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MY WORLD

zathura
Wednesday, November 30, 2005

let me say something. you say you try. well, you know what? you dont. you tell hy you think you're a bad capt. and for the first time in your life you're correct. but you dont do anything bout it. she didnt come for training today. she said she had to go make her IC. i some how find it hard to believe she had to make it on a training day. and even better, i dont belive she went to make it in the morning before 11. so any how, she could have come for training first even if there was no other day she could have made her IC. i talked to bibi yesterday and she said i should let it affect me so much. i'm trying. i really am. but all of it is so hard to ignore. i woke up today, my muscles aching, my knee and back hurting. i had a headache, but i went down for training anyways. reached late cos there was a real bad traffic jam. we had like 8 people? debbie slept late. AGAIN. she? she had to make her IC. or rather, she didnt wanna come for training. making her IC was just an excuse. we did dribbling and all. i mastered the moves :D i was the only one who could do the behind the back thing? i'm so proud of myself!!! hahaha. he made us do some seriously serious bollywood stuff. cos only me and judy could do the shifting the weight thing. did lay ups. hardly missed any today :D we played 3 on 3. okay. me and judy and wai cheng. grrr. we were so annoyed with her. couldnt do anything. rarr. dont wanna talk bout it. played 5 on 5. the team splitting was so unfair. again!! never mind. i got back my defense. and he was so annoying. i intercepted the ball around like 4 times. and EVERY single time, he paused the game, and when he restarted the game, he gave the ball to them. i was so irritated. and angry. and that's an understatement. they had really bad fouls, and he refused to call it. he said it was my fault. even after lin said she fouled, he refused to change his decision. even lin apologised. i honestly was too angry to think straight. i put in nice shots too though :D i met debbie. went to town. bumped into elmo. talked and took pictures. rarr. met gwen. we boutght tickets for zathura, and in the end, sasha said she was sick. and she couldnt come. so we asked wee jia to come down. met sylvia and her sister. zathura was really funny. hahahah. you have gorgeous eyes. dude. it's sooooo much better than jumanji! way better. and it's funny. hahaha. the guys behind us were pervertic. they wanted to see the older sister naked. hahaa. i turned and STARED at them. they shut up. hahahaa. went to cafe galilee, played the tower thing. we managed to make it go damn high. and stupid wee jia SHOOK the table. neh neh. i say goodbye tong.

The Girl Behind the Screen, 6:34 PM

a child is born
Tuesday, November 29, 2005

happy birthday to noah who was born at 1527 hours on the 29th of septmember 2005, weighing a total of 3kg. he was nearly strangled by the amblical cord but the doctors managed to remove it. he really looks like joshie and is handsome too! hahaha. hmm. my day today. i had to drag myself to work. i was so dreading it. office work is so monotone. rarr. but i promised to work so yeah. so yeah. work work and work. i was still in the 'i miss obs' mood so yeah. i had you know the cotton twine we used for camp, and pens. and i started building a mini raft! hahaha. sasha called me nuts. we're gonna conference call with bibi later :D hahaa. she said give her 15 minutes to bathe. i dont believe! hahaha. we're painting our room right now. they chose an ugly color. i chose orange!! :D rarr. i try to hide all the hurt with a smile. i try going through each day being a happy person, pretending i dont care. i try. i really do. but when i'm all alone at night, i dont have to pretend anymore. cos i'm all alone. like i always am. i'm afraid to open up and let people in. cos with each hello comes a goodbye. and that hurts so much. i mask my pain and rejection. i try to fill this empty void inside of me, but no one, nothing else can ever fill it. cos i'm afraid to try. i'm afraid to open up and let anyone in. the world passes me by, no one stops to say anything to me. i'm invisible and no one sees me, no one cares. i hoped for too much, aimed too high. then i missed and fell, and fell from that great a height.. so now i lie crumbled and rejected, broken and empty..

The Girl Behind the Screen, 10:49 PM

missing it all..
Monday, November 28, 2005

right now, i wanna sit down with bibi and sasha and talk my ass off. whatever it takes. it just felt so right. the 3 of us sitting there just talking, bonding and laughing our asses off. i've come to really realise how big a part of my life they've become. i miss OBS. i miss the raining night. i miss the heavy backpack, waking up to find my friends next to me, and everyday when i wake, i'm surrounded by my friends, and there's always someone to talk to. messaging my friends in the morning isnt the same. not at all. grr. i feel so annoyed at myself for opening myself up to hurt. to letting people in so quick, allowing myself to be vulnerable. AGAIN. it was you that has made me this afraid to dare. i feel dumb. cos i keep reading that post bout OBS. time and time again. hoping that maybe if i read it enough i could go back. those 5 days, they're like a grain of sand in an hour glass, but they mean so much. it's like really something you experience once. and once you experience it, your life wont ever be the same again. i thought i would be over it by now. but no. i still miss that five days. grr. never thought it would be like that when i stepped into camp. now these bites and this scars are all i have left of the camp.. went for training. he really hates me. although for once in a really long time he praised me. played match. i'm really rusty. grrr. i still hold a grudge against him for suspending me for so long and for so many times. he insulted my english when he refused to believe there was a phrase "silence can be deafening" he said some nonsense bout darkness shining in light. i was like darkness cant shine. and he insulted my english and literature. he said it suck. whoa. like hello? apparently i have never failed any of those subjects all my life? i have gotten mostly A1s and the lowest Bs? we said another goodbye again. tong hy sharon and lam came down. i hate goodbyes. i hate the vicious cycle of meeting someone, getting attatched and then having to say goodbye. no matter what they say, that they'll keep in touch, we'll drift. look at eric. i hate hellos, and when you hate it most, when you begin to get attatched, when you open up and let someone in, no matter how much it hurts, how much it has to be torn away from you, down the road, comes a goodbye. am i being emotional? i think not. i really hate it. so many times in my life. i really cant take it. i'm begining to feel depressed. i can count so many people who walked out. with promises that things wouldnt change. empty promises. i guess maybe sometimes i blame myself that i'm not motivation enough to stay. i hate the way it makes me feel inside each time someone walks away. i hate the emptiness inside. the way it feels like part of me is slowly being torn away from me. that picture of someone's back turned on me, walking away has become such a vivid and frequent image.. they say time heals all wounds. well i'll tell you something. they lied. it just numbs the pain. and every time something else happens, the numbness wears off, the wound is being slashed open again. they lie when they say that you'll get over it. cos the scars are always there, a frequent reminder of all the hurt. they say someone else will take that place. they lie. cos no one else will ever be that exact same person.. words cant express what i'm feeling right now.. a song is what i'm going to write now.. goodbye. that has got to be the most dreaded word ever in the dictionary..

The Girl Behind the Screen, 9:20 PM

highness
Sunday, November 27, 2005

my day yesterday was PACKED. haahha. i couldnt sleep all night. woke up every hour. hahaa. finally got out of bed at 7.30 and took a bath. went down to tiong to meet them. funky hair gwen! hahaha. heh. waited for sasha who happily strolled in. met chess and debbie. hahaha. reached seng kang at like 9. debated where to walk to. finnaly asked for directions. all the instructors were sitting at starbucks! hahaha. i ran and jumped behind bibi and shouted BIBIANA KOH! hahaha. she got a shock of her life man. hahaha. told us to go ahead. blah blah. the thing was sooo boring. it was a good thing the 3 of us were sitting together. ahaha. we had our mini conversation. so funny. LMAO. which for your information bibi is laughing my ass off :D hahaha. and played bingo. stupid blur sai suprisingly won. neh neh. we tried to sneak out. then that stupid andy got us back in. and blur sai happily just announced our name and pushed us into a group can? neh neh. we went for lunch after that. me and nicole didnt eat. bibi gave me a lift to kovan. i expected her call to be some old ah peh ah peh car? haha. it was a funky lime green herbie which she named dash. like right. hahaha. lina picked me up. went to church. blah blah. drums were horrid. i had to do some adjusting to the sound system. in the end, we changed drummer. charged the camera batteries. sasha told me to hurry, in the end i took the camera and didnt take the batteries?! neh neh. went to clementi. met mabel and all. shared cab. the taxi driver was like. you guys break camp? i was like no? he was like finish O levels or A level? i was like erm. neither? and he asked me oh!! you in which university? i was like HUH!? bibi came! i managed to persuade her. to all you neh neh gossip mongers out there who have nothing to do: bibi and sasha are just friends. the three of us are just friends. if you all are so childish in your thinking then so be it. and there were anything going on, it would be a threesome thing. aye?! hahahaa. we didnt eat much. except for sasha who was gorging herself. bibi didnt eat at all. gwen's dad left us alcohol. big mistake. i felt so bad for zi ping. we went up to talk. me, sasha, bibi and debbie. it was fun and the best part of the night. just talking. hahaha. we were talking bout the rumours and i was like " i mean how can you like someone in five days? " and bibi went: " no. no. " i was like ? and then she said " how can you like someone in five days? " and me and sasha were like what the hell! wasnt that what she just said!!! hahhaa. roflmao!!~ then bibi got started and started laughing at EVRYTHING that moves. hahaah. went down. cooked for bibi. drank. went back up cos it was too noisy. and everyone was so wasted. hahaha. played mastermind. this time sasha put the pins. and she put blue, yellow, red, green. i put blue, red, yellow, green. and by the second one i got it right. it was freaky man. hahaha. went up into another room this time gwen's room was packed with all the drunks who couldnt hold their liquor. ravinder and zi ping were the worst. we went and talked. but we didnt get much peace this time. but we talked bout more serious stuff. too many intruders. it was a good thing she didnt drink. she couldnt hold her liqour at all she said. she got so wasted they did some illegal stuff like driving to a blocked off road and just do crazy stuff. hahaha. and she puked so bad in the car and all. lmao. so yeah. she didnt drink. hahah. zi ping was so drunk she started crying. i felt so helpless cos we didnt know it was her dad that died :( they wanted to give her panadol? it was a good thing me and bibi stopped them. my goodness. drunk and you take panadol. that's insane. she went to sit on the road and shouted police! police! come and catch me! we actually wanted to leave for supper and have some quiet time the 3 of us. but bibi didnt wanna leave debbie and val to cab back so yeah. she sent us back. they were so noisy in the car. cos they were drunk. debbie wanted to roll down the windows and open the door? hahaha. val started crying for zi ping. it was so noisy and they were whining. bibi took the like SUPER long route back to my house can? hahaha. damn funny. she has such a bad sense of direction. hahaha. but thanks for the lift. so yesterday was full of crap. the function was boring and everyone got drunk except for like me, sasha, bibi, chess and mabel. but i really dont regret going. cos like bibi said, it gave us the chance for the 3 of us to sit down and talk. and yeah. i guess it was enough..

The Girl Behind the Screen, 12:15 PM

goodbyes again?
Thursday, November 24, 2005

i wanna wish both the gwens i know a happy birthday. to kwan: we go so way back, and you're someone i know i would always remember. all the laughs and joy you've brought to my life and so many others, i hope you get it all back too. maybe it's something wrong with us. all our coaches seem to leave. the ones we like. and the one we dont, he's like a never say die. ms mak was really upset with joa and yeah. i really am pissed at joanne. she's made ms mak feel that everything's her fault, that she's useless, when jo's the useless one. she gave some crap excuse to mak for starting late, and that made it all worse. only 13 people showed up for training, and so many were late. grr. i couldnt even run the seven rounds. i had to stop after four cos my knee hurt so bad. i felt so pathetic. ms mak didnt let me do si ze cos my knee was pretty swollen. and so we talked. we talked bout how the team was not committed. talked bout how everyone lost the passion. talked bout sharon, kwan and boss, bout the captain failing to do her duty. bout us having to cover for her. we sat there, wondering how to get to patricks think skull, how to tell him all we felt, it was just so saddening. i dont want you to leave ms mak. i dont want it. i hate goodbyes. i hate it like hell. i dont wanna be stuck with boss. i wanna rarr. first it was eric, then kwan, then sharon, now ms mak? when will it all stop. i just felt like crying while talking to ms mak. i'm in not much of a mood now. after all of training, i cabbed with gwen down to her house to get her wallet, cabbed back to town to meet the rest. kept calling chess, but somehow couldnt get through. so we went to walk around, sasha came. walked and walked, debbie came. ate at coffee club. hahaha. sasha didnt wanna talk cos she changed her braces color to pink and yellow. hahaha. in the end she showed it to me. we played the master mind. it was freaky. i put green, orange, yellow and red. then sasha put green, yello orange and red. the next one, she got it exactly correct. freaky eh? hahaha. first time i played and the person get's it right by the second time. clarissa kept calling me? hahaha. she was like in love with me or something. hahaha. met her and val, went to toysarus and did retarded stuff to relive our childhood. sasha went to eat at yoshi. hahaha. i rememeber the sign for it. roflmao!!!~ everything after that was a blur. DDR. cine to heeren, to cine and to heeren. met chess. she waited 1 and a half hours for us at the entrance of paragon? i'm so sorry!!!!! ate at cafe galilee, clarissa toppled the blocks, so she had to do a dare. rolfmao!!~ we found this fat guy and she begged him for his number. she was rejected!!! roflmao!!!!~ hahaha. so she had to do again. i found this ah beng in pink shirt with pink hair. successful!!! hahaha went to look at haviannas. saw this nice pair. white, lime green and blue. hahaha. but the strap was weird. the stupid sales assistant was an ass. we went to yoshi and did crazy stuff. like ordered happy meal. went to KFC ordered happy meal. the woman went to call her manager?? hahaha. we RAN!! hahaha. did alot of crazy stuff. me and sasha ran into the phone booth and shouted " raining! raining! take shelter!" roflmao!!! then we pretended to call and we went " superman!! help!! help!!! the pillar is falling!!" hahaha! super highness. went back. i itched all over. still am. but then it reminds me of OBS!! :D i wanna say i cant wait for saturday!!! i cant wait to see bibi!!! i miss the singing in the rain :( the sleeping wet in the tents, the heavy backpacks, the everything..

The Girl Behind the Screen, 6:53 PM

sister hoot!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005

oh there are some things i left out bout OBS. the kayaking. and the unglam way!!! hahaha oh gosh. bibi looked like she was humping the kayak, and that she was enjoying herself at that!! hahaha. lol. there was also our sister hoot!!! hahaha. gwen was so pissed with hadley. she was like "come on sisters! let's go hoot her!! eh!! SISTERHOOT!!" haha. okay. maybe you guys wont get it, but i guess it's cos we were high. rarr!!! i miss OBS :( we were singing the "if you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me." i felt like crying :( i really miss it all. bibi downloaded the song and was singing to her best friend :D hahaha. and her friend thought she was nuts. while we were singing it to each other. haha. me and bibi developed telepathy too!! hahaa shhh.. for me and sasha to know, you guys to find out!!! hahaha. oh man. she's scandalous *winks. rarr. she just started another camp. me and sasha bombarded her with messages man. aha. and she took a whole day to reply just 1!! neh neh slow sai. she says her new group is one hell of an obedient bunch. all student leaders and yeah. but not as fun as us!! hahaha. i told her not to expect too much. it doesnt get any better than us. heh. rarr. i miss OBS. i miss camp. i miss bibi. yesterday me and sasha like practically everything we kept linking back to camp and her can? i cant wait to meet up with her. cant wait to play ball with her :D let's start from yesterday ( all my troubles seem so far away~!!! ) i woke up late. and i really wasnt hungry. but dad said i had a problem and was anaeraxic??! haha. so i was forced to eat a whole bowl of noodles. reached school met sasha. hahaa. rushed for training. bibi i want to complain to you!!! joanne called me in the morning saying she wasnt coming for training? told me she sprained her shoulder?! :S then she asked me to take over training and arrange the other stuff like basketball camp?! it's so annoying!!! GRR. never mind. we were supposed to run the classroom block, the up and down the stairs, but due to the numerous injuries, knee and whatever, we didnt. cos all of them were complaining? i was like hmm. i've got a back injury, two knee injuries, and an ankle injury. i'm not complaining. what are YOU complaining about? grr. sometimes i really doubt their commitment level. pfft. we ran five rounds, did ball handling, and then i was telling the team that we needed to work on running into spaces, so we could play on the wet ground and dribble less. the next moment patrick came. gosh his hair! horridly beng-ish. i was trying to stiffle my laughter. and so was everyone else. finally me and my other hair burst out laughing. i was like what's with the hair dude? then he said exactly the same things as me, and so he said we were playing captains ball. and this time it wasnt telepathy. i'm annoyed. for all the three games, we thrashed them. and then we balled, first three games we thrashed them 3-0. then he called us losers? when hello?! we won? he played for opposing team. neh neh. and it was so unfair. then again, am i not used to it. i injured my right knee again. somehow my knee was trapped and it was straightened. lin came and rammed into it. it's swollen now? and it hurts like hell. okay out of point. i didnt have my knee guard so yeah. i trained my shooting abit. and waited for sasha to end training. her coach was crapping to me? hahaa. saying that they have attitude problem. and everything they say wrong he makes them knock down. like when someone said lost was on tuesday, she had to knock down pumping? like right. hahaha. and this girl's fringe was in her eyes. and he was like " cannot see is it? go cut hair! open the window!! " haha. roflmao!!~ chess came up, and val reached school. hahaha. chess was annoyed that we didnt tell her we would be wearing OBS shirts. hahaha. so like me, sasha, val and wee jia was weaing OBS shirts except for her and debbie? hahaha. and at least debbie was wearing white polo. chess was like wearing a black shirt. aha. we went to eat at pasta, wee jia came to meet us. me and sasha ordered our food still playing the "silent game"? haha. i think the woman went nuts. hahaha. i wanna buy haviannas. roarr!! we met alot of STC people? and sasha went to play DDR. haha. she's damn good can? hahaha. lol. and i remember the CALs with the super orbeet hair and identical pants?! hahahaa. and the one that was grabbing her crotch?!! roflmao!!~ obscene shit man. hahah. wee jia and val tried to copy me and sasha by attempting to have telepathy. ATTEMPTING. hahaha. we took neo prints, some hilarious and memorable ones. me and sasha flooded bibi's inbox. haha. went to forever21 to get chess's jacket, and then we went back. what a day! hahaha. i miss OBS!!! i miss bibiana koh :D

The Girl Behind the Screen, 12:02 PM

missing camp, missing bibi, missing it all
Saturday, November 19, 2005

when i went to sleep yesterday, i didnt feel right. the bed was too soft, the pillows too comforting for my comfort. it just didnt feel right. it took me so long to fall asleep, i suprisingly miss the hard ground. i woke up at 6 am. nuts yeah? my body's used to all of it. all of camp. and i looked around for sasha, for val, for fang zi and bibi. i'm addicted to all of them. i sat down to eat, and the food didnt feel right. i just grabbed a simple peice of bread and a cup of coffee, and that was all. afterall you dont get any better food in camp. my dad told out this makeshift bed, and it seriously looked like a tent bag. i was like whoo!! let's pitch our tent. then i snapped out of it. i looked around, and it was buildings, buildings and buildings. there was an aircon. and it just didnt feel right. i miss OBS like hell. my hot shower wasnt even comforting. i would give up my soft bed, my air con, my nice food, my hot showers, i wont complain about having to walk around in warm icky wet shoes. just to relieve that five days, just to talk and laugh with and at bibi. me and sasha were talking yesterday and we almost started crying again. we never knew a friend could mean so much. i thought i was immuned. i thought i could never let someone in so fast, and form a bond so strong. we never knew that friendship could have such a toll on us. i thought only love could bond three people so closely. well, we were all definetly wrong. people reading this might think i turned crooked, but i really miss everything bout OBS, i really miss bibi. i miss the lame songs, the caroling. the everything. it's like once you experience something like that, life wouldnt be the same. sasha was telling me, and i was telling her. we're not willing to let go so fast, not willing to surrender to 'fate'. we refuse to believe that that 5 days, and all that we experienced, the bonds that we had, are meant to only last 5 days. we're not going to. not going to let it all slip away...

The Girl Behind the Screen, 10:13 AM

OBS fun shit
Friday, November 18, 2005

i never thought i could miss an instructor that much. me and sasha never knew we could feel like this. we've only known her for 5 days and it feels like an eternity. haha. we know so much bout each other over such a short period of time. so i wanna shout it out loud "I MISS BIBIANNA KOH!!!" the 23 year old basketballer, ex- nan yang JC and cedar girls student, the student leader, the controller, the 10 years never return to main land, the walking potato, the plasma tv ass, the blur sai, the 'jinx', the bisexual, the boyfriends just for sex ( lol kidding ), the loud CAL, the slow ass, the super great anger management, the easy to please and ever smiling beloved bibi :D man. me and sasha nearly cried like hell. but we held back our tears. and bloody hell. we didnt wanna go home. so many memories i dont wanna leave behind. she hugged me and sasha and could tell she was freaking sad. let's walk down memory lane. DAY 1: surrendered phones and our valubles, and we learnt bibi was a basketballer too :D we were freaking pissed, we were doing ALL the work while everyone just disappeared. we learnt the belaying course. we did the trust fall and blade of grass thingy. it was fun :D the rest of our watch was very very dis-organised and was late by alot. bibi was very upset, but she didnt shout, she didnt scold us. and while she was holding back all her emotions, talking to us nicely, freaking bao hui fell asleep. neh neh. we felt so bad, me, sasha, val and fang zi went to apologize and with that she was so happy. some tears were shed in the way of the apology and i guess that's where we started becoming attached. we slept late and yeah. DAY 2: we woke up super early at 5 am. because we didnt do what we had to do before sleeping. in the words of beloved bibi, " actions and consequences " :D me and sasha took charge, getting everyone organized. we started packing our super heavy backpacks and yeah. it's a really long story cut short. now it's a happy one so i shant spoil them with complaints. we placed our bags on the boat, and that's when she got the walking potato name. hahaha. walked up the stairs. and went on a mini trek. i was the only one who counted the right amount of steps!!!! 101 :D we spread generous amounts of sunblock and yeah. started learning the strokes for kayaking. the freaking APNN and joan were bloody slow. she asked who wanted to pair up with them and nobody wanted to. ahaha. later she asked if we were racist. hahah. we were like erm. we did kayaking and the wet exit. sasha was freaking freaked out eh. and me and bibi were franctically trying to calm her. and there was this bad back-wash that was super huge. she warned us and all, but it was too huge. and that's why she failed this section :( but she passed overall!!! YAY for bibi!!! :D while sasha and val were in the kayak that was when the huge waves started. me and bibi were hanging on the kayak for nuts sake, and i got trapped in between the kayak and this huge rock. i got the cuts for proof. haha. shit i just cant stand it. i miss bibi and camp like hel hell hell alot alot alot :( i would give up my hot showers soft bed and air con and all for camp NOW! she split us up from our cliques. and i got hadley :( but it's okay, i dont hold it against her. we kayaked and raced against hillary. we got cheated!!! they told us that if we raced we didnt need to cook dinner but actually everyone didnt. we helped to wash up and all. it was really fun. bibi kept spraying us with water ? haha. pitched our tents which was freaking hard this time and bathed. the cookhouse was damn strict on attire for just freaking eating. but bah. whatever. formed hungry ghost club! hahaha. we went back to get our stuff and bibi piggy backed sasha and vice versa. hahaha. we formed our theory. hahaha. then bibi was complaining that she doesnt go back for 5 days a week and she was like whining " thats why i dont have a boyfriend! " ahaha. and i was like would you like a girlfriend? and she said " eh anna why? wanna be my girlfriend? " hahahaha. LOL! i was like no someone else, and she was like tell me tell me. gosh i can see that look playing in my mind hahaha. so gwen asked what do you need a boyfriend for anyone. and just jokingly she said " just for sex. " hahhahah!!! LMAO!!!and you should have seen mel's face. she believed her. hahaha. and bibi was franctically trying to convice her she was kidding. funny shit. we had debrief and played the harry met sally game. hahahaha. i had scotch tape covering my nostrils. haahah. i pasted one on sasha's eye. hahaha. we pasted on whole of bibi's chin!! i actually wanted to paste it on her eyebrows but she begged us not to. haha. lmao! she tried to trick us into letting her take out before we go to sleep hahaha. but it didnt work. hahaha. man. in such a short time she become such a big part of us :( i'm very sad. DAY 3: woke up at 6 and washed up and all. had breakfast, and it was the first meal she sat down to eat with us. food was good. set out to trek. haha. we pasted the insect repellent sticker on us and bibi was like what's that? and we were like insect repellent? val was like hahah! you 10 never return to mainland huh? dont know what it is. hahaha. lmao!!! sohilarious. my back was killing me, my tail bone hurting like shit. my bag was so freaking heavy, and sasha's knee was nuts. but come to think of it, i dont mind going through all that pain again. i just cant explain. we were walking very slowly, and didnt manage to visit the peak and ubin village. bibi was very disappointed and upset. we reached our campsite. and even though she didnt want to, the ever kind and accomodating bibi offered to let us dip in the quarry. she went to get her lifejacket. the rest did too. but me, sasha, val, fang zi and gwen stood there. it just didnt feel right, doing something that we didnt deserve. we told that to the group, and they all decided not to go for the dip either. bibi came. and here's one favourite part of mine. i can see her happy, shocked and very pleased face when we told her. at first she was like what do you mean you're not going in? hahaha. oh man. i can see it in my mind. and me and sasha were so pleased. she was so overjoyed that we finally learnt actions and consequences. we went to pitch our tent. the ground was rock hard, so it was a new challenge again. haha. yu shan cut herself. it wasnt deep at all and the APNN was like speed boat and medical centre. so i took a look. and it wasnt deep at all? hahah. but she kept insisting so we went to call bibi. i was like bibi! yu shan cut herself. i was like it isnt very deep. and she heard it's very deep. so she grabbed her medic bag and walkie talkie and totally ran there? hahaha. me and sasha was like why are you walking so fast? hahaha. when she saw it she was like what the hell? kinda face. hahaha. it was damn funny. sasha was like, "i'm never gonna trust the APNN again" hahaha!! bibi was like you scared me! i was like what? it's not my fault you heard wrongly?! roflmao!! it was going to rain, so again me and sasha went to look for bibi. hahaha. it was so embarrassing. haha. the instructors must have thought we had an infatuation with her. she helped us build the i-cant-remember-the-name tent thingy. we felt damn mean for disturbing her bath :( hahaah!!!! plus she was playing with kim chuan!!! hahaha. and he just spat in her face!!! ROFLMAO!!!~later she told us she had to hurry jump into the quarry and hurry get out cos it was dark and she was scared of ghosts. hahahaha!!! roflmao!!! we made the tang thingy to drink and me, sasha and yu shan helped them get organised with the cooking. i cant believe it. there were people holding up the tent for us, bao hui and hadley were eating, and while they were out in the rain, they were complaining that they dripped abit of water on them. like what the hell? and plus they were wearing ponchos. like asses. there was alot of food left over and so we gave it to the other camp. and they were so grateful. hahaha. i remember telling them to get organised, assign people to wash up and get the rubbish cleared, but when we came back everyone was just sitting there!! me and sasha were like what the hell. haha. we were waiting or bibi to turn up at 8.30 and we remember making fun of sasha. hahah. we were like dont worry. coming already. putting make up, mascara, wearing high heels coming already! hahaha!! lol. we had passionate 'sex' me and sasha rememeber? hahaha. roflmao. in the end we went to look for her cos it was like 9.30. we thought something happened. so again, me and sasha went. hahah. she was having a breifing and totally like falling asleep. hahaha. we went back to tents to wait for her. talked alot, laughed, sang and all. she came to check on us at 11. and we told her the santa claus, mickey mouse, stupid bibi and clever bibi joke. hahaha. she was so bloody slow? hahaha. i was like cos the rest dont exist. she was like huh? i was like there's only a stupid bibi? haha. and she was like eh!!! and she started hitting me. hahaha. damn funny. she was saying she had racist jokes for us. and we were like say!!! and she was like but i cant tell jokes. and me and sasha were like hahah!! cos you yourself dont even get them right? hahah. oh one more thing. that night i became a triplet of sasha and zhi yi. we kept on saying excatly the same things. especially the "ya! ya! ya! ya!" that was bloody hilarious. and the "do you wanna come in?" hahaha. oh gosh. roflmao. we slept late. after staying up and talking and all. jo like took up half the tent and she kept complaining aye? we were all damn annoyed. plus the fact it was OUR tent. but whatever. me, fang zi and val had to sleep sitting up and sasha was lying on my lap so comfortably. neh neh. i got pins and needles. it rained very heavily and our tent started flooding. oooh. the fun starts we were shivering and freaking cold. then hahhaha!! i started splashing val with the water in our tent. oh gosh. so fun. haha. we had a mini water fight. hahaha. and i was high. that was only 4. then i started singing and laughing and telling jokes, and passed on my highness. at around 5.30 me and sasha went out in the rain and was going to find bibi. in the end we didnt. we ended up peeing instead. hahaha. then we got up and i got all of them high by singing. so we went around caroling in the rain. oh gosh. one of the best moments. hahaha. we told jokes, and woke up everyone with our purposely horrid singing. hahaha. then i suggested going to wake bibi. so off we went. we sang for isccandar. hahaha. and then we sang/shouted " are you sleeping, are you sleeping Bibiann?.... " hahaha!! i love that part, and up till now it still makes her laugh, and makes us smile!!! hahaa :D!! it was damn funny cos she finally came out. she told us that at first she was like what the hell. why are isscandar's pack so crazy. and when she came out and saw it was she was laughing like nuts. haha. i felt very happy, starting a chain that brightened up so many people's day. hahaha. we unpitched and all, and yeah. went to build our raft. it was alot of work and it was really fun and mind blowing. hahaha. cos no one else was thinking so me and sasha had to come up with everything. but i say that everyone warmed up later and did a splendid job. our raft was a success!! haha. here comes the part which me and sasha couldnt get over. we had to jump off from a rock into the water and the APNN was damn scared. and she said in a damn hilarious voice " joan can you come with me?" hahaha!!! roflmao!!!! we couldnt stop laughing!!!! haha. and sasha made it worse! haha. she kept on going " anna, can you come with me?" in the exact same voice. LOL!!! hahahaa. we jumped in. bibi was damn mean. she tried pushing sasha into the water when she knew damn well sasha was damn scared of it. hahaha. then i pushed her in!!!! HAHAH! you should have seen her face man!! FREAKING FUNNY ONE MILLION DOLLAR MOMENT!!! hahaha. we started trekking back. and this time it was sooo much better. cos we started out high, so we were high and singing like nuts. hahaa. we finally reached camp 2. then we changed out of our wet icky shoes and got into attire for rock climbing.oh wells. me and sasha climbed together. haha. quite fun. but actually we really didnt try. haha. i belayed bibi. and val was saying sasha can be the spotter for bibi. hahah. roflmao. and bibi did this pose and we were saying she can be sasha's porn partner cos it was EXACTLY the same as sasha's first porn pose. hahaha. sasha laughed so hard she spat out her water. haha. then there was once when mel was climbing and someone else lighter was belaying. jo was supposed to be the anchorman. but being the self centred person she was. she just sat down. bibi was like who is the anchorman? and the moment jo grabbed onto the belayer's harness, mel fell. like freaking hell. if bibi didnt say anything mel would have fell? bibi was kinda upset. it was such a close call. and jo dared to say she forgot. bloody hell. cooked dinner. i had to open the cans cos no one else knew how to. when opening one, it slipped and cut my finger. there was like freaking alot of blood. chess was damn freaked out for me. haha. sasha was like oh my gosh oh my gosh then she poured alot water. but then the bleeding didnt stop.then she started shouting. where's the stupid APNN? hahaha. in the end we went to find bibi. it was damn gross cos the blood was dripping down my hand and on my feet. hahaha. when we asked one of the instructors where bibi was he was damn sian of us. hahaha. damn funny. then bibi came out and she was like what? i was like oh. i cut my hand. haha. and then this was damn funny. i held up my hand then the other instructor was like gosh! i didnt see that. hahah. his face was damn funny. hahaha. must have been the blood. hahah. bibi grabbed my hand and like might as well have started running cos she was like jogging damn fast. we tried to stop the bleeding for a while. hahaha. then ken came when it just stopped. then he saw. he was damn funny. he was like " very bad. very bad." hahah. i was like you're damn lame. hahah. he was like i'm serious. emergency. bibi was like medical centre? and he was like no! must chop off. NOW! hahaha. then bibi was like how? and ken hahah! cant get over it. he said STRING AND TEETH. ROFLMAO!!!!haha. she dressed the wound and all. she wanted to eat with us but she couldnt. yeah. neh neh. we went to bathe. cleared the stall and packed the bags. there was ALOT of things missing. and they were bloody idiots. they went to take from other watches. we finished damn late. cos like not everyone was helping. only yu shan, val, fang zi, the two girls gwen and sasha were helping. we talked to ang-ila and was laughing at her like nuts, and announced her bra colour and all. hahaha!! ROFLMAO!!finally got to bathe at 10.30 and we had to wait for damn long. we finished at 11 and were chased out by the bald lum. ran up the stairs in the dark. i was like telling them where to step cos i was the only one who could see. bibi was waiting for us having checked all the tents. she dressed my wound again, and stayed to talk. we told her our theory. hahaha. and like i said she knew. hahaha. she was like i'm slow not stupid. hahaha. but o well. she went back. LAST DAY: when we woke up, i was already feeling pretty depressed. i didnt wanna go back. sasha too. when on the first day she was whining last nuts. hahah. cleared the stall with bibi. there was like stuff missing, and alot had to be re-washed. she was very unhappy :( we had to pay 46 bucks in all for the damaged stuff. which bibi said was alot. she gave us her number. she made us run up the 101 steps to check the site and in the end there was nothing?! NEH NEH. hahaha. we bought shirts, and she signed them. ang-ila too. haha. we found it quite amusing that she didnt wanna write i love you on jo's shirt. wee jia and all were crying. me and sasha started too. but we held back. chess messaged me and said bibi was on the same ferry and me and sasha were like damn. then on the bus we were all so deep in thought. and someome said "bibi!" and both of us literally jumped out of our seats. but she wasnt there can? so anti-climax. we went for lunch. steamboat. and me and sasha messaged her the same thing. hahah. she said we had no originality :( then we saw a short girl with streaked brown hair and we were like BIBI! but it wasnt. so we were like kinda depressed? hmm. yeah. whole night me and sasha were messaging. and we were really amazed that we could become so attatched to her over such a short period of time. we thought only love bonded this strong. never knew this depth of friendship. i dont mind the scars, the bites. i wont trade a single one. it's all i have left of camp. and the songs " i lie awake, and drive myself crazy" and the " if you leave me now, you take away the biggest part of me " she likes that song. realise i'm blogging me and sasha? this is from both of us. we miss camp. we miss you BIBIANNA KOH! :( :D i wrote a song bout camp, bout the three of us. the all of us. everything. i wont exchange that 5 days for anything. not a million bucks. nothing ever.

The Girl Behind the Screen, 7:28 PM


Thursday, November 10, 2005

my day today was crap. working made it a lil more fun. when i got home my mom kept asking me what do i do in the office, so i said "everything" and she went like listing all kinds of stuff. and i'm like uhuh. my sister got irritated first. hahah! so whheee! i know anna, you're looking at this thinking when did i post this. the fact is... YOU DIDN'T! i just got more bored! haha! tagging here is way more fun then on your tag board! hahaha! abigail.

The Girl Behind the Screen, 9:54 PM

work!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005

heh. evidently i havent been blogging much. yeah the hols have started and i've had some fun. baby sitting, earning money and spending it. i'm have a lunch break now. the first day of work at aunty yen's. but i didnt go eat out cos it's like they're all GUYS! hahaha. and quite old ones at that. cos aunty yen left me here alone :( it's all goind quite fine actually, but i hate the phone answering bit. haha. i think i've already accidentally hung up on 3 people. shhh. haha! yeah. yesterday we went over to jo's house to make the ping pong balls. at first it was like disaster. but thanks to me!!!... hahaha. we ended so much later than expected. oh wells. it was back breaking. rarr. i'm sleepy. and hungry. and i should have went out for lunch.

The Girl Behind the Screen, 12:49 PM

  

ANNA CHEN JIEMIN
17 JULY 1990
SAINT THERESA'S CONVENT
GUITARIST AND CHILD OF YAHWEH
SINGAPORE
BASKETBALLER
PATRIOT.NOT

WHITE
The One who gave His life for me
My family
My friends
Big brothers and Little sister :D PJLA
Basketball and basketballers
Writing songs, poems
Music
Coffee (Starbucks over Coffee bean anytime :D)
Ben & Jerry's
Carl's Junior
Sushi
Travelling round the world
Photography
Backpacking
Kids
Grey's Anatomy!! :D
Friends Season 1-10!
Reading!!
Happy endings
Hotties and NICE EYES! :D
OBS!

BLACK
Goodbyes
Satan
Broken promises
Back stabbers
Air pollutants
Abusive parents
Abortions

GOLD
Psalm 27
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and they fell.
3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise up against me, in this will I be confident.
4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to enquire in His temple.
5 For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavillion: in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me; He shall set me upon a rock.
6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in His taberncale sacrifices of joy: I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me and answer me.
8 When Thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
9 Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger: Thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
11 Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the Lord.