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MY WORLD

prime is disturbing
Thursday, March 30, 2006

bryan greenberg. yeah. that's the guy in prime. and it's so sweet. he's so sweet in the movie. but the thing is, they arent really together in the end!! arghh!!! what's so hard bout ending the show with them holding hands or kissing!?! "i wish you shelter in a storm, i wish your fires to keep you warm, i wish you well.." rarr. it's so sweet the story line, and you expect them to get together after everything they've been through and overcomed, but NO! WHY?!! they obviously still loved each other! "cos sometimes you love, and you learn, and then you move on.." yeah. i'll get over it. what the fuck is wrong with me now? why do i feel like i've got a whole chunk of me missing? that person is wrong. it's not better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all. since the last time i've updated, i've had lots of things to do. but not one was the thing really want to do. what i've always wanted to do. just hold you close. so it's been library and lots of reading. swimming and movies, dvds, sleepovers and what not. yeah. it was fun. did i mention i have 24 books to read within 14 days? maybe not. haha. hmm. the fun thing on wednesday was having the ngs over for meeting. and yeah. today during biology, mrs leong was teaching hereditery. and she took a set of genes, and she just simply switched it around and that meant a different eye color, and different hair color. and i was thinking. how amazing is that, that for the color of your eyes, of your hair to change all you have to do is to pluck something and place it somewhere else and everything changes. and then it just struck me there and then, isnt that what Yahweh had done? simply touched me and i was changed? simply spoke a word and i live? simply thought it and one died? did He not only have to speak and the world moved? " You spoke the world into motion. " amazing yeah? amazing and so wonderful, so powerful. Whitney, my love by Judith McNaugh was awesome. it had me on the verge of tears. " Owner of wealth so incomrehensible now lay next to the woman he loved, helpless to either help her or regain her. " " They all could not satisfy. Their eyes were not green, nor were their hair the right shade. They were not.. Whitney.." " And in doing so, he lost far more than she. He lost the only thing that ever mattered, that he ever sought to gain. Her. Lying next to him loathing him.." when he realised what he did! gosh that book was amazing. and when he washed her like as if he were a servant because he realised what he did. GOSH. tommorrow is lit on stage. i havent touched my script except during rehersals. DIE. it's so much easier when i write my own script. why does my life feel so empty? why do i feel so lonely? i wish i knew what could fill this void in me besides you. i wish i could have it. anything.

The Girl Behind the Screen, 6:41 PM

the hols are here
Wednesday, March 15, 2006

okay. this week has been packed with activities back to back :D on sunday, i cant remember what we did. but i remember coming back and watching grey's anatomy. so good. we did some nonsense and went to sleep at 2 am. then on monday, instead of going swimming with the ngs, we went out with them to suntec. hahah. she told us to meet at 2.30. we left at 2. cos we knew that she would definetely be late. hahaha. so we walked and gossiped. told ghost, camp stories and basically remembered all our fun camps. so many memories :D i really miss all of them. we reached suntec we took our time to walk around and window shop. bought the godva chocolixir. it was sooo good. too bad they ran out of the dark chocolate one. finally met elaine and the twins. bought 16 movie tickets then went to buy the prizes and all. needless to say we bought other things too. hahaha. the "drink your milk" hahaha. gail was so mean. she asked elaine "eh, you sure got your size or not?" hahaha. then after that she said "i dont think so. it looks like it's for kids. not for old people la." hahahah!!! then joshie and lebby kept playing bang bang and hide and seek. stephenie knocked down the whole display of kiddy sofas! haha. yadder yadder. i cant believe they lay down on the floor! so dirty! hahah. it was a really long day. we reached the Ng's place at around 9. ate chicken rice. hahhaa. caleb was so into the mutton bones, chewing it like mad. hahaha. and ken was so fascinated with him. hahaha. then caleb started talking to the mutton man! hahaha. couldnt get over it. they started jumping from the sofas and all. so cute! joshie slapped me playfully. then i pretended to be angry. then he was so cute!! he poked my back and in the act cute act cute voice he went "jie jie". hahaha. i couldnt stop laughing. then he stuck his face in front of mine and started laughing. i love their new song! hahah. so cute. hmm. me and andrea stayed over but we sent them back first cos it was like midnight. then we went for joyride cos elaine actually wanted snacks. stayed up trying to find new questions for the human bingo. hahha. it was damn funny. we ended up sleeping at 3. i thought i would wake up damn late? but i woke up at 7 cos noah was laughing so loudly to himself. so adorable!!! played with him. joshie woke up. i love them man! hahaha. he put chocolate in my hair!! hahaha. ken put on a singlet. then he was like "eh! hunk right!!?" hahaha. then he started posing. what the hell!! joshie started choking. hahaha! left. picked up the tans and all the people. went down. waited and waited. finally went into the theatre. the show was good. damn funny. i dont mind watching it again!! hahah. hottie!! cabbed back down to the tan's place. played the games and all. ate dinner. and the chocolate coated marshmallows, strawberry and bananas!! fattening. great dark chocolate. hahaha. played with the twins. haha. blanket game was like super fun man!! first i was over with sarah. then we like won over all the people except for jarren and debbie! haha. then sarah and me went over. we had so many diguises. i tied my hair, wore sarah's glasses and then the blanket dropped. jehian was like EH EH! hahaha. super fun man!! we won alot of people over. hahaha. so fun man. i remember the last time we played it. with the soos. there were so many twins it was so fun man! hahaha. we played murderer. hahaha. whee. stupied andrea took so long to come down. we styaed over at the tan's. talked. you know the stuff they do at sleepovers. left in the afternoon, went to aunty joyce's house. watched DVDs, went to church. aunty yen and uncle paul sent us home. on thursday, i woke up so early to go to school, for a pathetic 45 minutes. i never would have gone if i didnt promise benny. hahaha. i forced chermin to come down with me. whee. waited for debbie. then we went to town. waited for val. decided to eat at cafe cartel. only when we finished she came man. hahaha. we bluffed her we were damn hungry. she was so guilty. hahaha. they made me watch the movie "yours, mine and ours" again. hahaha. but it was good. "Go kelly! Go kelly! The other team is smelly! They're quaking like they're jelly! We've got sisters from New Dehli!" hahahaha!! it was damn funny. after that we walked around. we watched the 17 thing and signed up for the card. went back. watched DVDs :D damn funny. stealth and upperclassman. "Just tell me you love me you pussy!" HAHA! that was PRICELESS. friday. went to meet corissa and debbie. as usual they were late. and we kept changing meeting place. went to bugis junctio. cos debbie wanted to try chapter 2. walked for so long. i finally found my maroon adidas shorts!! :D in the end, chapter 2 was at bugis street. went over. cut hair. hahaha. it was damn funny. cos there was those girl magazines. hahaha. then the guy looked at us. hahaha. he took away my female magazine and put HAHA!! men's health. we couldnt stop laughing. we walked around. shopped. PS. paragon. taka. yeah. went back. cant remember. stayed over at elaine's on saturday. played pictionary and taboo. hahaha. damn fun!! and yeah. i got 82 for english!! i told my parents bout my results for math. they started nagging me. asking bout what i wanted to do. my head was screaming: newsflash. i dont know what else i want in my life. i dont know anything other than you. i lost all of my sanity, my sense of direction, the day YOU waled away. i dont know any other joy. how can i find hapiness without you? when i was with you, i found delight in every single little thing. the wealth of joy was overwhelming. now that it isnt there anymore, i'm so empty. i've always been surrounded by loneliness, sorrow. but now it's more noticecable, more unbearable. cos i've got a glimse of the other side.. in YOU..

The Girl Behind the Screen, 2:59 PM

EFL and the movie sucked!!!
Saturday, March 11, 2006

NEVER EVER WATCH THE MOVIE DATE MOVIE. it is not only a waste of money, but a big time waste of cash. we basically sat in there and talked and slept and messaged. okay let's start from the top. we all wore our OBS shirts to school. it felt GOOD. i miss OBS, but most of all, i miss bibi :( she's being a big time asshole. it's her birthday on the 16th okay. how exciting. back to the point. hmm. EFL was good. it actually was really fun. HUM-PA-FA-LUM. hahaha. and chiwawa. and the face paint. and playing tag. and the piggy back fight. me and sasha are the champions!! i piggy backed her. hahaha. and the marker inks from her hands got on my face la. hahaha. and i think i scratched her with my braces. we were supposed to write notes. but i ran out of paper. so i started writing on wee jia's thigh. after that everyone started writing on everyone man. hahaha. it was fun. like my whole cuff had words. i didnt feel like scrubbing it off :D after that, we all rushed down. the movie was horrid. the bus ride was damn funny man. hahahah!!! the "do you have breasts?!" and the APNN guy nearly sitting on my head. ahaha!! after the movie our moods were spoilt.. so i went back. i saw tricocia again! hahaha. on the bus there was this whole group of models. american models. hot models. like reeal models. the nokia model and all. i got to see theirr portfolio!! she was saying that she got the 25000 bucks job and yadder yadder. so cool!! they had photo shoot at the beach today. awesome man. :D gotta go. see ya.

The Girl Behind the Screen, 10:44 PM

EFL and i feel so alone
Thursday, March 09, 2006

i've never felt so alone in my life before. the loneliest, most desolate spot on earth is to love and not be loved in return. yes. i havent updated for a really long time. this week has been up and down for me. more of downs actually. hmm. yeah. basically monday was crap. pure, undiluted crap. the meeting sucked. i dont wanna talk bout it. actually i dont feel like talking bout anything. there wasnt a single day i didnt stop to think bout you. bout how it would feel like to hold you again. there wasnt a single day i havent felt so alone. i dont know. i really dont know what to do. and i find myself on the brink of tears time and time again. over you. this is so difficult. more than i can bear. do you realise that if you take all i said bout us on my blog alone there would be so damn much to read? down to earth anna. down to earth. i had biology lessons and after that i sat in the canteen reading my book waiting for my sister. tuesday. i cant remember what happened on tuesday actually. i think i went home instead of going maria's house to bake. well, it sucked. face it. my life sucks without you. cos it just aint fun anymore. you've taken all the color with you. my world's in black and white. wednesday it was EFL and it was well, boring. haha. first i had to wake up at 5 A.M. maria. hahah. she thought her ez link card and all was in her uniform in the machine and she waited for it to stop spining. except it was on the table! hahah. and she missed her bus. the lady was well annoyingly so domineeringly annoying. haha. then i argued with her. hahah. and she said in front of everyone:" what's your name? anna right?" i was like " no. na an. " hahah. then she decides to give me 100 points. cos she says that i'm damn funny. hahah. and bout how i argued with her. i was laughing like mad man. hahahah. we played cards then she came to nag. she called us "the unbeatables" you know the gambling show? hahaha. yeah. then after all that, we went to eat sushi buffet. me, sasha, zhi yi, maria, debbie, valerie, chermin and clarissa. only five of us ate. all the bimbos didnt. we stacked the plates until maria couldnt see zhi yii. hahah. we ate 42 plates? yeah. hhahaha. stalked shermin to see irwin. hahaha. he's damn white!!? and he looks like a girl. and shermin is mean to him! hahaha. but i seriously didnt picture him to be like that. hahaha. went back. helped gary chose songs. slept. played guitar. turn back time, rewind the clock. i wish i could. i really wish. then i would pause at the part when there was only you and me.. today actually we were all going to skip, meet at 10 for breakfast at queensway's macs. all planned nicely right? i dont know what happened. actually i'm lazy to say. in the end only sasha zhi yi and val skipped. all stupid maria's fault! HMMPH!! go look at debbie's blog. hahaha. i love the show grey's anatomy!!! some one buy me the DVD please!! HAHAH!

The Girl Behind the Screen, 8:45 PM

big momma's house 2!! hahaha!!
Thursday, March 02, 2006

today was accounts. one word. flunk. well, school sucked. stupid sasha and the stupid note. hahaha. after school, we all went down town. me, val, sasha, zhiyi, debbie and maria. we watched big momma's house. funny shit hell. i laughed like nuts. at least it got my mind off you. for a while that is. so yeah. i went to draw money. stupid. they were all trying to see my pin man. hahaha. didnt succeed. stupid zhi yi ma. pressed 1000 bucks. hahaha. obviously there wasnt enough so transaction cancelled. next stupid debbie/sasha pressed 100. bloody hell. walking around with so much cash. i will spend it man! i need to deposit back. asses. hahaha. then they tried to steal my money to take neos. hahah. at first only sasha tried to. then debbie helped. hahaha. she was like touching and everyone was staring. hahaha. and i started shouting "RAPE!!! RAPE!!!" HAHA! they stopped. maria wanted to pay for the neos. in the end we forced her to take the money. went back around 6. took a short nap. ate dinner. didnt eat lunch, but just wasnt hungry. have been studying since. and there i was, trying to mind my own buisness, but suddenly, i cant get you off my mind, i cant sleep without dreaming of you, i cant think without seeing you. oh man. boy am i in for it. you promised me that what you didnt have in money, you would make it up to me in love, ten fold.. do you see those stars? i love you all the way to those stars and back. look up there and see how high we can dream. maybe one day i'll be able to tell you this: i wish you well. i cant offer you anything else, so i wish you well, dont you get it? i wish you big soft beds with clean sheets. i wish you warm fires on cold blustery night and hammocks for spring days. i wish you christmas trees and homemade cookies and fat pupies and sweet smelling babies to make you smile. i wish you ice cream and thick green grass beneath your bare feet. i wish you butterflies when you jog and moonbeams at nights and dreams that reach the stars and i wish you peace.. i wish you well. i wish you love, and i wish that whoever it comes from loves you even a tenth as much as i love you, because that would be enough for a lifetime. it would be enough to warm your bed, to touch your heart.. this thing bout novels. it goes way back to you and our non-happy ending. this is why i love happy endings, cos i never got mine. and it creates and illusion that someday i would. but reading them, watching them, it only shows how much i've missed out on. you know on those really bad days i wish i never met you. but dont they say " it's better to have loved and lost love than to never have known it at all.." i dont know what the hell i'm doing with my life. i've got no direction in my life. where am i even going? i need a purpose, a reason to live. and that reason was and still is you. but now you're gone. where does that leave me?

The Girl Behind the Screen, 10:17 PM

  

ANNA CHEN JIEMIN
17 JULY 1990
SAINT THERESA'S CONVENT
GUITARIST AND CHILD OF YAHWEH
SINGAPORE
BASKETBALLER
PATRIOT.NOT

WHITE
The One who gave His life for me
My family
My friends
Big brothers and Little sister :D PJLA
Basketball and basketballers
Writing songs, poems
Music
Coffee (Starbucks over Coffee bean anytime :D)
Ben & Jerry's
Carl's Junior
Sushi
Travelling round the world
Photography
Backpacking
Kids
Grey's Anatomy!! :D
Friends Season 1-10!
Reading!!
Happy endings
Hotties and NICE EYES! :D
OBS!

BLACK
Goodbyes
Satan
Broken promises
Back stabbers
Air pollutants
Abusive parents
Abortions

GOLD
Psalm 27
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and they fell.
3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise up against me, in this will I be confident.
4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to enquire in His temple.
5 For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavillion: in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me; He shall set me upon a rock.
6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in His taberncale sacrifices of joy: I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me and answer me.
8 When Thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
9 Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger: Thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
11 Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the Lord.