| MY WORLD
Saturday, October 23, 2004
hey.
i'm kinda bored and tong's asking me to go play ball.
dont have cash no nothing.
they wanna play at ngee an.
dont know how long i'll take.
i'm kinda lazy to move,
but i so wanna go.
you know what i mean?
haha. so yea.
was contemplating to go down to church this morning.
but then daniel said there wasnt guitar so heck.
forget it.
so which basically means i could have met tong way in the morning and stuff.
which means that i was free.
which means i didnt have to sit around at home and do nothing.
o wells. it sucks.
i just told them i'll go,
and i'm to lazy to move my ass.
still thinking should i call and say no?
i let you go,
i let you fly,
Why do I keep on asking why?
I let you go,
Now that I found,
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 2:53 PM
"My Confession"
I have been blind, unwilling to see
The true love you're giving.
I have ignored every blessing.
I'm on my knees confessing
That I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
I have been wrong about you.
Thought I was strong without you.
For so long nothing could move me.
For so long nothing could change me.
Now I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am captured by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart is turning,
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
You are the air that I breath.
You're the ground beneath my feet.
When did I stop believing?
Cause I feel myself surrender
Each time I see your face.
I am staggered by your beauty,
Your unassuming grace.
And I feel my heart
Falling into place.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
I can't hide
Now hear my confession.
Hear my confession
The Girl Behind the Screen, 2:46 PM
Sunday, October 17, 2004
today was a normal day..
amy and nat came to church.
daniel was happy..
haha. he said he hadn't seen them in a while.. right..
mumbled something and laughed..
how retarded.
just shrugged and walked off.
his guitar sounded weird..
and he kept asking me how it sounded.
shruggs.
maybe cos gail was playing it..
haha. gary played with her today..
so yea..
missed the babies.
they didnt come cos they were sick..
aww... haha.
yay! we got the josh groban and glorious cd..
haha. yup. can listen to it all day..
till i close my eyes to sleep.
jacque didnt know who he is..
right. how intelligent.
tried amy's i'm____ on dan.
we were all betting he would say i'm handsome.
he said, i'm holy..
how disappointing..
and he didnt fall for the there's something on your chin..
he thought we wanted to make him touch his face all over..
right..
talking to danial,
and he said he missed me.. aww..
haha. he asked if i wanted to watch white chicks a third time..
i said if he paid i would..
and he's serious bout it..
haha. yay!! i get a free movie..!!
right... he gave me another one of the pictures of gail..
blackmail quality..
haha... o wells. he's really bored.
he's like: " i tell you a secret but you dont tell yourself k?"
then he laughs and says "get it? i tell you a secret but you dont tell yourself"
right.. i guess all danial and daniels are retarded.
damn i should stop thinking bout you,
cos obviously you dont miss me like i miss you.
go on and ask me if i miss you,
cos hell i do.
i miss you so much i feel so empty inside.
you invade my thoughts endlessly..
and you know whats the worst part?
you dont feel the same. dang!!
The Girl Behind the Screen, 9:10 PM
Saturday, October 16, 2004
i'm broke. i spent 35 bucks on this polo tee.
but it's really nice. o wells.
i saw alot of cool stuff yesterday when we went shopping.
i felt like buying everything.
i wish i had a million bucks to spare.
it'll be like so fun.
haha. right.
i can just keep wishing.
i have to go get my school shoes later,
if not i'll be so busted.
yesterday,
i helped jason to paint the boat for the childcare.
it was like really fun.
and then i went to meet jacqueline,
and we saw lydia and sarah.
they just watched wimbledon.
haha. so we stood there talking crap,
until they realised they were hungry,
and we were blocking the way.
so we went to long johns
cheryl's friends were so unfriendly and so not nice.
and like totally weird.
went back down to church,
sat there rotting,
and talking crap bout everyone.
daniel was argueing with gail she should lead for homegroup,
and she refused,
so he messaged me to get her to.
right.
that guy has seriously nothing to do.
and he is so stupid when he can just message my dad.
haha. no offense.
oh yea. and stop giggling.
it'll do you good.
haha.
mr tan chose me to hand in my science stuff for checking.
how annoying.
argued with him,
and in the end,
he still wants me to hand it in.
i told him to say he marked the wrong name,
so i dont need to hand in.
haha. then he said whatever.
i told him,
that he shouldnt keep saying whatever when he's defeated,
and that a man should learn to fight back.
what did he say?
whatever. i'm not defeated by you.
oh i'm sure.
i wa slike.
that's the worse thing bout guys.
insensitive, and unwilling to admit defeat.
he was like.
i'm marking your science paper.
you wanna take that back?
he's always threatening me.
like when he failed me cos i didnt help him wash his plate.
haha.
he said i did well for a person who sleeps in class,
doesnt do work,
and didnt study.
haha.
yay!
i told him to be nice and more lenient.
i might be going window shopping later. buh byes!
The Girl Behind the Screen, 1:06 PM
Friday, October 15, 2004
superman has died. how ironic.
i am so gonna have a BF. haha.
the past days have been horrible.
i think so at least.
i so screwed my lit paper?
i spent one and a half hours on the novel section,
and i was left with half an hour for poetry and plays.
shucks.
and math paper was real screwed,
cos i didnt study.
and everyone else said it was easy.
everything was so familiar but distant?
i watched white chicks again.
it was hilarious.
but now i've got three bruises.
i got one huge blue black on my leg,
a small one on my shin,
and thanks to kim,
i've got one on my hip now.
mrs chan has been horribly annoying.
i was writing the most heavenly essay on earth for my geog,
and she came to nag me bout my shoes.
i just kept quiet,
and she stood there for ten minutes going on and on.
i looked at her,
stared, then gave her an irritated face,
and went back to my paper.
it was a good thing she got the hint,
if not i would have sued her for interrupting my thoughts and carolyn's
( because she was talking so loud )
during my paper.
she came the next morning,
and complained bout me.
calling me immature and god knows what.
threatening to send me to mr sng,
using reverse physcology like she always.
" if you want to rebel even though this is my last year, go ahead. "
oh yea. go on send me to mr sng.
i bet he aint as unreasonable.
he gave me till monday okay.
like everyone is as free as her.
she came in that day before the paper and started telling us about apprentice.
and she doesnt have time to even mark our books.
she came in late and scolded us for being late.
how ironic.
she came in that day,
started telling the whole class.
"if that pupil wants to wear horrible shoes,
i'm sick of it.
she's immature if she wants attention like that."
excuse me,
i'm sure you know my name is anna.
she came in that day,
when me and carolyn were sitting there quietly,
i was looking at her paper and mine,
and she went,
" anna and carolyn please co-operate"
i was like we werent even talking.
what did she say?
" i was talking to carolyn."
oh that's something new!?
i didnt know carolyn's first name was anna,
her middle name and,
and her last name carolyn.
i'm sure.
______ is stupid.
fill in the blanks gail.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 1:33 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
hey. i played chess today. it was so fun right tammy? haha. went to amy's house. had a blast. and we went on the roof. studied for awhile, and while we were considering this complicated move, amy started shouting. i'm gonna break my arm. she tried to climb on the stairs railing to get to the attic. how weird. and she wasnt wearing any shorts? me and debbie had to pull her up. right. how amazing. geog paper today was okay. but my map was so so screwed. i spent too much time on it, and i ended up having too rush through section c. exams suck. but hey! you know what sucks more? you. i thought you had changed, that you were different from the rest of them. that you were true to your words. but i never could be so wrong. this time, i aint even a pawn in your game of chess. i'm like the dead skin on the sole of your foot. haha. that makes me wanna laugh and cry at the same time.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 7:07 PM
Monday, October 11, 2004
hey. the past few days has been full of ups and downs.
i'm feeling really in the middle of no where,
and i havent been able to get down to work or anything.
which by the way is horrible.
i played ball with them today.
it was one of the happiest moments so far.
i realised how bad my lan di is.
and that really hurts.
i realised how much she improved and moved on.
i realised i never really was the super defender at all.
it was just to cheer me on.
i really suck now..
chinese paper was a drag.
i finished the paper and sat there and wrote crap.
crap and more crap.
and no matter what i did,
all i think about is you.
damn you.
damn it.
damn us.
damn me.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 6:07 PM
Thursday, October 07, 2004
hey.
i didnt go to school today.
i woke up with a splitting headache.
which makes today the fifth day in a row.
i am basically rotting at home.
i'm gonna start studying later.
but for now,
i'm sitting around,
watching television, waiting to see who comes online,
and thinking bout you.
bout us.
i'm thinking of going down to play ball later,
brush up on all my basics and things.
havent played in a long time.
since tuesday i think.
but that was for only three hours.
i still miss training with the team.
but as my suspension grows longer,
i feel farther.
i feel so drifted and all.
i feel like having a morning run.
really,
how can they say they love basketball,
or stc basketball rocks,
when are constantly not skipping training.
am missing something here?
i wish i even had the chance to go for training.
but all these..
all the differences,
the quarrels,
the lack of passion,
the lack of devotion,
the lack of commitment,
it's just not meant to be.
where was the passion that was?
the team that was so bonded,
so close?
wasnt there always comments on how close we were?
on how we were the closest cca?
wasnt there always comfort and refuge found in the team?
wasnt there always closeness?
where was the confidant we could find in the team?
where?
when did all that stop?
when did all this confusion and hatred start?
when did all the differences come in?
just last year,
we were so close and passionate.
look at where we are now.
guess some will never understand,
unless they have felt the closeness before,
they will never understand.
i pity the new people coming in,
cos they will never feel waht we felt.
they will never understand the true joy of playing basketball as a team.
they wont understand that we dont have to play basketball to be happy.
we can be having physical training and be happy.
why?
cos there was always words of encouragement.
the strong carrying the burdens of the weak.
everyone helping out.
isnt it true?
if we cant endure physical we cant endure the game?
in physical the strong helps the weak..
so it is in the game.
if one makes a mistake,
another has to cover up.
why then all this disunity?
why the pointing of fingers?
why the blaming of who did what wrong?
isnt it so that we are a team?
we are one?
that's the unique thing.
unlike track,
they train together,
but one wins the medal.
it's an individual effort.
but basketball's a team sport,
a team effort.
if we cant bond off court,
how do we play as one on court.
do you not want to do our coaches proud?
the we and the us.
it has become the me and her.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 10:02 AM
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
this is my fourth day i've had a headache in a row.
i really have no intention of going to school tommorrow.
except that mom and dad's gonna be back.
my math's really screwed.
i realised i cant remember a thing.
and the exam's next week.
gonna start cramming again.
i so gotta pass this time,
if i dont,
it'll give him more reason to extend my suspension.
now that totally sucks.
i want nothing more than to train with the team.
it's so nerve wrecking,
seeing that i cant train.
you say i'm indifferent.
i say i have to be.
i'm already trying so hard,
but nothing seems to work.
i dont even know if i'll get to play the last match with our seniors.
our last competition.
absence makes the heart grow fonder.
i wonder how they can skip training just to go out.
i really wonder.
danial has gotten this weird looking picture of gail.
she looks like some mentally challenged girl trying to break her neck.
danial's trying to threaten and blackmail me.
he claims he has some weird pictures.
all cos i asked him if he wanted daniel.
haha. guess i hit a raw spot.
gail catched a movie with daniel.
white chicks.
wanted to catch it again,
but it was at 2.25.
i was contemplating if i should go to church,
but i decided not to.
we went to get nat's present.
wanted to get the black and pink hand bag.
but it was gone.
while we were frantically finding for another present,
daniel was checking out soccer balls.
right. we settled for a fox jacket.
it was really nice.
there was this group of ngee an girls.
there were really very annoyingly rude.
they wanted to bounce the basketball,
and they turned around and shouted.
oi! move away.
i started glaring at them.
how immature.
danial's asking me who gail likes.
he's so annoyed and says that all of us speaks in riddles.
i asked him what i would stand to gain,
and he said his friendship.
right! that's like losing more than gaining.
haha.
not one day goes by when i dont think of you.
trust me. i wish there was a day like that.
i can feel it.
you pretend to be so nice.
pretend i say.
but i know you resent it.
i am amazed.
really, i am.
oh?! why not never talk again.
it's not like you want to.
you just have to.
that's what you feel.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 8:47 PM
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
today's lessons were boring except for pe.
we played basketball.
it was really fun,
being able to play in school.
but somehow,
it didnt feel as great.
it came to easily,
i didnt have to do physical before playing.
i didnt have to do pumping.
i didnt have to run 5 km.
i didnt have to sprint.
i didnt train with the team.
and that was the reason why it was so different.
i feel that i've lost out on so much,
i'm alienated,
and i dont know what's going on.
everyone knew bout tong's letter to straits time weeks ago.
i found out when?
yesterday.
its like the team and me are seperate now.
so what if i train on my own?
it's just not the same anymore.
i see mr patrick and i feel like asking him,
talking to him.
but i cant.
i feel like shaking him,
and begging him to let me come back.
but i cant.
so many things i love,
so many things i want,
and i cant have.
one person i love.
and i cant have.
what's in for me in life then?
you know you could tell me straight in the face if you want me to go way.
you could just say that you want to be with her and her alone.
you just ignore me, it's better than pretending.
it hurts so much that we dont talk, that you dont call.
it's like a one sided conversation, a one way road.
it's like you're nice to me because you have to.
it's like you know me to know her.
there's no sincerity in you.
yet i'm still hanging on, i still wanna be there.
i know you resent me being there,
but you pretend,
you cover up by laughing, by pretence concern.
why bother covering up?
isnt it less taxing?
anyway you cant lie to me.
it's so obvious you wont change.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 7:28 PM
Monday, October 04, 2004
apparently this isnt such a good idea. i'm so frustrated. i just spent the day thinking and missing you. i slept during the whole one hour of chinese. really, you are draining my energy. apparently i cant think at all. i mean i did so much, yet why are you still so cold. it's like it doesnt make a difference you see? it's like we're just two people, and others are the ones bringing us together. and i dont even know why i'm still hanging on. dont you think that its so weird? the way you know it's impossible yet you cant let go. you just seem to go all out, do everything in your power, which by the way doesnt work. it's so depressing seeing you. so depressing hearing from you. yet it's worse when i dont hear from you. when i dont see you. you have no idea what this is. no idea what i'm going through. you probably wont even read this. that's the thing about you. you are so pretentious. how can all the things that you say be true when we cant even hold a decent conversation? yet when you are with me your are so cheery. you say it's not true, but i dont believe it. how can you not open up to me, and yet you pour your heart out to her? how is it that you dont settle our problems with me but her? it's just not right and there's a missing link. we need to talk. NOW!
today's lessons were boring.
like totally.
i dont wanna go for science remedial.
i am dreading my life now really.
i wish i could die now and happily go to heaven.
but i know if i die i'll probably go to hell.
i dont know the volume of life i've been living.
it's like nothing really.
i tried so hard and got so far,
and in the end,
it doesnt matter.
my life is so screwed.
i dont even have a direction in life.
the only things that i really love are taken from me.
i miss training,
i miss the team.
i miss the closeness that was,
i miss the talks that we had.
i miss the confidant i found in them.
but most of all,
i miss you.
and the worst part is?
you probably dont feel the same.
all the things that you said.
empty words.
empty promises.
it's like i cant stop thinking of what you're doing,
who you're with.
basically i cant stop thinking of you.
of us..
i dont know what the future brings,
but i know that you're here with me now.
we'll make it through and i hope you are the one i share my life with.
i dont wanna run away,
but i cant take it,
i dont understand,
if i'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that i am?
is there any way that i could stay in your arms?
cos i miss you,
body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away,
and i breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today.
cos i love you,
whether it's wrong or right,
though i cant be with you tonight,
know that my soul is by your side.
The Girl Behind the Screen, 7:47 PM
Sunday, October 03, 2004
someone hacked into my account, so now i cant get it. it's really annoying.
so now my email is aperfectdaywithyou@hotmail.com.
add me up. thanks!
The Girl Behind the Screen, 8:01 PM
hey. i already blogged, but some how it got deleted.so here it goes.
yesterday we had filming.
it was really fun except for the first and last scene.
me and steph went down,
and we were the only extra's until daniel came down.
he looked damn tired the three of us thought we would be so busted for making him come down.
it was really funny cos daniel holmberg's a bisexual,
so we wanted daniel to walk down with him,
and we told them to act more than freinds.
then daniel started putting his arms around holmberg,
and acting all mushy,
and we were seriously wondering what holmberg was thinking.
haha. me and holmberg discovered that all visitors to ngee an,
all seem to go around in circles.
like a lot of times.
including daniel.
haha. and they all drive black cars.
right! we were telling denise that he should act like he's on cloud nine,
and then holmberg was like yea!
like me when i see lionel.
we were all like ughh!
mandy couldnt really act.
she smiled too much.
dick was the best actor.
and he was hilarious about the smoking part and the
" see la! tell you not to fight over me already!"
haha. he really totally acted like an ah beng.
darren was not bad too, except for the hyper ventilating which made him look like he was retarded or something.
when we were filming in the atrium,
this other guy from another group out of the blue came over and started scolding pearl fuck at least five times.
holmberg was like really angry.
" he was like eh! she's a girl okay! "
darren had to go over to stop the fight.
well,at least he stands up for his friends.
bravo! haha.
he thought i was older than gail,
he said i was taller and looked more mature.
he was real shocked when i told him i was in fact three years younger.
haha.
today's worship was pretty good.
uncle krish was so annoying.
i really felt like punching him.
he kept on staring at us and the dancers.
because we were on stage we could see he was shaking his head,
rolling his eyes,
and he was smirking at daniel and elaine.
he kept sniggering at us.
sheesh! talk about immatuarity.
i bet he thought kavaish could do better.
not!
elaine saw it too.
he actually made eye contact with her,
and she just ignored him
she wanted to tell him that if he thought it was so easy to dance he should go try it.
haha. please! spare me.
other than that the day passed uneventfully.
// damn you. someone shoot me.
i'm thinking of you too much. but why?
lately, i've been feeling that i need more of you.
lately, i've been living a half life.
wait, maybe no life at all.
with you gone, baskeball gone, what kinda life is it?//
The Girl Behind the Screen, 5:30 PM
Saturday, October 02, 2004
hey.
i didnt go to school yesterday.
what's the use?
i cant even play ball.
but instead,
i went to amy's house.
we baked cookies.
you wont believe what she did.
i put the butter right on the stove,
and she thought i wanted to heat it up.
she turned on the fire full blast,
and i was like screaming, "what are you doing?"
haha. she didnt even know i wanted to turn off the fire.
the plastic of the tub melted.
later we watched the united live DVD.
ooh. marty rocks. haha.
he's so corny in a funny way.
right...
we waited for nat to come home.
she came home,
got dressed.
amy kept saying she looked ugly in the clothes,
and we took ages to find her a shirt.
she even wanted me to take out my shirt and lend it to her then we would go shopping.
right.. she ended up wearing a shirt which she found in the sofa area.
gosh, me and nat were like. what the?
she took like 30 minutes to get dressed.
we left the house around 7.00?
nat bought a magazine,
but she couldnt find a place to dump the rubbish.
she threw it at the end of the mrt ststion.
right. amy was like you cant do that!
and she tried to bend over the fence and get it back.
she was wearing a skirt?!
her shoe ended up on the other side of the fence.
sheesh! in the end i got it out.
haha. she ended throwing it in my bag.
reached town and walked around.
we went to yoshi to eat.
me and nat werent hungry,
so it was amy who ate.
she left her wallet there?
and it contained like 90 bucks.
we didnt realise until we went to giordano.
there was this bunch of freaks,
a chinese girl and a malay guy.
they were like my friends wants to know all of you.
we were like eww!
the guys were standing there and giggling?
how gay.
nat said no,
and we went to pick out a shirt for amy.
after she changed and stuff,
we came out,
and the guys sent back their friend?
he was like.
"please can i have your number."
and nat was like" sorry.
i dont think we're allowed to do that".
and the guy was like "we can just chill and make friends"
we were like right?!
nat said" i dont even know you."
and he introduced himself.
so he went away.
the bitchy girl kept making fun of us and immitating us,
yuck.
we went to pay for amy's shirt,
and realised the wallet was missing.
she went frantic.
the woman was so nice to us.
she used her staff discount card so we could pay for the shirt.
thank you! haha. they want to write a letter of commendation.
walked back to yoshi to find amy's wallet.
we were lucky.
the guy helped us keep it?
met gail,stephenie and daniel.
ended up eating at subway.
had a snapple grape.
amy read my messages,
and she kept on insisting i was with alicia?
like what the?
than they read out the messages,
and daniel was like it keeps getting better doesnt it?
ughh! shut up.
he's so gonna talk about it with ken?
natalie was the only one who believed i was straight.
thanks ya.
it was only like 9 plus,
and the movie started at 11. 40,
so we went walking aimlessly.
we talked about nothing at all,
and daniel kept on saying extrim was good,
and it helps him exercise when he shits?
we were like o shut up. sick!
then he kept complaing bout his knee problem.
i was like oh excuse me,
i have both knees and ankle and a back problem.
gail was like ya. me too.
he was like mine's certified by a doctor.
i'm like oh ya, you?
haha. then we saw this group of percussionist outside borders.
it was cool,
but we couldnt see anything.
so we went up, and left daniel there cos he was so engrossed in it.
he ended up standing down stairs looking at us like some retard while people walked past.
we went to borders later,
me and nat bought this red and black pencil.
and me and gail bought this make up book for joelle's birthday.
gee! it cost like 30 bucks.
daniel wanted to buy this baby book.
it cost like 12 bucks?
we were like.
that's for joshua and caleb right?
nat and amy were thirsty,
so they went to buy a drink.
again!
amy had two cans of green tea and coke and coffee bean?
sheesh! water bucket.
it was so not fair.
i shouldnt have brought a bag.
gail and daniel dumped everything in my bag.
we started walking back,
and we saw the golden man.
he was half naked,
painted bronze, and dancing.
daniel and gail was so fascinated with it.
we were talking bout school and how busy,
and how daniel didnt have to do anything in the army and get paid so much.
and he goes like " i save lives okay."
i'm sure.
" i'm devoted."
so i was like " oh ya. you have to amire him for being so committed.
he was so committed he could leave his job,
so he didnt run 5 km just to stay and work."
haha, right. gail laughed like hell.
reached there, daniel's shirt was like transparent with sweat?!
like eww!
but he cant beat isaku at that one.
went in to the theatre,
it was like totally crowded at the entrance.
had to push our way through.
yuck.
i hate crowded places.
me and nat betted on seating arrangement.
it was going to be daniel, gail steph, amy, me nat.
but damn.
gail was sitting with me and daniel on the other side.
after switching around,
it was daniel, steph, gail,amy,me,nat.
one person difference.
i'm good.
haha.
i refused to sit next to gail.
she was so noisy.
she kept complaining on how the cuts were so bad and obvius and blah.
it was horrible.
equivalent to the day after tommorow movie.
sheesh.
poor amy was punched and pinched.
later after the movie ended nat and amy went into the same cubicle?
we were like okay..
they were like.
what?
it saves time.
dont you do that?
we were like hell no!
it was around 1.40.
daniel sent us home.
we dropped off nat and amy first.
turned out they didnt wanna bring the key so they hid it in a shoe?
right!? went home,
and we started argueing with daniel that uncle albert's house wasnt there.
and everyone in the car was like no! it's so not!
and i was like. shit actually he's right.
daniel was so proud he could remember where our house was.
in the end he didnt turn at the right place.
pride comes before a fall.
he sent us up,
and he came out of the lift and was like " bye!"
and before he could get back in,
it closed on him.
haha.
loser.
later nat and amy asked me to think him for sending them back
and he was like it was my pleasure.
i was like ya it was wasnt it?
and he kept argueing with me that there was a hidden meaning behind it.
i told him.
sheesh you deserve to get lost.
went to sleep.
this morning.
gail woke me up saying she couldnt find the keys and blah blah!
and that she's so dead cos the church keys are there,
and the cash box key.
so i got up,
went to the hall,
and the first place i searched i pulled out the key.
haha.
it was hell funny.
i was so shocked myself.
well what can i say?
i'm so gifted!
The Girl Behind the Screen, 7:48 AM
Friday, October 01, 2004
if i had known that we would talk,
i would have went to school.
the point is,
i didnt.
i had no motivation to go to school.
anyway,
it was always trainingon the most boring days of school that kept me going.
well,
not anymore.
apparently my fever and headache's gone,
but my heart ache isnt.
the times i trained with you guys.
isnt it all just going down the drain?
the thought of training so hard for the past two years or less,
and then i'm kicked out,
and next year a person who probabaly doesnt deserve it,
a person who doesnt even know family,
a person who would desert basketball for popularity,
a person who doesnt know how lucky she is to go for training,
yea, a person's probably gonna replace me.
and now i hate patrick more than ever for taking it all away from me.
it just doesnt make sense.
apparently,
only the team can help me forget,
and now its then i'm supposed to forget.
it's just not right.
apparently,
i dont even know who to turn to now.
the team's like a distant dream.
you know like the ones where you wish so hard upon a shooting star,
and they never come true,
you know like the dreams of you and me?
the dreams to good to be true.
I'm awake in the afternoon I fell asleep in the living room, and it's one of those moments when everything is so clear. before the truth goes back into hiding I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding to work on finding something more than this fear
It takes so much out of me to pretend tell me now, tell me how to make amends maybe, I need to see the daylight to leave behind this half-life don't you see I'm breaking down lately, something here don't feel right this is just a half-life is there really no escape? no escape from timeof any kind
I keep trying to understand this thing and that thing, my fellow man I guess I'll let you know when i figure it out but I don't mind a few mysteries they can stay that way it's fine by me and you are another mystery i am missing
come on lets fall in love come on lets fall in love come on lets fall in loveagain
'cause lately something here don't feel right this is just a half-life,without you I am breaking down wake me, let me see the daylight save me from this half-life let's you and I escape escape from time
come on lets fallin love come on lets fall in love come on lets fall in love again
The Girl Behind the Screen, 9:47 AM
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ANNA CHEN JIEMIN
17 JULY 1990
SAINT THERESA'S CONVENT
GUITARIST AND CHILD OF YAHWEH
SINGAPORE
BASKETBALLER
PATRIOT.NOT
WHITE
The One who gave His life for me
My family
My friends
Big brothers and Little sister :D PJLA
Basketball and basketballers
Writing songs, poems
Music
Coffee (Starbucks over Coffee bean anytime :D)
Ben & Jerry's
Carl's Junior
Sushi
Travelling round the world
Photography
Backpacking
Kids
Grey's Anatomy!! :D
Friends Season 1-10!
Reading!!
Happy endings
Hotties and NICE EYES! :D
OBS!
BLACK
Goodbyes
Satan
Broken promises
Back stabbers
Air pollutants
Abusive parents
Abortions
GOLD
Psalm 27
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and they fell.
3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise up against me, in this will I be confident.
4 One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord and to enquire in His temple.
5 For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavillion: in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me; He shall set me upon a rock.
6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in His taberncale sacrifices of joy: I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.
7 Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me and answer me.
8 When Thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto Thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek.
9 Hide not Thy face far from me; put not Thy servant away in anger: Thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
11 Teach me Thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.
13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait I say, on the Lord.
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