill. i can only forget it for a while, when i'm giving my 120% on court. but other times, i'm so much emptier than i started out to be. all the promises are just empty words. we all said that we would not drift apart. well YOU said things would not change, that you would still love me as much. sometimes i blame myself for not being enough motivation to stay.

BBQ

2005-12-21T17:36:00.000+08:00

hey. since saturday, not many things have happened. although there was sunday which was really fun. the BBQ was like hahaha. the twins were like totally photogenic and blah blah. yadder yadder. when i first saw the fire i was like OBS!!!! hahaha. it was just bricks on the floor. yadder yadder. even though i havent been saying it as often, i really do still miss OBS. i really still miss bibi!! yay!!!! we're gonna meet her next wednesday!!! which is like one week away!! so near yet so far! hahaha. :( okay. side tracked. yeah. hahaha. the fire gary built was like pathetic. hahaha. then i arranged the charcoal like boss taught and voom! a fire!! hahaha with the help of an electronic fan. hahah. the first time ever i went to a BBQ and we used an electronic fan. lmao! the twins were so adorable ( as usual ) insisting to help fan the fire. hahaha. i like the picture fanny took with caleb's sunglasses and macho pose. noah was like the guest star. so lots of talking and lame jokes with gary and elizabeth and jacque. yadder. lots of babies. then okay. first me and gary went into the dark room and scared people. then eliz and jacque came in. hahaha. so me and gary started a pillow fight in the dark. and the light. cos the lights kept going on and off. hahah. jarren and jehian came in. jacque wrapped jarren in a blanket and all of us hit him. hahah. i loved in when the lights when off, cos you could hit everyone and no one knew it was you!! hahaha. elizabeth thought she was hitting jacque and she was hitting me. i was like HEY!! hahaha. should have seen her face!! she was like AH! wrong person. what started out as 4 people became like all the youth cramming into that small room whacking each other. ah man. that was fun. it was like really funny, all of us screaming shouting, whacking like crazed murderers. hahaha. and then caleb pulls open the door and everyone just freezes. hahaha. like he's the innoncent that brings peace. hahaha. dude.

here without you baby

2005-12-18T15:44:00.000+08:00

"Here Without You"

A hundred days have made me older

Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

A thousand lies have made me colder

And I don't think I can look at this the same

But all the miles that separate

Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'

As the people leave their way to say hello

I've heard this life is overrated

But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl its only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go

It gets hard but it wont take away my love

And when the last one falls

When it's all said and done

It gets hard but it wont take away my love

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl its only you and me

damn it if this song doesnt get me depressed,

doesnt get me thinking about all of you.

of everything we had or didnt.

it's that haunting image of you.

it doesnt fade.

i dont forget.

the pain doesnt disappear.

time just numbs it.

and all it takes is just a simple thing like a song to rip the wound open.

to send the tears flowing.

damn it if i dont think bout you enough.

i know i've already blogged today. i just wanna do it again. cos saying things make it feel a teenie lil better. i'm left here, and there's so many people around me. but you know what, i feel so alone. so cold and forsaken. and this song that's playing in my head. it just says so much.

it doesnt help the way i'm feeling.

i thought i've forgotten,

that i got over you.

that i dont remember all that pain.

but i'm thrown back into square 1 again.

and i found myself sitting there,

unable to stop the memories from playing,

unable to stop the tears from coming,

unable to defend myself aginst the pain that hit me.

just because i try not to talk about it,

does not mean i'm over it,

that i ever feel better,

or that i'm ever gonna be okay.

i believed that once.

i cant.

not anymore.

sentosa

2005-12-18T11:05:00.000+08:00

i'm burnt!!

and my nose is peeling!!!

hahaha. but let me start by explaining why.

on friday,

i woke up at 6.30.

i changed yadder yadder.

made my way down to harbour interchange.

reached at 8

i thought i was late?

i almost cabbed.

it was a good thing i didnt.

only lin and amanda

and 2 of the sec ones were there.

waited and waited.

went to starbucks to grab a mocha frap and that mushroom thingy and their chips.

lin had 3 subways cookies.

went back and hy and all were already there.

boarded the shuttle bus to sentosa.

the 3 of us,

debbie, me and sharon were wearing our nike jerseys :D

sharon's was ultra sexy,

plus her FBTS,

she looked like a girl for once.

hahaha.

mine and debbie's were ultra long and covering our FBTS.

so we looked naked.

hahaha.

we tucked in hah.

played ball at siloso.

me, debbie, sharon and amanda VS germaine, wai cheng, lynn, joleen and hui wen.

we won.

haha.

suprise.

went into the water.

dunked everyone.

hahaha.

no one managed to dunk me man.

hahah.

we threw germaine into the water.

hahah.

she attempted to dunk me,

but only succeeded in pulling out my hair.

hahahah.

saw some guys using our basketball,

we went to play with them.

5 on 5.

they nearly lost?

hahaha.

5-7.

then they hurriedly ran away.

hahah.

played for a while.

another group came in.

10-11.

we lost.

hahaha.

but come on.

we played a good game.

those assholes left me alone inside.

we were all playing bare footed on the hot ground.

me and hy were th only ones jumping and running.

the rest of the asses e.g sharon, bel and debbie just stayed there and did shooting.

neh.

hahaha.

the jason guy was like super funny.

forever over the board.

i hate playing with half naked guys.

haha

if they have sweaty shirts it aint that bad.

just disgusting sweaty and oily bodies are like YUCK.

plus the fact i was the centre.

so there was alot of body contact.

YUCK.

haahha.

hy was damn funny.

EEEE!!! what's this?!!

hahaha.

and that fuck too high guy!

haahha.

lmao!!

fast forward.

went to palawan.

man those americans wrestling each other was entertainment.

one looked like a rock star,

the other super size me,

and the last looked like some boy band singer.

hahah.

then there was the other group that got fascinated by little things such as:

2 birds flying in the sky.

hahaha.

their wrestling was darn funny/obscene cos in the struggle to get 1 of them dunked they did quite a bit of groping.

hahaha!

me and hy were like erm.

built our sandcastle with the moat.

but the tide went down so it was like an empty moat.

hahah.

went for lunch at harbour.

oh man.

there were people caroling downstairs.

horrid singing man.

seriously.

went back.

yeah.

yesterday the twins came.

like finally!!!

hahaha.

i felt so bad depriving them of the wine!!

hahaha.

and they wanted to go home with us!! hahaha.

caleb went " bye bye papa!!"

joshie went " bye bye nai nai! bye bye tini!"

hahaha.

then they refused to let ken carry them.

in the end me and steph carried them down.

when we put them in the car,

they just super started pouting!

hahaha.

so adorable.

aha.

had jamming session.

it was fun.

balling and nike jersey

2005-12-14T18:09:00.000+08:00

actually, my previous post was much more detailed. but the whole part of it was actually deleted. i bet kwan's happier now that she has to read less. hahaha. she's being a fag, not wanting to go on friday, not wanting the sun. what a wuss. hahaha. hmm. training today was like 9 people. me, hy, lin, bel, sharon, debbie, germaine, lynn and hui wen. pathetic. then again, i didnt expect more. we did lay ups. we did passing. we broke the sec ones record. 76 passes. a record indeed with so many sec ones doing it. haha. played match. it was fun. won and won. thundered and thundered. nice passes :D by me of course. hahaha. and rebounding. it felt so good. doing that thing i did. hahaha. all 9 of us went to ikea. ate bk. went to queenway. bought nike reversible jersey. it was only like 25 bucks man!! that's freaking cheap. hahaha. HY and her 10 bucks FBT jerseys. we bought boxers. all the same funky ones. hahaha. went to play ball at bel's house there. hahaha. the guys were damn annoying. rebounding was fun :D hahha. i became back the super defender again. at first we lost to the guys 11-4. then we won!! hahaha. 11-10. the guy's hang time was like really long. SNG look- alike man. i will miss sng you know. but he was very solo. and the guys were pussies. hah!! i could get so many rebounds from them! hahaha. and the guy was so weak!! i even snatched ball with him and won!!!! hahahaha. the green shirt guy molested HY. ROFLMAO!!!~~ half way through the game, we got really annoyed. and we started passing hilarious comments. hahaha. lmao!! hahah. we were saying they werent gentlemen, just men. hahaha. we were passing some really retarded comments. went back. tried the jersey. it's really big everywhere, except for the chest it's small!! hahaha RARR!! i thought for a moment i grew like sock lin okay. then debbie told me it was small for her there too. PHEW!! hahaha.

queens match

2005-12-13T21:42:00.000+08:00

bloody hell. he was choosing top 12. it was damn unfair. first he chose jo, kim, bunny, lin, amanda, li wei., debbie, wan ling. and then he paused. then he chose sue li and adela. what the hell. i didnt even see adela at training for yonks. i really felt like crying. he chose some other people i cant remeber who. he said i fought with the sec ones. wtf. i started crying. bel came over and all. even li wei said it was damn unfair. i didnt even start the fight. joanne was the one who called her an ah lian. she happily just pushed the whole thing to me. AGAIN. i wasnt the only one involved. i found it so unbelievable. RARR. i couldnt stop crying. joanne tried to come over when bel was talking to me. i told her to leave me alone. she went off. she came back again and touched me on the shoulder. i smacked her hand away. and she gave that bloody face and said " you want to know why you're not playing? " i wanted to shout "fuck off cos you dont even know what's happening, you have no right to speak, you are the second last person i wanna see, the last being patrick. " i messaged ms mak. she came up agaiin. we went to talk. she knew it was all cos he was biased. but RARR. she apologised for not being able to help. when it wasnt even her fault. he was being damn childish. she said he doesnt even talk to her now. bloody hell. FAST FORWARD. they won the match. played ball with hy and sharon. then played 5 on 5 with queens. we won. bah. was feeling lousy. went to eat at great world. introduced hy to the world of ben & jerry's. hahaha. went to zara. chose clothes for hy to try on. hahaha. hy wanted to say that i had dont know what. she ended up saying i was perfect. hahaha. and she was like shit. wrong word. now her ego is gonna be like shit. hahaha. went back. went to work. did soldering and all. super fun :D